Mo, I know it must be frustrating, but the fact is that you love your fish. It's obvious by your reaction to losing them and I can't believe that you truely want to just throw all that away. We all can see that you take good care of your fish, but sometimes things go wrong, sometimes it's a whole bunch of crap all at once and there is not much you can do to fix it. When things get rough just sit back, breath, think it over. Like ofl said, you should take a break and downsize a bit.
I may be rather new to this forum, but I've been reading through it for a while, and you are one of the members I had looked up to. It would be sad to see you go.