Rant about my betta-hating friend and boyfriend - Betta Fish and Betta Fish Care
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post #1 of 18 (permalink) Old 06-12-2013, 03:41 PM Thread Starter
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Rant about my betta-hating friend and boyfriend

So I invited my friend of over 10 years to come over my boyfriend and I's apartment last night because she told me that day she was quitting smoking cigarettes and I thought I could keep her mind off it. We don't really hang out as much anymore because she's honestly kind of a mean person and always wants to do things her way regardless of what it is. She also invited me to go away with her and her family this weekend to the Berkshire mountains. She knows I have fish tanks and betta fish, she herself is an animal lover with 4 chinchillas, a dog, and a cat. Somehow a discussion about my 4 tanks (3 ten gallon and a 5.5 gallon) came up and both she and my boyfriend (of 6 years) began attacking me about it, telling me I have way too many tanks and "what's the point". I told her I like betta fish and she then goes around and looks at all my bettas and says, "Well your betta fish aren't even cool looking like the ones you showed me on the internet so I don't know why you have so many tanks, there MUST be another reason." All the while my boyfriend was agreeing with every single thing she said, both about how all my betta fish are basically ugly, that I have too many tanks and he was giving her dozens of other negatives about owning the tanks. He literally does nothing to help me with any of my animals. I asked her what's the difference between 4 small tanks and one large one with many more fish in it and she said, "I don't know, I just don't like betta fish." I know everything she said is untrue and makes no sense considering betta fish are one of the most colorful and beautiful tropical fish you can own but I am still hurt by it. I'm more hurt my boyfriend was siding with her the entire time. Not to mention my friend has much more expensive and dangerous BAD HABITS such as cigarettes, prescription pills and sleeping around with a different guy every single week. Why do I let people bother me? Needless to say I'm not going away with her this weekend anymore because I know how that's going to end up...with me being miserable and not being able to do anything I want with a "friend" who's craving nicotine the entire time. My boyfriend will suffer silently at the whims of my passive-aggressive tendencies.

I'm just happy I have this forum to rant to where I know the people will understand, and not judge me on how many fish tanks I have. And I KNOW I'm not the only one here with 4 tanks or more.

/rant

10 gallon planted - HMDT male betta, 4 peppered corys, assassin snails, Amano shrimp
10 gallon divided bare bottom - HMPK male, 2 VT males
29 gallon sorority planted [journal] - 6 females, 4 bronze corys, trumpet & nerite snails, 3 Amano shrimp
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post #2 of 18 (permalink) Old 06-12-2013, 06:56 PM
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I've been in a situation similar to this before and it was when my last betta fish passed away. I was telling my friends about it how my female passed away and it was kind of upsetting to me since I didn't know what caused her to pass away. I few days go by and I decide to get another betta fish and I'm all excited and proceeded to tell my friends. While I was in and out of a Skype call with them, because I was setting up the tank and do everything for my new betta, my friends are going off insulting me while I'm gone and basically saying that it's just a stupid fish and it should be made into sushi instead. Now I'm not one to be calm about things that upset me or annoy me so to say the least my friends got an earful from me. And I only have ONE betta fish. A lot of people dont see the beauty in getting an aquarium which is perfectly understandable but those people shouldnt go off and be rude and make ignorant and terrible comments towards the owners of these pets. They ARE pets. Not just fish.

"Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming.
What do we do? We swim, swim."
- Dory
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post #3 of 18 (permalink) Old 06-12-2013, 06:59 PM
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See I couldn't be with someone that didn't support my passions. Animals play a huge role in my life and I couldn't be in a relationship with a man that didn't understand that and accept that this is what makes me happy.

I think rather than be passive-aggressive you should sit your boyfriend down and have a straight out talk with him about why you felt hurt when he belittled something that is very important to you.


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post #4 of 18 (permalink) Old 06-12-2013, 07:08 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LittleBettaFish View Post
See I couldn't be with someone that didn't support my passions. Animals play a huge role in my life and I couldn't be in a relationship with a man that didn't understand that and accept that this is what makes me happy.

I think rather than be passive-aggressive you should sit your boyfriend down and have a straight out talk with him about why you felt hurt when he belittled something that is very important to you.
I second this. You should talk to your boyfriend. Your significant other should always understand or at least accept your passion for certain things and not make you feel like it's a burden to them.

"Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming.
What do we do? We swim, swim."
- Dory
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post #5 of 18 (permalink) Old 06-12-2013, 07:39 PM
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I have 4 permanent quarantine tanks 4 tanks is not many, especially when they are small.

You should care about what makes your significant other happy, if for no other reason than because it makes them happy.


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125 - BGK, chanchito cichlid, pictus cats, silver dollars, palmas bichir
125 - cichlids (severums, bolivian rams, chocolate), rainbows ( turquoise, red), loaches (angelicus, zebra, kuhli and horseface), plecos (BN, RL and clown), denison barbs, tiretrack eel, pearl gouramis, betta
90 - Congo tetras, african knife, upside down cats, spotted ctenopoma, kribensis, delhezzi bichir
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post #6 of 18 (permalink) Old 06-12-2013, 09:27 PM Thread Starter
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Thanks you guys. You're right, I do have to speak with him about this. And I've told him many times that I'm always going to own and love animals because they make me happy, and I love caring for them. It is just hard for me to talk about anything like that without me getting angry in the end. Still I believe your significant other should always be on your side when someone is insulting them, especially over something so small. I don't know...you guys made me feel better though, thank you for listening!

10 gallon planted - HMDT male betta, 4 peppered corys, assassin snails, Amano shrimp
10 gallon divided bare bottom - HMPK male, 2 VT males
29 gallon sorority planted [journal] - 6 females, 4 bronze corys, trumpet & nerite snails, 3 Amano shrimp
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post #7 of 18 (permalink) Old 06-19-2013, 12:56 AM
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Why on Earth would anyone hate on you for your interest in fish keeping? It's a hobby you enjoy, end of story. It is not affecting your "friends" in any way whatsoever. So what's the point getting all mad about it?

Ridiculous.

5.5 - Xerxes. Divided 20L - Henrietta & many snails.

Swimming in the warm waters of betta heaven: Milo, Dragon, Jasper, Shiloh.
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post #8 of 18 (permalink) Old 06-19-2013, 11:45 AM
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There are always - unfortunately - going to be people who don't understand the interest in fish because they aren't like other pets that you can take out and cuddle... just like people who don't understand love of snakes or lizards or other things like that. Which is really dumb, everyone likes different things and people should understand that. Some people hate cats or dogs...

Fish are amazing and if you ask me then there is no such thing as too many tanks! Hell, at one point I had an assortment of small tanks ranging between 2.5 to 10 (about six) and now I just have three (a one gallon hospital, a twenty divided long for my boys and a 36 sorority) but I love my fish and think they're every bit as interesting as my cats and any dog I've ever had. They respond to and recognize me and no I can't cuddle them, but who cares? Your friend and boyfriend are just being close-minded and mean.

Male Bettas: Jasper (PK), Gold Dust (PK) Iced Steel (EE HM)
Other: Faith, Frankie, Sonic, Ashley & Anna (Juli cory catfish), Mr. Bristles (albino bristlenose pleco), The Shrimples (dozen ghost shrimp)
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post #9 of 18 (permalink) Old 06-19-2013, 12:12 PM
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There's as much variety in hobbies as there are people. Even if your boyfriend doesn't help you manage the tanks, I hope he at least can understand that setting up tanks and watching your fish develop and interact is something you enjoy.

Personally, I love watching my fish. Taking care of my tanks and fish feels a bit like growing an indoor garden: it takes work, but the results are very rewarding and quite beautiful! Not to mention that the interactivity and unique personalities of bettas compared to other fish makes them all the more enjoyable to take care of. :)
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post #10 of 18 (permalink) Old 06-19-2013, 12:33 PM Thread Starter
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Well put guys. It is not just about the fish...it's about the whole experience of setting up a tank, decorating it and making it flourish with life. You are literally creating a livable habitat for a creature that lives UNDERWATER. I just find that very intriguing. I have always loved nature, plants and animals so owning a few planted aquariums with the most beautiful and colorful tropical fish in the world sounds like a good time to me :) It's like a science project!

10 gallon planted - HMDT male betta, 4 peppered corys, assassin snails, Amano shrimp
10 gallon divided bare bottom - HMPK male, 2 VT males
29 gallon sorority planted [journal] - 6 females, 4 bronze corys, trumpet & nerite snails, 3 Amano shrimp
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