Rant about my betta-hating friend and boyfriend - Page 2 - Betta Fish and Betta Fish Care
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post #11 of 18 (permalink) Old 06-19-2013, 01:41 PM
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Iowa
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A good friend is hard to find, bad friends are a dime a dozen. If I were your I'd keep my dime and tell those "friends" to get lost. You do not need negative, hurtful people in your life, no matter how many years of friendship you have with them. Our lives are so short already, whats the point in wasting time with people who make you feel like you did when you posted this? You can't get that time back.

I have friends who don't understand my passion for my animals, particularly my guinea pigs and bettas, but they do not make fun of me for it or say negative things about my animals. I have one friend who thinks fish are food, and guinea pigs are cat food. But, whenever I post on FB about one being sick she is the first one there to comfort me. She even sometimes calls to check in on them when it's something serious. While my animals don't mean anything to her, she knows they are important to me, and I'm important to her and so by default they've become important to her through me. LOL I hope that makes sense. Anyway, just because they don't understand or even hate your animals doesn't give them the right to hurt you.

As for your boyfriend, it sounds like you guys need a serious talk. Beyond just him not supporting your hobby, he didn't support you when your "friends" said hurtful things. My boyfriend does not like my animals, and I know he doesn't. But, as long as I care for them and they don't bother him. He is fine with it. When his friends have attacked me for my love of animals he has defended me always. He might agree with some of what they say, but in a relationship you get your partners back.

Good luck.

The mom of: Too many to list now.
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post #12 of 18 (permalink) Old 06-19-2013, 03:09 PM
Join Date: May 2013
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Haters gonna hate always.

Plug your ears and continue what makes you happy.

My girlfriend always encouraged me about bettas and my aquariums. I have 5 tanks in my room right now and couldnt be happier :)

Also dont get me wrong but a truly friend should encourage you, not to make you upset.

If you like watching empty water, get 3 bare tanks and keep them who cares. Everyone has different tastes and different relaxing methods.

I get relaxed and get rid of the daily stress when I see my bettas, they watch my every move and I feel so relaxed, who cares others?

Even if it's the ugliest fish in the world, if it makes you happy, your "friend" should encourage you

Last edited by Iorek; 06-19-2013 at 03:12 PM.
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post #13 of 18 (permalink) Old 06-21-2013, 02:11 PM
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viva i am glad that you didn't go anywhere with her. I don't think it even healthy for you to have friend like that. Not only she don't have healthy life stile ,she can also influence, obviously your bf. And she is just ignorant and not intelligent person to say something like that. I would never even say it to a stranger . You have to respect other people interest , not even saying that she is your friend . And like Iorek wrote she has to encourage you , not upset . I would never trust someone like her. And are you sure you can trust your bf? Did he even understood his mistake?I would be very offended if my husband would support someone who attack me. It like stub in my back. I do have 10 tanks. It 2.5 and 1-5 gall and i have them everywhere in my house and my husband of course was annoyed . Can you imagine tanks everywhere. But guess what he respects me and he even bought the table for a few of my bettas . He knows how my bettas important for me and he respect my interest. I really don't think you should have her as a friend. And it a living thing and even if it ugly you have to respect it.
So i don't want to upset you with my negativity but you deserve a better friend. Obviously you understand that she is wrong , so you not like her.
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post #14 of 18 (permalink) Old 06-21-2013, 05:17 PM
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Personally, I think your bettas are beautiful, regardless of what your friend says. I wouldn't listen to her if I were you, and I would have a serious talk with your BF too.

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post #15 of 18 (permalink) Old 06-21-2013, 07:56 PM Thread Starter
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Location: Massachusetts
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Thank you guys for the support..it really means a lot to me. It is just sad that people I've trusted for so long would literally attack me like that :( I've decided I'm pretty much done with my "friend". She got mad at me for not going away with her so she probably won't want to speak to me for a while anyways, she's very spoiled and always gets her way. So when she doesn't get her way she gets very angry. @ANHEL123: Yes she certainly does have some bad habits, and she is DEFINITELY very influential. She can make anyone do basically anything, but people can also make her do basically anything. She is very dependent on men and their affections...and dependent on other things. Sometimes I feel very worried about her but then I can never tell her how I actually feel because she just finds a way to turn it around on me.

As for my boyfriend...yesterday we were arguing in the car on the way home about the fish because I told him that I was getting a new 30 gallon fish tank for my sorority tank. I'll be taking down two of the smaller tanks so I physically have enough room, lol. The conversation ended up with me saying, "You never support me in what I do." We got home and I awaited the arrival of my tank which the person on Craigslist was kind enough to deliver. I was afraid he would be upset if I asked him to help me, but he didn't, and helped me bring it up to the apartment. Then he was watching me intently while I inspected all the glass, gathered all the parts and put them together, and started cleaning it immediately. I think he realized then how much it actually meant to me. He said, "It's like me when I buy all new parts for a new computer." And I was basically astonished and kind of upset I didn't think of that analogy before he did, lol. We talked about how exciting it is to get a bunch of parts, put them together, and then have the reward of just simply seeing something work after you put it together. I added that it's even BETTER that I get to watch living creatures grow and interact with me, and he AGREED. We then had a very long and interesting talk about bettas. He's like, "You know bettas are extremely smart because right now you're standing in front of the tanks and every single one of the bettas is nearest to you looking right at you." I was very pleased that he likes my bettas, which he DID ADMIT. He said they are probably the coolest fish to own because they are so social and actually interact with you and that they are also the most beautiful of freshwater fish. I then told him some betta facts and aquarium facts and he was legitimately interested. So basically everything is patched up between him, me and the bettas =p I didn't really tell him how I feel about him not sticking up for me...but maybe that can be another talk for another time. As for my friend, I haven't spoken with her since I told her I wasn't going with her for the weekend.

This was supposed to be a "Quick Reply" but turned into a huge story. Oh well just thought I'd follow up :D

10 gallon planted - HMDT male betta, 4 peppered corys, assassin snails, Amano shrimp
10 gallon divided bare bottom - HMPK male, 2 VT males
29 gallon sorority planted [journal] - 6 females, 4 bronze corys, trumpet & nerite snails, 3 Amano shrimp

Last edited by Viva; 06-21-2013 at 07:58 PM.
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post #16 of 18 (permalink) Old 06-22-2013, 09:56 AM
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I love my fish. My husband has reached a point of tolerance but I don't think he will ever love them. He was not very understanding when I went and bought them. I have kept buying them. Soon I will have my sorority set up. You boyfreind should not be that belittling. I would especially be concerned if he does that in other situations. Remember he is a boyfriend. You can get another that like and supports your hobby and likes animals. You won't be very happy with someone that has no interest in something that is so important to you. You will spend your time defending your fish and animals from insults.

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post #17 of 18 (permalink) Old 06-24-2013, 11:41 AM
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Hey Viva it sound nice after all, but why he had to aggravate you and not support you in a first place. I hope he is a nice guy who deserve you . May be he just didn't understand the situation, especially if he don't know your friend good enough. May be just let him know how you felt at that moment ,and how lonely you was, so he understand and support you next time.
Good luck :)
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post #18 of 18 (permalink) Old 06-24-2013, 11:48 AM Thread Starter
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Thank you anhel, I don't know what his problem was honestly lol.

10 gallon planted - HMDT male betta, 4 peppered corys, assassin snails, Amano shrimp
10 gallon divided bare bottom - HMPK male, 2 VT males
29 gallon sorority planted [journal] - 6 females, 4 bronze corys, trumpet & nerite snails, 3 Amano shrimp
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