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post #1 of 47 (permalink) Old 06-05-2013, 08:43 AM Thread Starter
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dont read this unless ypu wam t

Lately, I have been really depressed. There are so many reasons why, but the main one are, I have been having some really bad family problems lately. I git mad at myself because when my parents divorced I was so upset because I had to get two of everything (like papers) and i wa always in the middle if all their fights, but now I scold myself for being so stupid, amd not realizing how good I had it...now, I almost break Inti tears everytime I see for instance a field because it reminds me of my dads house... This has been really hard on me and it breaks my heart that everyone around me sees me as a happy person, but inside im dying. I would be crying as I write thus but I'm in public, and I never cry in public. I want to tell my dad that everyday I look for him, and everyday I look for his car, but I never find it. And everyday I look for him, he's never there, and I want to ask him why he wasnt there when I needed him most but he's not even there for me to tell him. No, he's not dead, but the last time I saw him was the first week of JANUARY. I know this is hard for him too, but I feel like no one understands my past has been hard for me, and I have been literly scard for life. I know that that place wasn't good for me, and I was treaters badly, but I can't help but miss it. Since I have been gone, 3 cats I deeply loved, died and I'm afraid more loved pets will die before I see them again.

That's the problem. I'm afraid.

I either talk to my fish when I'm mad, or I'm mad because I talk to my fish.
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post #2 of 47 (permalink) Old 06-05-2013, 08:54 AM
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Hey there. Being afraid & feeling alone is never fun. I'm 36 and have a house full, but I have depression and even being surrounded by people that love me I often feel that way. It sounds like you have gone through a lot recently and have every right to feel the way you do. Not knowing you exact situation I can't really offer advise, but I wanted you to know that you are not alone.

Dream Bettas: Pure white HM or VT (for my daughter), new 'spikey' fish (CT for my son), blue & orange betta male (for my fiance), and more live plants (for my bettas )


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post #3 of 47 (permalink) Old 06-05-2013, 09:23 AM
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Me too I also wanted to say you're not alone.. Things like this are really tough and scary and I've been thru a similar time in my life. What about if you write your dad a letter and tell him how you've been feeling? Do you think that would help?
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post #4 of 47 (permalink) Old 06-05-2013, 09:39 AM
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Hi alwaysaBettaLover,

Don't be upset with yourself. It is normal for anyone to be afraid in a situation such as the one you described. Like the others, I don't know your exact circumstances, but I can understand depression. If you ever need anything, we're all here for you. My PM box is always open if you want some to listen or talk to.

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post #5 of 47 (permalink) Old 06-05-2013, 09:51 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by alwaysaBettaLover View Post
Lately, I have been really depressed. There are so many reasons why, but the main one are, I have been having some really bad family problems lately. I git mad at myself because when my parents divorced I was so upset because I had to get two of everything (like papers) and i wa always in the middle if all their fights, but now I scold myself for being so stupid, amd not realizing how good I had it...now, I almost break Inti tears everytime I see for instance a field because it reminds me of my dads house... This has been really hard on me and it breaks my heart that everyone around me sees me as a happy person, but inside im dying. I would be crying as I write thus but I'm in public, and I never cry in public. I want to tell my dad that everyday I look for him, and everyday I look for his car, but I never find it. And everyday I look for him, he's never there, and I want to ask him why he wasnt there when I needed him most but he's not even there for me to tell him. No, he's not dead, but the last time I saw him was the first week of JANUARY. I know this is hard for him too, but I feel like no one understands. my past has been hard for me, and I have been literly scard for life. I know that that place wasn't good for me, and I was treated badly, but I can't help but miss it. Since I have been gone, 3 cats I deeply loved, died and I'm afraid more loved pets will die before I see them again.

That's the problem. I'm afraid.
Why did you repeat this so many times?

If I were you I would recommend speaking with a professional about these problems. If you are in k-12 you should consider speaking with your school counselor. They are trained to help you through the emotions are you feeling. Or if you would feel more comfortable maybe talk with your favorite teacher about it. My best friend is a teacher, and students come to get all the time to talk about their lives. If you are in college there are amazing resources available to you at student heath centers.

The mom of: Too many to list now.
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post #6 of 47 (permalink) Old 06-05-2013, 10:21 AM Thread Starter
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Thanks guys...and starfish1, I never though of that. I think I will try that. It's really nice knowing that theres people out there who care no matter what. You guys made my day.

I either talk to my fish when I'm mad, or I'm mad because I talk to my fish.
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post #7 of 47 (permalink) Old 06-05-2013, 10:21 AM Thread Starter
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And I don't know why it repeated so many times. It's kinda weird.

I either talk to my fish when I'm mad, or I'm mad because I talk to my fish.
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post #8 of 47 (permalink) Old 06-05-2013, 10:23 AM Thread Starter
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I'm considering doing therapy, but for my situation is really difficult to find someone who can.

I either talk to my fish when I'm mad, or I'm mad because I talk to my fish.
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post #9 of 47 (permalink) Old 06-05-2013, 10:48 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by alwaysaBettaLover View Post
I'm considering doing therapy, but for my situation is really difficult to find someone who can.
As Neptuensmom suggested, start in school. My daughter is 15 and I always advise her to find an adult she trusts to talk to if she doesn't feel she can talk to me. My daughter went the route of talking to her favorite teacher this year. That teacher then took her to the counselors and found her someone more able to help to talk to. Her counselor called me. They did not go into any detail as to what had been talked about, but was glad to find out I was aware of the situation (just not how bad things had gotten for her) and they helped me find therapy for my baby girl.

If you know where to look that help is there for you, you just have to reach out and ask. I know that sometimes even that can be hard to do, but it's the best advice I can offer. I'm glad to know that we were at least able to help you realize that you are cared for and are not alone. Sometime even that can be enough.

Dream Bettas: Pure white HM or VT (for my daughter), new 'spikey' fish (CT for my son), blue & orange betta male (for my fiance), and more live plants (for my bettas )


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post #10 of 47 (permalink) Old 06-05-2013, 10:58 AM
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I feel so bad for you. I talk with my teacher with some of my problems and it really helps.
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