Joke - Betta Fish and Betta Fish Care
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
post #1 of 12 (permalink) Old 08-08-2012, 01:37 PM Thread Starter
New Member
 
Panzer's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Nebraska
Posts: 59
Joke

"A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles has passed away." The distressed woman wailed," Are you sure?" "Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead, " replied the vet. "How can you be so sure?" she protested. "I mean you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might be in a coma or something." The vet rolled his eyes. turned around and left the room. He returned a few minutes later with a black labrador retriever. As the duck owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head. The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room. A few minutes later he returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately snifffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room. The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck." The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman. The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$820?" she cried,"$820 just to tell me my duck is dead!" The vet shrugged,"I'm sorry. If you had taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now $820."

Panzer

Troops
Barakus: Marble Combtail/Crowntail 12/10/2011
Grimm: Black Crowntail 07/03/2012
Panzer is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #2 of 12 (permalink) Old 08-08-2012, 01:56 PM
New Member
 
Catfish Billy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: England
Posts: 219
Ha, ha, ha! lol Nice joke!

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
Catfish Billy is offline  
post #3 of 12 (permalink) Old 08-08-2012, 02:07 PM
New Member
 
Htennek's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Somewhere between rage and serenity.... if I am not there, then I must be in the coffeehouse chat.
Posts: 106
Ba dum tssss!
Htennek is offline  
post #4 of 12 (permalink) Old 08-08-2012, 02:15 PM
Member
 
SnowySurface's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Bay Shore, NY
Posts: 562
I feel like I've heard this joke before but I can't remember where. XD

Betta Buddies: Jet <:))))<
(\ (\
( ^_^) This is Bunny. Copy and Paste Bunny into
(_(")(") your signature to help him gain world domination!
SnowySurface is offline  
post #5 of 12 (permalink) Old 08-08-2012, 08:37 PM
Member
 
Rosso1011's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Virginia
Posts: 563
That made me smile. I've heard a similar joke before.
Rosso1011 is offline  
post #6 of 12 (permalink) Old 08-08-2012, 08:37 PM
TFK Moderator
 
Romad's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Southern NH
Posts: 3,336
Ha ha ha

Animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.
Romad is offline  
post #7 of 12 (permalink) Old 08-08-2012, 08:40 PM
Member
 
MyRainbowBettaFish's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 2,419
HARDY HAR HAR!!! nice joke :) and a cute one too :)

Proud Equestrian

~Casper HMDT
MyRainbowBettaFish is offline  
post #8 of 12 (permalink) Old 08-08-2012, 09:38 PM
Banned
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Central Texas
Posts: 27,605
I've heard that joke before. Lol. Cute.
dramaqueen is offline  
post #9 of 12 (permalink) Old 08-12-2012, 10:57 AM
Member
 
homegrown terror's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 1,366
Q: a punk, a biker and two gangstas are in a car. who's driving?

A: the cop.

So remember, when you're feeling very small and insecure,
How amazingly unlikely is your birth,
And pray that there's intelligent life somewhere up in space,
'Cause there's bugger-all down here on Earth.

Godric/Eric/Sookie/Frodo/Sam/Vlad/Rasputin/Genghis/Hannibal/TARDIS/
LaVey/Crowley/Dahmer/Ripper/Al/Thor/Skadhi/Freija/Sunna/Mead/Mani/
Loki/Grendel/Gail/Beowulf/Camilla/River/Bathory/Arwen/Lafayette/Deb/Jack Skellington (soon)
homegrown terror is offline  
post #10 of 12 (permalink) Old 08-12-2012, 05:39 PM Thread Starter
New Member
 
Panzer's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Nebraska
Posts: 59
My girlfriend left a note on the fridge, "It's not working. I can't take it anymore. I am going to my Mom's place."

I opened the fridge. The light came on, the beer was cold. What the heck is she talking about?

Panzer

Troops
Barakus: Marble Combtail/Crowntail 12/10/2011
Grimm: Black Crowntail 07/03/2012
Panzer is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on the Betta Fish and Betta Fish Care forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in









Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page



Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
is this a joke? Waterbottle2 Betta Chat 24 10-16-2010 07:13 PM

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

 
Powered by vBadvanced CMPS v3.2.3
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome