Ok the answers are:
The third room, as pointed out by TheCrabbyTabby, they are dead as a doorknob...or is it nail...
The woman is a photographer
The obvious one is the coal, black-when you get it, red-when you use it, grey-when you've made it die a very painful death :P
Yesterday, today and tomorrow are the fourth answer-as guessed by thekinetic
And the last one is indeed that regardless of the fact that the letter e is the most commonly used letter in the alphabet, it does not appear at all in the text!
Also sorry for the late answers!
TheCrabbyTabby: I actually meant to put you definitely got one question right, I didn't say you got the other one wrong :P
Keep the jokes coming people!!!
Proud mum of : Gandalf, Lily,(ohm bettas)
Pineapple (male betta)
Jade, Indigo (hm bettas)
a few platys, a few guppies,
a few shrimp,
and whatever else sneaked into my tank while I wasnt looking
If it moves. . .BITE IT!!!