Need some life advice/ support - Page 2 - Betta Fish and Betta Fish Care
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post #11 of 13 (permalink) Old 05-08-2013, 03:09 PM
Little Leaf's Avatar
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: In the wilderness! and my house sometimes. IT'S AWESOME, RIGHT?! *Wolf howl*
Posts: 964
There's this forum called life revived and there are many people who can help! you should sign up.

That photo is resized. It says: "My past does not define me. My strength is an illusion. My calm hides a storm. My innocence is not ignorance.
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post #12 of 13 (permalink) Old 05-08-2013, 03:41 PM
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Colorado Springs, CO
Posts: 86
I will start off by saying I do not know the details of your mom and step moms split and the details truly do not matter. I will say being a lesbian myself I know all relationships are difficult but gay relationships come with a whole other set of difficulties. I do not know where you live but even the most liberal of places have prejudices and this makes it difficult to have a relationship if you are having to hide your relationships especially if one party is ďoutĒ and the other isnít. Believe me I have personally dealt with this, Not to mention I think maybe your mom should have spent some time dealing with her and your dadís relationship failures before jumping in to another relationship so quickly.

Now I am the step parent to a wonderful 17rd old boy his mother and I have been together for almost 6 years and have battled many issues in our relationship which has not made it easy but we did not give up even when times got ugly. I personally do not see anything wrong with maintaining a relationship with the step family. If your mom has an issue with it the issue is hers alone. Do not feel bad for the choices you make. She is an adult as you are and both of you are free to make your own choices as to who you maintain a relationship with. It sounds like you are a very smart, tough, level headed woman despite the challenges you have faced so kudos to you.

Never feel ashamed of who you are or the fact that sometimes you may need help coping with life issues. There is medication on the market for a reason. I too have struggled with addiction so again I can relate and admitting you had a problem is great. You can overcome the depression I promise. Prayer is a good choice in that. Also meditation and breathing exercises will help. Just try to stay positive and tell yourself you can do it. It may take weeks, months or even years but you CAN DO IT! I am glad you have found a good relationship and like you said if you try to work thru your problems and just donít give up I think you will have a great life together. If you need an ear I am here. Like I said I have been in the same situation just a different role.
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post #13 of 13 (permalink) Old 05-09-2013, 02:31 PM
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Mississauga, Ontario
Posts: 923
I want to say something insightful and helpful and encouraging but I don't have anything that hasn't already been said.

I've been in damaging relationships myself. The very same kind you have. You just can't make someone love you if they don't and you can't be anyone's sloppy seconds no matter how badly you want them. When you do find someone you can trust who is loyal and deserving of your love, and when they love you back, HOLD ON TO THEM. Things can get tough. You might even get bored. Things may seem less exciting at some point. DON'T GIVE UP. Build a solid relationship together. Get comfortable with one another. Be each others best friend and support. Find a healthy dynamic and work with it. This is the advice I can give.
Depression and anxiety are nothing to be ashamed of. I have suffered from both for many years but hid it until 1.5 years ago. I have been on medication since then. I don't want to be on medication but with out it I am not myself. Medication helps me deal with my emotions and everyday life. It helps me function. I want to function. Do not be ashamed that at one point you needed medication to cope. It is not your fault that your body became addicted to the meds. They are chemicals that alter your own chemicals. When you stop taking them your body has to revert back to its original state and that is very hard for it to do. If you need medication to help your anxiety then you should take it. If you can find natural ways to help you cope, then you should do those. Do what you need to do in order to function and have a healthy, happy life.
I can't offer any advice on your mother though. My own is dysfunctional in a different way and I have not yet learned how to deal with her other than ignoring her when she becomes to hard to be around. The only thing I can say is do not accept responsibility for her actions.
Please pm me if you want to talk. I like listening to others.

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