Why people are afraid to post on this forum. - Page 3 - Betta Fish and Betta Fish Care
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post #21 of 85 (permalink) Old 05-30-2013, 03:12 PM
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It's not calling anyone in particular out. This is a discussion Stone and I have had and been having for months in regards to some of the poor people that have posted topics that didn't go well on this forum. It's not even about the thread last night - it's about a cummulation of all the threads that go exactly like that every time a similair topic is posted and discourages posting. It's a call to keep threads on topic and not derail them with advise and information that is basically attacking the OP, it happens almost certainly with certain types of threads. If people ask for advise or help, give it to them but if they don't stick to the topic of the thread.

Would it be so hard to keep threads on topic as to what they were posted to discuss and not have tangents about fish care, telling people their 1 gallon is to small, telling people they don't have the appropriate fish in the tank. That they need a new tank or insulting them when they just want to have a community discussion? It's impossible to have a discussion at this time because every single thread gets derailed about PH, hardness of water, tank size, fish in the tank if someone disagees with that they read. Start a new thread, PM the person you are taking offense to, find a polite and tactful way to tell them their tank sucks in your opinion, etc.

Promote community and stop letting the OP of threads be attacked and topics derailed.
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post #22 of 85 (permalink) Old 05-30-2013, 03:13 PM
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Hi, I am not very well known as I am fairly new member but I have been reading threads for a while before I joined. I personally decided to join as I noticed that the core people I see over and over...seem to me have a pretty strong and friendly community. I do observe that there are many "younger" members.(I'm not that old though... but an adult! ) I take in consideration past posts and threads when I take advice from what I have read. Just with any community...some have egos, some are sensative..I like the people I have meet here so far. :)
Manisha, it's nice to meet you & welcome to the forum. There does really seem to be a core group that replies to most posts and some people that are really helpful & not at all offensive about it. Even some of those "younger" members you mentioned. I am that old, lol, and was surprised when I realized some of the help I was getting in the beginning came from high schoolers. Not because they had knowledge, but because they were able to post with respect to other members. A lot of times it seems the 'grown-ups' are the ones with the problems on here. I still think a lot of it could be settled by taking a second look if you get offended. Don't ever hesitate to post a question if you have it and can't find the information, because most of the people on here are here to help each other out. I've learned a lot and made some great friends here in the last couple of months. Hope you find your time here as valuable as I have.

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post #23 of 85 (permalink) Old 05-30-2013, 03:16 PM
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That's part of what being a forum is though. You shouldn't post a topic on an open forum if you only want to read what you want to read.

Just because the OP (this is not in regards to this topic) may not find what someone has posted as relevant, doesn't mean another member or guest reading along won't benefit from what has been posted.
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post #24 of 85 (permalink) Old 05-30-2013, 03:18 PM
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Okay, I admit..I have NO CLUE what OP means..but, thanks to the forum, I now know that NPT doesn't mean, NON PLANTED TANK..lol

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post #25 of 85 (permalink) Old 05-30-2013, 03:21 PM
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Well for me it is because of me being new. I have done a lot of research, but that still doesn't mean I'm perfect. I started a for fun post but then was ran down, so that deterred me from posting fun little things. But I'm starting to do it again. Also since some friendships have been formed it's hard to get into a clique you think you might get along with. But that's with any social situation.
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post #26 of 85 (permalink) Old 05-30-2013, 03:26 PM
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I will agree to this and allow ... since Stone did start the thread he was really putting himself out there on a limb but lets not break it off and beat him with it...lol
He is looking for answers on the issue just like the rest of us.

Also I dont any of us ever would want a member to be afraid to ask a question, I had to ask many questions when I first joined here because I knew nothing about Bettas only what I had read and it means so much more when you can ask your questions here and get more of a human contact feeling instead of just a book or articles you read on line.

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post #27 of 85 (permalink) Old 05-30-2013, 03:30 PM
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wish4coner I had to ask what OP meant myself, it means original poster.

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post #28 of 85 (permalink) Old 05-30-2013, 03:39 PM
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lol...TY! See, that's why I asked. It means Overland Park to me, and I was hoping it wasn't to me. :)

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post #29 of 85 (permalink) Old 05-30-2013, 03:41 PM
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Originally Posted by LittleBettaFish View Post
Stone, I feel you are being hypocritical. You have several times in recent threads come across as very abrasive and borderline condescending.

Anecdotal evidence will never trump cold, hard facts. For example, ammonia is toxic to fish. Does this mean every fish will die when exposed to 5ppm of ammonia? No, but that doesn't change the truth of the initial statement. Just because someone's fish lived in a poorly maintained bowl for five years doesn't mean that ammonia becomes magically non-toxic to fish.

So is it rude of me to call someone out on that? Just because much of this hobby is based on personal experience doesn't mean that you cannot ever be wrong.

I think that it is passive-aggressive drama like this that is a big turn-off for a lot of members.
I agree.

Very few things in fish keeping are black and white - virtually everything falls somewhere between right and wrong. Some things are more right than others, and some things are more wrong than others. That's just the way it is. Many members, myself included, provide advice based on what is in our opinion more of less best for the fish. What people ultimately decide to do is up to them - we all have to decided what we want to provide our fish with. I for one couldn't care less what anyone does with their fish...but I do care that people have good, better and best from which to choose.

And I agree - the drama is one of the main reasons why most of the main site members don't bother with the betta forum.


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post #30 of 85 (permalink) Old 05-30-2013, 03:47 PM
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I always think that members who have just entered the hobby and are new to the site don't deserve to be chased off with flaming torches and pitchforks.

We all have to start somewhere, and if a member is seriously willing to learn (there are some new members who seem content to wallow in their ignorance) I would never think to put them down or abuse them.

No one starts off in this hobby doing everything right from day one. Therefore, it is wrong to enter the thread of a new member and just steam-roll them with your opinion.

However, I think if you have been on this site a while and know how things work and you post something unorthodox or controversial, than you should expect to get some strong opposition to your post.

An example would be that someone keeps two male bettas in a tank together. The majority of posters in varying degrees of forcefulness suggest this is a bad idea. Maybe a couple of members pipe up intermittently saying something in support of the OP.

As an established member who has been around the forum for a while, I would not think this kind of response to your thread would be unexpected. There are just certain topics on this forum that elicit strong emotions. Continually going against the grain of what is considered 'acceptable' on this forum is not likely to win you a lot of support or positive response.
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