I need to update myself here... - Page 2 - Betta Fish and Betta Fish Care
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post #11 of 21 (permalink) Old 12-09-2012, 07:45 AM
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no, there isn't anyone in my school i'm able to talk to about my personal things.
I really encourage you to find someone, a teacher, principal anybody. Otherwise I would press the issue with your parents. There is no reason for you not to enjoy life. I give you big props for speaking out here. We may not know you personally but we do care.
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post #12 of 21 (permalink) Old 12-09-2012, 10:17 AM Thread Starter
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my parents just think i don't have depression, it's just me.
my outer family (aunts, uncles, cousins, etc) are a very bad influence on my mothers side, and they take their anger on my family .-. In which i have no idea why, we've never really done anything wrong. so it just bothers me and can't seem to be happy where i'm living (nor with myself) because my mom side of the family live upstairs from us :\ i rather not talk about things they do say in public.

[CENTER] Cherry Pop, Gus Gus, Gaia
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post #13 of 21 (permalink) Old 12-10-2012, 12:12 AM
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Sorry to hear that things are tough for you right now. Did you notice your motivational levels drop when the weather got colder and the days got shorter? If so, do some research on S.A.D. (Seasonal Affective Disorder). Not saying that's what you have, but it's something to research.
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post #14 of 21 (permalink) Old 12-10-2012, 07:19 AM
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I'm so sorry you're having such a hard time. PLEASE don't take this in the wrong way, but I really wish you had a better support system :( I did not have a good support system when I was sort of in your shoes. Such a destructive cycle. I've failed pets before, the feeling is awful. But you always have to forgive yourself. There is always redemption (not always but in your case, absolutely). You're a kid. (so am i :3) <3 Most of school is pretty challenging for me, but my school is especially supportive and caring of students, especially if they wANT to do better. Is there anything you excel at? Arts? Music? Acting? English? History? Math? Science? Something you really have a passion for and something that really calls out to you? I suggest you focus on that. Develop a system for yourself and your fish. Or re-home them until things get more stable -hug-

Just get through the high school years, focus on a goal for yourself and possibly going to college if that's what you want? Moving away? working? I HATED counselors until this year honestly. HATED them. Hated most authority figures until high school in fact. I understand not being able to talk to someone, or trust someone. If you just aren't at that place yet, it's totally fine.

I'm really sorry your home life is stressful :( <3

pm me anytime. Seriously. I'm not 'an established member' nor do I know you but I know what feelings are. big hug.
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post #15 of 21 (permalink) Old 12-10-2012, 07:48 AM Thread Starter
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i actually don't think it is the weather, i've been like this for a long time now.

my parents just don't want to believe, and i don't want my brothers to find out how i really am. Then the rest of my family doesn't even notice (they're too busy)
thanks butterfly, i don't think my goals will really be necessary, i've lost some motivation on too many things.

[CENTER] Cherry Pop, Gus Gus, Gaia
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post #16 of 21 (permalink) Old 12-10-2012, 07:58 AM
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i actually don't think it is the weather, i've been like this for a long time now.

my parents just don't want to believe, and i don't want my brothers to find out how i really am. Then the rest of my family doesn't even notice (they're too busy)
thanks butterfly, i don't think my goals will really be necessary, i've lost some motivation on too many things.
My mom doesn't believe that I have a learning difference. It's terrible when something is wrong and your parents refuse to believe that there is a problem. So you have to work around it.... for now at least.
You ought to have some goals? Even if it's as simple as taking better care of your fish? Love is a strong motivation.
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post #17 of 21 (permalink) Old 12-11-2012, 01:09 AM Thread Starter
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all i really need is to be separate from my outer family of my moms side X\ they give me way too much stress than a teen should have (we're supposed to move next year, so hopefully that will help). Maybe if my family could have some isolation, things would get better.
My goals aren't useful for society, so it doesn't make them very important. But taking care of my pets is a goal i guess.

[CENTER] Cherry Pop, Gus Gus, Gaia
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post #18 of 21 (permalink) Old 12-11-2012, 03:12 AM
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betta_lover, I'm pretty new on the forums, so I don't know you that well, but here's my two cents: I was quite the nightmare as a teenager, probably worse than you in fact. Manic depression, an eating disorder, excessive drinking, forever in trouble at school (both grades-wise and in other ways), no friends and all. Through a chain of rather unfortunate events which ended in a breakup with a much older boyfriend, I tried to commit suicide. I had to move 8,000 miles away from it all to finally get back on my feet and start living. Now, things aren't perfect, but they're quite nice.

I know you're probably tired of hearing this, but it will get better once you're out of high school and are able to leave home and make your own decisions. Devote yourself to your animals for the moment, try to get the best marks you can in school so that you have choices later in life, and don't get involved in the same kind of problems that I did ;) Keep your head down and your chin up! Many of us know exactly how you feel and are here to help. Hugs and I wish all the best for you.

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post #19 of 21 (permalink) Old 12-11-2012, 04:48 PM Thread Starter
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the thing is i can't make friends because of my maturity. i see others my age frequently obnoxious, and bad influencing. People i talk to are approximately late 20s or 30s X\
i don't do drugs, i don't drink, i'm not materialistic, i don't cause over stress onto my parents, and i choose to wear clothing that actually covers my legs and arms >-> i don't even like low collared shirts and such (i sound like an old lady) but I could go on though.
i'm just an outcast teen with differences in many things, and i'm considered an Emo for it.

[CENTER] Cherry Pop, Gus Gus, Gaia
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post #20 of 21 (permalink) Old 12-12-2012, 02:37 AM
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I'm sorry you feel that way. I have felt like an outcast, too because no one wants to be friends with someone who can't drive and is disabled. I'm 51 years old and have no children or grandchildren. If only people would take the time to get to know someone instead of judging then by how they dress, look or whatever.
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