Power Wolves - A soon to be published story! - Betta Fish and Betta Fish Care
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post #1 of 24 (permalink) Old 06-10-2013, 03:57 PM Thread Starter
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Post Power Wolves - A soon to be published story!

Hiya. I've been working on a story for a while now- it's called Power Wolves. I've put it on this forum once, but I'm guessing most of you didn't view it. Now, I'll post it up again with what I've got so far. it's a rough copy, and the chapters are short (DON'T tell me to resize them, countless people have told me to, and I'm getting a little annoyed.) but altogether, the story is HUGE. and also, please comment if you think there should be blood in the story or not. (PS. the words that seem to be someone saying something, but don't have any "" wrapped around them are thoughts. they are supposed to be italic but it didn't come through. Same thing applies for noises.)

Chapter 1

One day, I was taking a walk in the woods with my good friend Snowflake. The forest is dark and… creepy!” Snowflake said. “you don’t wanna keep exploring?” I replied, with a hint of sadness in my voice. “well… I do but I’m just a little scared of a dark, eerie forest. Next time, I’m choosing where to explore!” Snowflake exclaimed. I sighed. I guess I could fly Snowflake back… “hold on tight, Snowflake!” I picked my friend up by her paw and unfurled my colorful, vibrant wings. I tried to fly with Snowflake grasping onto my paw, but soon, her paws started to slip. “Snowflake doesn’t know I’m a lynx-wolf hybrid (but mostly lynx).” I whispered to myself “and that means she doesn’t know I have CLAWS!” Just at the last second, when Snowflake was about to escape my grip, I unsheathed my tiny, thorn sharp claws and flung her up into the air. She screamed, but I grabbed her by her paw and we held on tightly. When we landed, Snowflake was slightly trembling. “anything wrong, Snowflake?” I asked, concerned. “YES! YOU COULD HAVE DROPPED ME IN THE AIR WHEN YOU FLUNG ME!” She yelled, fear turning to fury. Whoa… I thought. Calm down… My friend stomped away with anger in her eyes. I sighed. Why doesn’t anyone respect me anymore?

Chapter 2

I summoned my wolf pets, Leafy and Gold, to come and try to cheer me up. Leafy was a gray-ish wolf who was small but fierce. Gold was a golden wolf; he was Leafy’s size and also very fierce. Leafy, Gold and I were all fierce. SUPER FIERCE! “Heya, Little!” Leafy exclaimed, surprising me a little. I giggled a bit. “Little! Little! Littlelittlelittle!” Leafy yelled. I laughed a little more and asked: “what is it?” “Turn into a wolf using your psychic!” I laughed once again and turned myself into a red-furred wolf. I still had my other powers, though. I also liked the fiery red color of a red furred wolf! Red was my favourite color! It symbolized fire, my favourite power I had. We walked for a while until… WHOOSH! A portal sucked Gold, Leafy and I into a different world, a different place... We were banged up pretty bad and soon, our worlds went black… ALL 3 of us had been knocked out.

Chapter 3

“Wake up!” I heard a strange voice. “Come on, wake up!” I opened my eyes to see wolves of many different colors. One red furred wolf was looking down at me. “Oh, good! You’re awake!” He exclaimed. I wanted to scream but I held my tongue. I rose to my paws. I looked up at them and also saw I was still what a transformed into. I glanced around at the different colored wolves. Some wolves with icy blue fur, some with shadowy black fur… some wolves with even yellow AND black fur…some wolves fiery red… and some lush green furred wolves. Am I imagining this, or am I in a world with wolves of a different kind? “Are you lost, little pup?” the red wolf asked. “N-no…” I stammered. “So… what’s your name? Mine’s Firefox!” Firefox? But he’s a WOLF! “I’m… uh… Furflame…” I said, a little jumpy. A tall, black wolf came up to me. “My name’s Shadowstorm!” said the black wolf. Next, an icy blue wolf came up to me. “I’m Iceflare! Pleasure to meet you!” said the icy blue wolf. The other wolves didn’t say their names. “So…” said Firefox. “you look like a FireWolf. You’ll be joining my pack, Firepack! Now, I’ll tell you the rules of this place and you’ll have to pass a test in order to join the pack. Don’t worry, though. The test is SUPER easy!” yelled Firefox enthusiastically.

Chapter 4

We walked into a forest clearing and there were MANY other fire wolves! Wow…it’s beautiful here! I ran into the forest, excited. But just then, an important thought flew into my mind. Where are Leafy and Gold?! I wandered around the camp for a few minutes, until… “Heya, Furflame!” Firefox had snuck up on me. I yelped and said “Hi, Firefox!” in response. “I realized I haven’t taught you the ways of the Power Wolves!” he exclaimed. He took me to his little “den” and we had a little chat. I got bored quickly, but he said important stuff. Such as: “So, in battles with other power wolves, you have to think quickly and give it everything you got! We FireWolves have a fire in our bellies that never goes out!” Firefox had finished his little talk with me, but I felt there was MORE I needed to know… but the question was “did I really?”

Chapter 5

Just as I was about to exit Firefox’s den, he leaped in front of me and said: “Test time, Furflame!” I sighed. Firefox was a little overhyper. It’s like he ate 20 pounds of SUGAR! “Follow me, Furflame!!” Firefox said, dashing out of his den. I followed Firefox into a forest clearing, somewhat far from the Firepack camp. “Okay. Here’s where the test takes place.” Firefox said, in his normal, calm voice. I wonder what I do? “Furflame, shoot fire from your paws, then fly in a fullmoon circle.” I wondered what a fullmoon circle was, but I just took it as a really big circle. I looked down at my paws and shot a small flame from them. They made me hover… slightly. I enjoyed it. Suddenly then, I made a huge flame and I flew up into the air. I flew in a fullmoon circle, then landed beside Firefox. “Good job! Now sing an ROCK SONG!!” Firefox yelled, loud enough for all the packs to hear. I burst into laughter. “Just kidding!” Firefox laughed. “You’ve passed the test!”

Chapter 6

I yawned. “Firefox, I feel like I’m going to fall asleep for a month…” I said wearily. “Month?” he wondered. “I have heard that word before from twowalkers… I think it means a sun.” he said. “wait, wait, wait. What’s a twowalker?” I asked curiously. “I’ll show you.” Firefox said, leaping into the greens of the forest. He peered over the edge of a tree. I did the same and saw something I have only heard of in stories… Humans! I suppose the name twowalker is a good name for a human… I thought to myself. So later, Firefox took me to his den and explained some words he had heard from twowalkers. “a month is a sun, a twowalker is a human, a wolf without powers is a Nopowers. I’ll tell the rest to you later.” I left Firefox’s den and went to rest outside.

Chapter 7

I lay down, wondering where Leafy and Gold were. I lay down until I slept. When I woke up, I was in the rain, my fur as wet as an ocean. I looked around and saw I was in a different place. I panicked for a bit, but then I remembered I was in the world of the Power Wolves. By then, I guessed it was sunset, because I could see little bits of orange light seeping through the gaps in the dark clouds. I rose to my paws and went off to Firefox’s den; it was draped with a stream of leaves. it looked a bit like a torn curtain, but cut evenly. I padded into the den. “Firefox, you here?” I looked around the empty den and soon padded off to other places of the camp. Suddenly, a bright orange wolf leapt onto my back. “Hi Furflame!” the wolf exclaimed. “Who are you?” I asked. The bright orange wolf leapt off my back, slightly scratching it. “I’m Redflare.” He said, speeding over his words.

Chapter 8

“N-nice to meet you…” I said nervously. I was shy with new people. “Nice to meet you too!” Redflare exclaimed, more slowly than his introduction. “The rest of the camp is hunting. I’m just guarding for a while. I was waiting for you to wake up so we could catch up with the rest of the pack.” He said. “Let’s go to the rest of the pack now!” We leapt into action. We ran through the forest and finally found Firepack again. “Firefox!” I called out to Firefox; he was leading the small pack at the front. “Okay, Firepack, let’s hunt!” Firefox howled. Some of the wolves went into groups, very few went alone. I chose to go alone. I sniffed the air, looking for prey hiding in the bushes. I padded off into another section in the forest. Suddenly, I heard a rustling in the bushes. Suddenly a wolf leapt out of the bushes. The wolf was red with orange shapes that resembled flames. “This is my territory, get out!” The wolf growled. “No, this is Firepack’s territory!” I snapped back

Chapter 9

“I’ll fight if I have to…” The wolf snarled. I felt mad when someone didn’t follow my commands. Suddenly then, the strange wolf sent a blast of fire at me. I opened up my mouth and shot fire at the wolf’s fire, sending it back at her. “My name’s Blayze…” the wolf said. “and you do NOT mess with me!” Blayze leapt onto me and pinned me by the shoulders. She opened her mouth wide and breathed in deep. While she was taking her breath, I blew fire directly into her mouth, forcing it into her lungs. Blayze didn’t scream or howl in pain, but instead grinned. She forced my mouth open with her paws and then WHOOSH!! Blayze blasted a stream of fire into my mouth, but since I wasn’t breathing in, the fire was forced into my stomach instead. Blayze shot the fire into my mouth long and hard. I wanted to shoot fire back at Blayze, but something wouldn’t let me...

Chapter 10

Finally, when she was out of breath, she let go of me and we both stood up about an inch away from each other, panting. I felt infuriated, yet weak. But then, I blacked out. The last thing I saw was Blayze collapsing onto the grass with me, as well as Redflare approaching. Next thing I knew, I was in Firefox’s den with Blayze by my side. Firefox was watching over Blayze, Redflare was looking over me. When we both woke up completely, Firefox and Redflare brought us some strange looking leaves. The leaves were in the shape of a heart and had a twisted stem sort of thing. “Eat this.” Redflare explained. “It’s a LifeLeaf; it helps to heal wounds and sickness.” I stared at the LifeLeaf. Blayze ate hers and soon, her body began glowing red and orange. When the glow subsided, Blayze was back to her normal state. “Blayze. I’m going to invite you to Firepack.” Firefox said sternly. “I’ll make an announcement soon.” I couldn’t pull myself together to eat the LifeLeaf. My stomach felt like it was on fire from Blayze’s strong “Fireswallow” attack. “Why aren’t you eating the LifeLeaf, Furflame?” Redflare asked with a tone of concern in his voice. At first, I hesitated to speak, but then I ate the LifeLeaf. The same thing happened to me as it did to Blayze. But the burning didn’t feel any better. I wondered if this was going to be a scar and why I couldn’t feel fire before this whole “being sucked into the portal” thing. I sighed. Are things ever going to return to normal…?

Chapter 11

Blayze and I padded out of Firefox’s den together. “Hey, Blayze, sorry for attacking you. Wanna be friends?” I asked. “Sure, What’s your name?” Blayze replied. “Furflame.” I said. Just then, Firefox leapt onto a big, gray rock and howled: “All wolves gather under the GrayRock for a meeting!!” Blayze and I padded off to the GrayRock where Firefox was standing and sat together. “ Firepack, we are here to welcome a new wolf and… see if she shall join our pack! Blayze, come up.” I watched Blayze leap onto the GrayRock majestically. “Blayze, will you promise all of us here today to be loyal to Firepack?” Firefox sternly said. “Yes. I do.” Blayze replied with a tone of excitement in her voice. “Then so, this wolf shall be known as-““WAIT!” Blayze interrupted. “What is it?” Firefox asked, with a hint of agitation in his voice. “I like my name. I think it suits me. Is it okay if I keep it?” Blayze replied, looking down at his paws. “Very well then. From this day on, Firepack shall know you as Blayze!” Everyone shot flames into the air. I also tried to, but the only thing that came out was a sickly black smoke. The burning in my stomach was more painful than ever. The smoke swirled around and soon disappeared.

Chapter 12

Everyone turned their heads to look at me. I felt awkward in this situation. I took a breath and blew into the air, letting out more smoke. Redflare stepped up into the front and looked down at me with a look of despair in his eyes. “Oh Furflame…” he began. “Why didn’t you tell anyone the LifeLeaf didn’t work?” He turned tail. And, soon, everyone made their ways back to their duties. Blayze came up to me, giving me a toothy smile. “Furflame.” She whispered. “Come, we’re sneaking out of camp. I need to show you something!” My ears perked up. I loved secrets. They were like an exciting part of a movie! The action part! I ran alongside Blayze into another forest clearing. “Okay, Furflame. You gotta watch this cool trick!” Blayze exclaimed. She burst into flames, then changed into the form of a lynx. When she turned into a lynx, she forced herself to burst into flames again and turned back into herself. “Cool trick!” I said. I wonder if I can still do it… in this world! Soon, I dismissed the question out of my mind. Right after that, I heard a voice behind Blayze and I… Someone had spotted us!

~I will continue it on another post.~

That photo is resized. It says: "My past does not define me. My strength is an illusion. My calm hides a storm. My innocence is not ignorance.

Last edited by Little Leaf; 06-10-2013 at 04:01 PM.
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post #2 of 24 (permalink) Old 06-10-2013, 03:58 PM Thread Starter
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Chapter 13

Blayze and I turned around in a heartbeat. “Well, well, well. A couple of mulipowered wolves! Firepack doesn’t allow these traitors in our camp!” The wolf spat. Uh oh…We’re in big trouble! I examined the wolf a little closer. It was… Redflare!! “You two just wait until Firefox hears about this!” Redflare growled. He took us to Firefox’s den. “Firefox! We have traitors in the pack!” He snarled, glaring at me. “Furflame and Blayze?” Firefox questioned. “Redflare. How are these two traitors?” I sighed. This has happened a lot, in my world. “They’re multipowered!!” Redflare growled loudly, his voice echoed through Firefox’s den. “Out!” Firefox suddenly exclaimed. “From now on, you guys are exiled. But first, you’ll be forced to eat pieces of siddenfood!” “Wait, wait, wait!” I said, speeding over my words. “What is it?” Firefox snapped back “What is siddenfood?” I asked. “It’s rotten food…” he said, feeling raged. Me? Blayze? Forced to eat siddenfood!?

Chapter 14

Firefox and Redflare took us to a place filled with tons of compost and carrion… “Here’s what we call the Traitorfoodplace!” Redflare said with a tone of anger in his voice. “Or as in your fake little world, the dump!” Firefox continued, still filled with rage to the brim. Firefox and Redflare grabbed us 5 pieces of siddenfood. “And since you lied to me about your world, Furflame, you get the rest of the siddenfood!!” Firefox yelled. Thankfully, they only found 5 more pieces of siddenfood… 10 pieces of siddenfood was a lot for me… Blayze began to eat and swallow her pieces of siddenfood pretty fast, possibly to avoid the taste. I just ate normally, as if I was eating my favourite food, but the siddenfood tasted terrible! Bleh… I thought. All this siddenfood tastes like… garbage! As I ate my last piece, I felt nauseous and wanted to howl for help. But again, I held my tongue. “Furflame.” Firefox padded toward me, with a dead, rotting squirrel dangling from his jaws. I swung my head over to him. He pinned me down onto the ground and forced my mouth open. Then, he dropped the piece of siddenfood into my mouth and blew fire, sending the siddenfood sliding down my throat. It made me wince and cringe a little. I felt upset even more now. It was as if everyone hated me in this new world… Why can’t I go back? I thought grimly. Everyone hates me here, there’s no need to be here at all!

Chapter 15

Blayze and I walked out of the Traitorfoodplace. I looked down at my front paws. “So… we’ve been exiled…” I sighed sombrely. “Yup…” Blayze replied, sounding terribly depressed. Blayze always seems to want to take the stage. To be the center of attention. I didn’t want to think about not being noticed so I took my mind off it and started thinking about how I will get back to my own world. If I get to the place where the portal dropped me off, then maybe there’s another portal that will help me get home… “Furflame?” Blayze and I shot quick glances at each other. “Yes? What is it?” I replied. “H-how will we ever survive alone?” She softly spoke, tears in her eyes. “We’ll just have to push our way through it…” I looked up at the sky and sent up a howl of hope… that Blayze would stop causing drama! Blayze, you’re getting on my nerves! Please stop with these little… attention tricks! I sighed. I kept trying to get Blayze out of my mind, but how could I? We were right beside each other!

Chapter 16

“Furflame. Let’s talk about… our life!” Blayze excitedly exclaimed. I could tell she was trying to take her mind off of the whole “We are exiled, we may die” thing. “Okay.” I sat down and faced Blayze, also sitting down. “Wait. I have a question first.” Blayze’s voice was suddenly more in a questioning tone rather than her jumpy, excited voice. “Sure! What is it?” I really liked answering questions. I liked telling everyone more about everything I knew, but I could also be secretive at times. “Do you come from somewhere else, or were you born here? You keep asking what certain words mean…” Blayze suddenly looked uncomfortably, as if I had some sort of magic power or something. “Well…” I hesitated for a few seconds. “Yes!” I admitted. “My real name is Little, not Furflame, I have more than 1 power, I am not really a wolf, I transformed into one, I have 2 wolf pets, I really DO come from a different world! I don’t know how to get back!” I suddenly blurted out everything, but I felt relieved, as if I had started breathing again after holding my breath for a long time. Blayze’s eyes widened and she gasped. “N-nice to meet the true you…” She smiled and shook my paw. “You don’t know the true me…” I looked down, what I just said was half true. Almost no one knows the true me, except for my friends I known for nearly my whole life… I missed them a whole lot. The sadness felt like a whole load of stones was weighed onto my shoulders. “Well… I heard there is another way to get back to your own world, though, it has risks…”

Chapter 17

“Risks?” My pelt prickled. “What kind of risks?” I would do almost anything to go back to my friends and my world. But if it was TOO risky, I couldn’t afford it “Well… we need to find a portal that opens instantly, we call them Portalinstants.” Blayze started. Doesn’t sound too risky from this point, maybe I could do this. “What’s next?” I was curious to find out what the risk was. “Well, you jump into the portal, but things that were sucked into the portal become free, but if one escapes from there, they all will escape and…” Blayze swallowed hesitantly. “What? What is it?” I wanted to hear more. I wanted to see if it was a risk worth taking. “if they all escape, then your world will be destroyed…” Blayze shot a sympathetic glance at me, which seemed to mean “Don’t be afraid. It’s all going to be ok” I gasped, I didn’t want my world to be destroyed. I decided not to take this risk, but still wanted to hear the whole story. “And then a door will appear. You will need a password. You only have 1 chance… If you get the wrong password, you’re dead.” Blayze continued. “What happens if it’s the right password?” I was still wondering what would happen in this little story. “Well… the door would open up… and lead to another portal” Blayze said somewhat calmly. “Where does it lead?” I questioned. “It leads to where you went from the first portal, leaving you stuck in this world forever…”

Chapter 18

I can’t take this risk… but there must be another way home… I took a deep breath. I’ve just got to be patient… Patience is the key… Blayze and I have been talking for so long that it was midnight by the time we finished. I looked up at the star splattered sky and stared there for a long time, there was a sentence repeating in my head. It was spoken by different voices that sounded like all my friends’… Patience is the key… Suddenly, Blayze finally spoke up and said: “It’s getting late… Let’s go to sleep. We’ll awaken tomorrow and catch tons of prey.” I lay down onto the grass under the dark, blue, starry sky. The voices kept repeating in my head. Patience is the key… I felt tired, but unable to sleep. Patience is the key… A few minutes later, I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep. A dark, dreamless sleep…

Chapter 19

I awoke in a sunless sky. It seemed to be a little too early to awaken, but I had to catch some prey for Blayze and me. I haven’t eaten in 2 days, I arrived in this world 2 days ago, so that means I haven’t ate since I arrived. I rose to my paws. They were slightly shaking from my hunger. I padded into a nearby clearing and sniffed around. I smelled a squirrel nearby and decided to catch it. I dropped into a crouch like I saw others do and stalked it. When I had gotten close enough to it, I gathered all my power into my hinds and pounced. The squirrel struggled to get away, but I wouldn’t let it go. I dug my thorn sharp claws into the squirrel’s neck, killing it. I sighed. I don’t kill animals… any kind of animal… even though I am an animal myself, I just don’t want to do it, even if my friends do it, too! But if I want to see the daylight, I have to! I scratched dirt over my squirrel to make sure no one else would take it, and then padded off to hunt some more prey. I only caught another squirrel, and an elk as my catch. I was pretty sure their deaths were all painful, but I needed them…

Chapter 20

I carried the carcasses into our little base-camp. Blayze had gone, so I assumed she has either gone looking for me, or gone hunting. I put all the prey onto a pile, when Blayze came back with a caribou and a mouse. She dropped them onto the pile and picked out one of my squirrels. I picked out the caribou that Blayze caught. It looked pretty inviting… I dragged it out of the pile and sat down beside it. I stared at it for a while until Blayze asked me: “Haven’t you have caribou before?” I shook my head as a response. “Try it, it’s good.” Blayze said, munching on the squirrel. I took a bite of the caribou. She was right, it is pretty good… I finished half of the caribou until… WHOOSH! Blayze shot a stream of fire at it. I shot an annoyed glance at Blayze. Thanks a lot, Blayze. Is this edible? I thought irritably. “Eat it while it’s burnt!” Blayze suggested. “It tastes better that way.” I flattened my ears and took a bite of the burnt part. It was surprisingly tasty. Suddenly, Blayze and I heard a loud scream coming from the clearing, where I had caught my elk.

Chapter 21

Blayze and I ran in the direction where the bloodcurdling scream had come from, and we found a limp, black shape lying motionless on the bloodstained grass. “Oh my!” Blayze screamed. We moved closer to the black shape. “It’s a… a wolf pup…” I said, shock surging through me. Blayze’s eyes widened. “Let’s take it back to our camp, it must have passed out from something” Blayze exclaimed. I picked up the wolf pup and ran to camp immediately, with Blayze on my tail, picking up moss along the way. When Blayze and I got there, Blayze set down the moss in a nest-like shape. I was assuming she had made a bed for the pup. “Blayze, please go get something to cure the wolf pup of its injuries.” I asked politely. “Yes, O healer wolf!” Blayze joked as she padded off. Suddenly, I heard a gasp. I turned around and saw the black wolf pup had opened its eyes and was gasping. The gasps sounded pretty masculine, so I was guessing the wolf pup was a boy. “Scary wolves!!” The wolf pup exclaimed. Suddenly, the wolf pup looked surprised, as if a stab of pain had surged through him. The wolf let out a squeaky howl “Owww! My paw!” The wolf pup grasped his right paw with his left as he lay down. I padded over to him. “It’s okay. You’re fine now.” I patted the wolf pup gently.

Chapter 22

“Don’t hurt me or my paw!” The wolf pup exclaimed, clasping his good paw over his injured one. That’s when I noticed he only had 3 toes on his good paw, which was his left. H-he seems deformed… a little… I thought nervously. I didn’t want to offend the wolf pup. That’s when Blayze popped up behind me. “BOO!” She yelled. I swiftly turned around in alarm and then sent a blast of fire at Blayze. “What was that for?!” Blayze snarled. “Let’s just say this: Do not startle ME” I replied, laughing mischievously in between words. Blayze walked over to the scared little pup and pressed her nose onto the pup’s forehead. “That’s a signal of friendship, Little.” Blayze explained. “You do it, too!” I walked closer to the pup and also pressed my nose onto his forehead. I looked around for a while until I heard from Blayze. “Oh…” She softly whispered. “It’s a bayser…” I flicked my paw somewhat uncontrollably a few times. Blayze padded up to me. “Bayser means a deformed wolf or pup.” She whispered softly in my ear. “So, what’s your name, little pup?” I asked politely. “Blade!” The wolf pup proudly declared his name. “My name is Blade!”

Chapter 23

“Blade! It’s a great name!” Blayze and I complimented simultaneously, with the exact same words. I flicked my paw again, just like last time, except with control. Blayze yawned. “Hey, Little… I’m feeling tired, do you think we should take a nap?” Blayze asked, with a tired glimmer in her eyes. “Sure… I’m tired as well, so a nap sounds good…” I lay down onto a soft patch of grass. “Blade, stay here. If you want food, take some. Don’t go off too far, and wake one of us if something happens…” I yawned. I closed my eyes and let sleep seep into my body. Suddenly, I was in a colorful void with starry versions of my friends, and I was what I was before I had transformed, a lynx-wolf hybrid. Now, One of my friends was Eclipse, a black hybrid of my type that was very knowledgeable. She came up to me and said: “Little, you have more than 1 life in the current world you’re in. You are using your first… in total you have six… once your sixth life has passed in that world, you will return to us… but remember… this is all just a test…” She said, in a calm, soothing voice. Soon, my friends started to disappear, and the sound of heartbeats seemed to replace their voices. Th-thump… Th-thump…

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Posts: 964
Chapter 24

I awoke with a jolt. Oh, just a dream… I looked up into the mesmerizing, orange-pink sky; the sun was being swallowed up by the earth below. Sunset. It’s sunset. I rose to my paws and stretched. Blayze and Blade had both gone off. I was guessing Blade wanted to stretch his legs and go for a walk with Blayze. I padded to where our food supply was- or at least before someone had eaten all the food. “What?!” I gasped. “Who ate all the food?” I sniffed the air… and found Blayze’s and Blade’s scents where the food pile was supposed to be. “Was it one of them? Did one of them take the food?” I questioned. Since there was no food, I decided to hunt. Our group needed to keep our food supply up, our group had to survive! So I padded off into the forest, still wondering who took all the food. Alright… Whoever took the food… I’m going to totally sue them… I thought angrily. Without thinking, I walked into Firepack’s territory, forgetting about all the scent marks they’ve left… I walked into the place where I fought with Blayze for the first time, and sniffed the air. I smelled some caribou nearby. I followed the scent into unknown territory, where the caribou were. I found a few that were limping. Quickly, I ran up to one and bit it skillfully, also letting out a stream of fire. As I did that, the caribou I bit quickly fell to the ground and started to writhe in agony, as if had been poisoned with venom. I felt a bit sorry for it. After a while, the caribou had died, but I felt strangely tired.. I dragged it back to our base camp. Blayze and Blade had both returned. “Hiya, Little!” Blayze barked happily. “Hi Blayze.” I dropped the caribou and smiled. “Do you know who took the food?” I asked curiously.

Chapter 25

Blayze sighed. “No, but I caught some more prey.” The red wolf smiled. “I have too. I caught only a caribou, though.” I smiled back at my friend. Blade soon came to Blayze and I. “Can we eat now?” The black wolf pup whimpered. “I want food…” Blade stood up on his hinds and started jumping. I guessed it was a gesture wolf pups used when they wanted food. “Alright, alright.” I laughed. “I suppose we could settle down for a while.” Blayze continued. Each one of us sat down and picked something from the food pile. Blade picked the caribou I caught, I chose an elk from the pile, and Blade chose a mouse from the pile. We all sat together and ate our food in hungry bites. But we were soon interrupted when a snarl came from behind Blade… Why do the weirdest things happen when Blayze and I eat? I sighed and swung my head to look behind Blade. To my surprise, it was a shadow wolf… “Hand over the pup…” The black and gray shadow wolf growled. “Why? What are you planning to do to him?” I got up and curled my lips in a fierce, intimidating snarl. “Oh, nothing much…” The wolf narrowed its eyes and shot an intimidating glance at Blade and I. Suddenly, before I could say anything, the shadow wolf picked up Blade and flung him headfirst into a nearby tree. “Stop that, you… you monster!” Blayze growled. The shadow wolf ignored us completely and shot a beam of darkness at Blade. Blade howled and screamed in agony. “Blade!” I screamed. Blade didn’t respond. Is he unconscious? I hurled myself toward the shadow wolf, but soon, everything went black, I didn’t feel any attacks or pain, but I felt as if I was being controlled…

Chapter 26

As soon as I came to my senses, Blayze ran up to me. “Little! That was awesome! You pulled off some AMAZING moves!” She howled in glee. I gave a small nod as a show of thanks, although I had no idea what she was talking about, then asked: “How’s Blade doing?” “Blade? Not too well… he hasn’t woken up yet.” Blayze whimpered worriedly. “I… hope he wakes up soon…” I said, quickly looking at Blade. I felt a pang of empathy for Blade. I have also been attacked many times, but I have never been injured to that point where I pass out… I sighed and made my way toward the unconscious Blade. As I took my first pawstep toward him, I start to feel dizzy… as I took another pawstep, the dizziness got worse, and the pain radiated through my whole body. I took another pawstep, and everything went black. In the blackness, a flash of white came up and I had a blurry vision of what seemed to be a yellow blackish wolf pup screaming in agony, then dying painfully, without anything to ease it’s suffering. After seeing that, the flash of white disappeared into darkness. Next, the darkness cleared up, and my sight returned to normal, and so did my body. My pain and dizziness was gone, but I felt mysteriously weak. Maybe that vision has taken a lot of my energy out… But still, what was that vision? “Blayze?” I called out. Blayze dashed toward me. “What is it, Little?” Blayze replied. I looked around, unsure. Should I tell Blayze about my vision? I gathered up my courage to tell my loyal friend about the vision I had. “I… I had a vision when I walked toward Blade…” I started. “I think it was a yellow blackish wolf pup… it looked like… like…” I hesitated. “What? What?” Blayze urged. “Blade…” I concluded.

Chapter 27

“Maybe it was just a daydream…?” Blayze guessed. “No…” I protested. “It couldn’t have been… I could see it, though it was blurry.” I shot a glance at Blade. Wait a second…Blade looks normal from far away… but what if he’s that yellow blackish wolf pup? I bolted toward Blade in a heartbeat and looked closely at the wolf pup. On some parts of his body was his fur turning yellow. “Blayze!” I called out to my friend. Blayze dashed to my side. “What is it, Little?” Blayze contested. “Blade… some of his fur is turning… yellow…” I shuffled my paws in the dirt nervously. Blayze took a close look at Blade. “Come with me…” Blayze said knowingly. Blayze took me to a nearby tree, out of Blade’s earshot. “Listen, Little… I think Blade might have… have…” My friend winced as she said each word. “What?” I nervously urged. “Syhtetewele Syndrome!” Blayze concluded. “See...th...eh… what?” I stammered. “Seeh-tet-well Syn-drome” Blayze specified. “So, why do you find it so alarming?” I questioned curiously. Blayze suddenly started trembling in nervousness and fear. “W-well… if a wolf or w-wolf pup gets attacked… harshly… there’s a c-chance t-t-they might get Syhtetewele s-syndrome…” Blayze started, in a shaky, tense voice. “a-and if they fall into a c-coma after getting the harsh physical t-tr-treatment… there’s a chance that… they could g-get… Syhtetewele syndrome…” Blayze continued. Blayze took a deep breath and stopped shaking and stuttering. “What happens during Syhtetewele… well, after the victim wakes up from his or her coma, then their fur will be a different color, one eye will change into a fully different color, and the eye that turned into a different color will go all blind and… this disease is fatal… there isn’t any cure that anyone knows of, so all the victims of Syhtetewele syndrome always die… They always die a painful death…” Blayze concluded. “You can stop if you want to. You don’t need to give me anymore info…” I shuffled my paws with unease.

Chapter 28

Syhtetewele syndrome… Might Blade have it? I pondered. If Blade had Syhtetewele Syndrome, it would mean certain death for him. Certain, painful, agonizing death… I went up to Blayze. “Blayze…” I commenced talking. “Blade… h-he’s too young to die… he’s only a pup…” Tears started to well up in my eyes. The thought of a pup dying in a agonizing, torturous death was just too much for me to handle. I shook away the tears. No! I have to be strong! I can pull through! The words burst into my mind encouragingly. “Blayze, wanna hunt?” I asked, trying to get off the topic of Blade’s soon to come death. “I love hunting!” Blayze and I exclaimed together. It was true, even if I didn’t like hunting at first, it became kind of a hobby as I did it a bit more. “But shouldn’t we leave Blade in a safer place? That shadow wolf might try to take him again…” I said worriedly. “He looks like he’s dead already, no offence. I’m pretty sure no one will try to kill him…” Blayze replied. I shot a glance at Blade. Blayze was right… Blade’s flank looked still, but when you looked closely, you could see it actually was moving. “Alright…” I agreed unsurely. “Let’s go.” Blayze smiled. And so, Blayze and I went off to a deeper part of the forest. “Okay. We’re at a good hunting area.” Blayze confirmed.

Chapter 29

Just as I was about to take my first pawstep into the hunt, it happened again- Dizziness swirled around me. Blayze was staring at me, concerned. “Little! Are you ok?” Blayze asked. “I-I’m fine…” I replied weakly. I took another pawstep. The dizziness swirled around faster, and pain stabbed at my chest. I nearly collapsed with pain and crouched down to the ground. “Little!” Blayze exclaimed. Then, the vision began. Darkness invaded my sight. Then came a flash of white, signaling the start of my vision. The vision was blurry, but it seemed like that same yellow wolf pup, but this time, it was with a wolf… a black wolf, like the one that attacked Blade. Then, the vision turned into white, and that white disappeared into black. After that, the darkness gave way to my sight. “Little? Are you ok?” Blayze asked worriedly. “I’m fine… but my chest hurts…” I replied. “What was ailing you anyway?” Blayze wondered. “I-it was kinda like a dream… but, it’s more of a vision than a dream…” I struggled to find the right words. “A vision!? You had a vision?!” Blayze’s eyes widened in amazement. “Y-yup… b-but it always causes me a great deal of pain…” I said weakly, pain clawing at my chest. “Let’s go hunt now!” Blayze exclaimed, jumping off topic.

~And that's all I got so far! ~

(PS. Blayze isn't a typo, I wanted it to be spelled like that.)

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post #4 of 24 (permalink) Old 06-10-2013, 05:45 PM Thread Starter
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Umm... anyone? I worked REALLY hard on this...

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post #5 of 24 (permalink) Old 06-11-2013, 08:12 AM
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People may keep telling you to resize your "chapters" because they are only paragraphs. You might do better to eliminate the chapter heading and do one single short story, as opposed to broken up. Also you can't post a story, ask people to critique, and then get annoyed with the critique.

Last edited by Freyja; 06-11-2013 at 08:15 AM.
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post #6 of 24 (permalink) Old 06-11-2013, 08:18 AM
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Also, aside from some confusing placements of quotation marks I think you did an amazing job! You're ten years old? (Or somewhere around there?) That's a good vocabulary you have there and cohesion. I'm impressed LL, keep it up :)

*I agree with the paragraph/short story pregression suggested by Freyja. A chapter really is pages long and contains dialogue and multiple paragraphs. A paragraph is a collection of sentences and small dialogue/thoughts which surround one idea. (If that makes sense)

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post #7 of 24 (permalink) Old 06-11-2013, 03:18 PM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by Laki View Post
Also, aside from some confusing placements of quotation marks I think you did an amazing job! You're ten years old? (Or somewhere around there?) That's a good vocabulary you have there and cohesion. I'm impressed LL, keep it up :)

*I agree with the paragraph/short story pregression suggested by Freyja. A chapter really is pages long and contains dialogue and multiple paragraphs. A paragraph is a collection of sentences and small dialogue/thoughts which surround one idea. (If that makes sense)
Thank you and I have no idea what cohesion is! also, I already said it was a rough copy, so I am going to merge the paragraphs to chapters in my edit when I fully complete the story.

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post #8 of 24 (permalink) Old 06-11-2013, 03:29 PM Thread Starter
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...So, should there be blood in Power Wolves? Your options are:



Maybe (Unsure)

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post #9 of 24 (permalink) Old 06-11-2013, 07:33 PM
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My answer is Maybe (Unsure).

I really like it Littleleaf! You really have a talent for writing!

Hi guys, you've probably noticed I'm not on as much. The reason for that is the fact that I'm so much busier than I was last year. Also, I'm in the school play for once. (Squee!) So, I probably will be popping around everyone once in while anyway. But, until then- toodles!
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post #10 of 24 (permalink) Old 06-12-2013, 03:52 PM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by Happyhobbit View Post
My answer is Maybe (Unsure).

I really like it Littleleaf! You really have a talent for writing!

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food!! , powers , thanks! , wolves

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