Advice for a transexual betta's mommy? - Betta Fish and Betta Fish Care
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post #1 of 53 (permalink) Old 04-11-2012, 04:45 PM Thread Starter
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Unhappy Advice for a transexual betta's mommy?

Hey guys,

So as most of you know, I got my fish Rosie about a month ago. "She" was labeled as a female, but as she's started to grow, her fins have been getting longer and I think she is going to turn out to be a he.

For some reason, I'm having a REALLY hard time with this. I mean, when I got her, it was just me and her, two girlfriends living together. I would talk to her like she was a girl and I just saw her as a FEMALE. But now it seems that she has actually decided to become male ... For some reason this upsets me. I love her no matter what and she will always be my first fish friend, but I can't help but feel like the Rosie I bonded with is dying
I'm not really sure what to do right now. Has anyone else had a similar experience with a gender-bending betta? Any advice?
Do I have to rename and bond all over again?

-MadameDesu

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"For when Thou art our strength, it is strength indeed, but when our strength is our own it is only weakness." - St. Augustine (Confessions 4.XVI)

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post #2 of 53 (permalink) Old 04-11-2012, 04:48 PM
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He's still the same fish, the love should be the same with longer fins! He really didn't change into something else after all.

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post #3 of 53 (permalink) Old 04-11-2012, 04:50 PM Thread Starter
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I know that, but it's sort of hard to let my aspirations for a cute little girl go.
I wish it would have been more obvious ...

"It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it." - Aristotle

"For when Thou art our strength, it is strength indeed, but when our strength is our own it is only weakness." - St. Augustine (Confessions 4.XVI)

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post #4 of 53 (permalink) Old 04-11-2012, 04:53 PM
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does she have a white dot under her belly? if so yes should could be, does her. did you ever put her near a male and she'll have bars that go up and down? beard stick out her gills? a pic with her closer would help
not all females are short finned:

that was my girl's bidding photo, she passed away in a month, and she got beat up by a male for jumping over a divider:

^^^^that was the last pic i got of her
also if she is a male. dosen't mean she is transsexual she was just a very young male. also how long you had her? that would help

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post #5 of 53 (permalink) Old 04-11-2012, 04:54 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MadameDesu View Post
Hey guys,

So as most of you know, I got my fish Rosie about a month ago. "She" was labeled as a female, but as she's started to grow, her fins have been getting longer and I think she is going to turn out to be a he.

For some reason, I'm having a REALLY hard time with this. I mean, when I got her, it was just me and her, two girlfriends living together. I would talk to her like she was a girl and I just saw her as a FEMALE. But now it seems that she has actually decided to become male ... For some reason this upsets me. I love her no matter what and she will always be my first fish friend, but I can't help but feel like the Rosie I bonded with is dying
I'm not really sure what to do right now. Has anyone else had a similar experience with a gender-bending betta? Any advice?
Do I have to rename and bond all over again?

-MadameDesu
I've never had a gender-bending betta before but there is one thing I know, renaming?its up to you-maybe just take her name now and revamp it.But bonding again?No, just because rosie might be a boy doesn't change her personality or how much you love her, if you find out that rosie is a he, will her personality change?If you find out rosie is a he, will you love her any less?I don't think so, but I'll tell you one thing, you're not loosing her, you're finding her all over again, I hope I helped :)

BeckyFish97

Proud mum of : Gandalf, Lily,(ohm bettas)
Pineapple (male betta)
Jade, Indigo (hm bettas)
a few platys, a few guppies,
a few shrimp,
and whatever else sneaked into my tank while I wasnt looking

If it moves. . .BITE IT!!!


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post #6 of 53 (permalink) Old 04-11-2012, 04:55 PM Thread Starter
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She has an egg spot, and her beard doesn't stick out her gills.
But her fins just keep getting longer and longer.

"It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it." - Aristotle

"For when Thou art our strength, it is strength indeed, but when our strength is our own it is only weakness." - St. Augustine (Confessions 4.XVI)

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post #7 of 53 (permalink) Old 04-11-2012, 04:56 PM
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Might still be a girl then.

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post #8 of 53 (permalink) Old 04-11-2012, 04:58 PM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by BeckyFish97 View Post
I've never had a gender-bending betta before but there is one thing I know, renaming?its up to you-maybe just take her name now and revamp it.But bonding again?No, just because rosie might be a boy doesn't change her personality or how much you love her, if you find out that rosie is a he, will her personality change?If you find out rosie is a he, will you love her any less?I don't think so, but I'll tell you one thing, you're not loosing her, you're finding her all over again, I hope I helped :)
Awww ... that's actually really beautiful.
If she does turn out to be a he, I'll just go with Rosario!
I do love him/her, no matter what! It's just hard to shift mindsets, I guess.

"It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it." - Aristotle

"For when Thou art our strength, it is strength indeed, but when our strength is our own it is only weakness." - St. Augustine (Confessions 4.XVI)

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post #9 of 53 (permalink) Old 04-11-2012, 04:58 PM
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i had a fry i raised from a month old baby. i called it a he more often than not, because it felt like it'd grow into a boy to me.

then, at 3 months old, i finally found out my little trooper, was a girl. instead of being upset, i was excited! it was a fun twist! you bonded with Rosie. it might help if you kept his name as Rosie(even though it's girlie). really, Rosie's still the same fish, just threw you a twist.
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post #10 of 53 (permalink) Old 04-11-2012, 04:59 PM Thread Starter
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How long until their fins are fully grown?

"It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it." - Aristotle

"For when Thou art our strength, it is strength indeed, but when our strength is our own it is only weakness." - St. Augustine (Confessions 4.XVI)

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