Making fun of a girl who commited suicide - Page 10 - Betta Fish and Betta Fish Care
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post #91 of 120 (permalink) Old 10-25-2012, 01:59 PM
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Just going to point out a few things:

1. Regarding the fact that she was 15 and "not mature" enough to be able to understand consequences: People aged 16 are allowed to dive around 3000-pound pieces of metal on public streets. If the government feels that 16 year olds are cognitively mature enough to drive, I'm pretty sure they are capable of thinking: "Hey if I do something stupid, people will make fun of me!" Also don't forget that the government also feels that 18 year olds are perfectly capable of living on their own and getting married. Even though medically the adult brain does not settle down until the average age of 25.

2. Regarding people making fun of Amanda Todd dying (not inital bulliers): I do not like these people either. While she was indeed being stupid I don't think people should be mocking the dead for any reason.

3. Cyber-bullying vs IRL bullying: It's a proven cognitive effect that the internet gives us a sense of safety because you're sitting behind a screen with no real contact to that person. I could EASILY go on to a random person's facebook wall or type in a totally random email or even a text message on my phone and be all: "HAHA YOU ARE DUMB", with absolutely no repercussions. However back when I was younger, we didn't really have that kind of thing, so all bullying was done face to face. You had to have a pair to actually go up to somebody's face and do it. Nowadays if you did, that person would probably just knock you in the face (deservedly).

3. Psychology of Bullying: In Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, the reason why bullies exist is (like somebody...I think Rosso? said) is because of the lack of self esteem and attention they receive from home. However this combination doesn't always end up with a bully, it just depends on how the child deals with it (which is a whole different level of psychology). Some children become bullies, some become those loud, insufferable attention seekers with infinite piercings/hairstyles/clothing choices, loud but fairly "productive" form of compensation (I am not stereotyping, I have papers about this).

4. Maslow's Heirarchy pt.2: The victim is usually the victim because they fall far outside of social standings, usually they "did something stupid", or they are "different". One can say that racism is just an extreme form of bullying. Blacks were "bullied" because they were different in many ways. It's the same deal with people bullying homosexuals. I was bullied in school for being a "half-breed". You can unfortunately not do anything about your race/sexual orientation/religion, but if you do do something stupid, owning up to your mistake is the perfect cannon fodder that will dissipate bullies.

5. How to deal with it:

1.Ignore the singular bully. They want attention, if you don't give it to them then they'll just get bored of you. If you're gonna be all: "WAAHH THAT PERSON IS MEANN", then that in itself is ALSO a cry for attention, which the bully will dish out to you (gladly). If it is a group of bullies (and or the whole school) moving schools will solve nothing because that is an action in and of itself. The bullies will be self satisfied over the fact that you had to change schools to get away from them.

2. Don't make Facebook into some sort of glorified real-life. Somebody makes fun of you on facebook? Big deal, put on your adult pants and move on with your life. It's their own loss for taking the time out of their day to hop onto facebook to type a nasty comment to you.

3. Don't internalize. If you're just going to internalize everything everybody says or everything that has been done to you for the rest of your life, YOU'RE GONNA HAVE A BAD TIME. Most, if not all bullies will end up being straightened out and/or failing at life just as much as the next person. I know some of my bullies who are in med school while others are unemployed losers. It doesn't matter.

6. Who's fault is it in Amanda Todd's Case?: A LOT of people are at fault here, but the blame game won't get us anywhere with fixing up bullying and cyber-bullying. The only solution is education and discipline. However, for argument's sake, this is a list of people who I blame about this:

1. Amanda herself: I know that not many people are smart at her age, but what she did was NOT a one time occurrence. Regardless of peer pressure, she could have said NO to that 30-year old guy, she could have said NO to that school-boy

2. Amanda's Parents: Why did they let her on the internet UNSUPERVISED at that age? Why did they not teach her about peer pressure? Why was she even allowed on those super sketchy webcam-chat websites? Everybody and their mother (irony, ha) knows that Chatroulette and Omeagle are just full of guys with their "firemen" out, hoping to catch a girl online.

3. Teacher's at school: I am aware that for some reason teachers are powerless at schools now but this is just another reason to let them have their power back. Teachers are supposed to be in loco parentis are they not?

4. 30 Year old: Obvious reason. PREDATOR (not preditor)

5. School-boy: While not many guys at that age who are sexually active will turn down sex with a girl, his action for broadcasting his...activities with her are mind-boggling at best.

Once again I reiterate that placing an official blame on somebody will solve nothing. Parents and teachers need to EDUCATE their children on what is right and wrong. Suicide is a PERMANENT answer for a TEMPORARY problem. Just don't let it be the ONLY answer.



TL;DR: Be literally the bigger person, just move forward with your life while others are trying to milk the past from you. Don't cry over some idiot who you're only going to see for a maximum of 20% of your life.

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Last edited by bahamut285; 10-25-2012 at 02:07 PM. Reason: SPEELING AND GRAMMARZ
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post #92 of 120 (permalink) Old 10-26-2012, 02:35 PM
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@Bahamut285

In my opinion the difference between a 15 year old and a 25 year old is the 15 year old can't follow your advice on Facebook to save her life and the 25 year old cancelled her account 2 years ago. XD

I also think driving a car is 1000000 fold easier than managing a love life. I do not think Todd didn't understand that her actions were bad and would have consequence because she didn't bring the 30 year old to meet her parents or tell her parents she was going to sleep with another girl's boyfriend. If a teen hides something, that teen knows he/she is breaking a rule and will get introuble. I think Todd didn't realize the trouble she would get into would huant her for years. That's the problem. Not the idea that teens don't realize doing something bad causes bad things to happen to them. The problem is teens are short sighted and don't realize the dumb thing they do today can trip them up 5 years in the future.

However, with the exception of those two points, I agree with your post 110%.

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post #93 of 120 (permalink) Old 10-26-2012, 07:46 PM
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I disagree with four sadism is enjoying people's pain and some people get enough attention and have good self esteem like if a person with narccism bullies someone explain that plus revenge complex bullying someone who oucked omyou in the past or treats you bad you attack.
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post #94 of 120 (permalink) Old 10-26-2012, 10:15 PM
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I don't care if someone did something stupid or is different, thast doesn't give anyone the right to bully someone else.THAT'S stupid.
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post #95 of 120 (permalink) Old 10-27-2012, 08:18 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dramaqueen View Post
I don't care if someone did something stupid or is different, thast doesn't give anyone the right to bully someone else.THAT'S stupid.
I do agree its wrong.
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post #96 of 120 (permalink) Old 10-28-2012, 01:05 AM
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I never said it gives people the right to bully. I'm just saying doing those kinds of things gives ammunition to bullies.

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post #97 of 120 (permalink) Old 10-28-2012, 06:43 AM
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Well put, Bahamut. I appreciate your way of looking at this situation. Nice use of Maslow.
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post #98 of 120 (permalink) Old 10-28-2012, 07:14 AM
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But rember some 15 are more mature than some 30 year old some people in one age group are at a higher cognative age I have people wonder if i work at pet stores if I am an adult but struggle with consquences an a way I am better with Bettas thaan with caring for myself.
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post #99 of 120 (permalink) Old 10-28-2012, 10:56 AM
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I never did anything stupid, I got bullied because of my disability and looking "different."
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post #100 of 120 (permalink) Old 10-28-2012, 11:57 AM Thread Starter
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Um...I was bullied because I am autistic. Not everyone does something stupid to deserve to be bullied about. I guess gays are picked on because being gay is "stupid", right?

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