Sometimes I feel so overwhelmed...
I have 5 Bettas, and sometimes I just feel SO overwhelmed. Not because it's particularly hard to care for them, but because my back pain and depression sometimes get in the way. I keep thinking I want more fish, but then I get a reality check like today when I had to talk myself into doing a couple of water changes on my 3 gallon and 10 gallon (I only do my 5 gallon once a week because it has a filter).
I'm thinking of getting a filter for my 10 gallon so I can cycle it and make things easier on myself. I won't even bother doing that with my 3 gallon. Sequin hates filters. I tried him in the 5 gallon for a while, and he never stopped flaring at the filter box. Sometimes I wish I hadn't gotten so many fish, but now that I have them all, I couldn't imagine giving them up. They all have unique and adorable "fishonalities", which is a term I made up for fish personalities.
I also recently found out I have Bipolar disorder, which doesn't surprise me. I've suspected it for years. Sometimes during a manic episode, I'll be super vigilant about water changes, but during a depressive episode, it's all I can do to do the required changes. Also, with my anxiety, I'm constantly worrying about whether or not I'm taking care of my fish properly. But they also give me something besides my own problems to pay attention to. They are a great source of therapy for me, and I'm grateful for that. I thank God for the fact that I got interested in Bettas because I know I'd be worse off without them. They make me smile when I feel my worst.
Anyways, sorry for the huge wall of text. I just needed to let my feelings out. This may belong in the lounge, but since it's Betta related, I put it here. I made paragraphs to make it easier to read. I hope that helped. Thanks for listening. =)
Sequin (m), Shortcake (f), Westley (m), and Sir Righty of Walton (m).