Any asexuals on the forum? - Page 10 - Betta Fish and Betta Fish Care
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post #91 of 199 (permalink) Old 11-20-2013, 06:37 PM
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Same thing in the social chain in school. If one of the pops hasn't had a bf/gf that person is deemed to have something wrong with them.

"To give them, however small and fragile they may be, a second chance to show their golden hearts."
Golden Hearts Rescue:
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post #92 of 199 (permalink) Old 11-20-2013, 06:38 PM
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I say just be yourself and don't worry about what other people think.
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post #93 of 199 (permalink) Old 11-20-2013, 06:55 PM
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PetMania (and everyone else), remember that sexuality is not something you can choose, decide on, or consider, nor is it a phase... If anyone here can remember choosing to be attracted to whoever (or whether or not) they are attracted to, I would be very surprised. It's just part of who you are. You can choose to remain abstinent and not have sex or date or have relationships, but that's different then asexuality.

DQ, I know a few people that have never got married or have been in a long term relationship and just decided not to get married. Nothing wrong with that.

Oli... So well written! Good for you for starting this thread and being who you are.
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post #94 of 199 (permalink) Old 11-20-2013, 06:58 PM
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I agree that one should not put too much stock in what others think of them, but what others think IS important, since most of us have to deal with people on a daily basis. That's just the way of the world. Work is a perfect example - you had better care what your boss thinks of you. . As I think someone mentioned earlier, you do have an influence in how others perceive you, something that is more important to some than others. In terms of getting things you want, that's rather important in my opinion. It's important to be true to yourself, but it's also important to be fair to yourself.

125 - BGK, chanchito cichlid, pictus cats, silver dollars, palmas bichir
125 - cichlids (severums, bolivian rams, chocolate), rainbows ( turquoise, red), loaches (angelicus, zebra, kuhli and horseface), plecos (BN, RL and clown), denison barbs, tiretrack eel, pearl gouramis, betta
90 - Congo tetras, african knife, upside down cats, spotted ctenopoma, kribensis, delhezzi bichir
2.5 - betta

Last edited by jaysee; 11-20-2013 at 07:02 PM.
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post #95 of 199 (permalink) Old 11-20-2013, 07:04 PM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by MattsBettas View Post
PetMania (and everyone else), remember that sexuality is not something you can choose, decide on, or consider, nor is it a phase... If anyone here can remember choosing to be attracted to whoever (or whether or not) they are attracted to, I would be very surprised. It's just part of who you are. You can choose to remain abstinent and not have sex or date or have relationships, but that's different then asexuality.

Yes exactly. ... it's not a choice unlike celibacy.. People seem to think it's a choice but it's really not.

From what I gathered it is something in your hormone balances in your brain.
And before someone suggests "well can't you take hormones to make yourself attracted to people?" that's about as hurtful as asking anyone to adjust their hormone levels to make them a particular orientation.

That's why I put in the whole talk about the guy I love. Loving someone but just can't have a conventional relationship with them.

From what I've gathered, it is INCREDIBLY hard for people to understand that. Even in the LGBT community.

taking a break from fish-keeping.
3 lovely male betta still keep me company.
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post #96 of 199 (permalink) Old 11-20-2013, 07:05 PM
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Well, we all have different opinions. I believe in the fact that man and woman were born to be together, and that your orientation is a choice. A friend of mine is gay but sometimes chooses to be straight and asks girls out. but I am not disrespecting your opinion.

I have nothing against those who don't share my opinion or my orientation. I just believe that they have a choice. They don't have to be straight, bi, or gay, because they have a choice.

"To give them, however small and fragile they may be, a second chance to show their golden hearts."
Golden Hearts Rescue:
http://www.bettafish.com/showthread.php?t=493601
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post #97 of 199 (permalink) Old 11-20-2013, 07:07 PM
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I don't like the labels, though. The whole, you need to find a community of others like you is totally unecessary as you should be able to get support from family and friends.
I think the reason people reach out for like-minded individuals/groups is because you get understanding.

My family still believe some day I am going to find the perfect man, settle down and have children. I have told my father countless times that I find the idea of being in a relationship with anyone repulsive and he still thinks that when I get older I will change my mind.

Well I'm turning 24 in two weeks and having never even kissed someone of the same or opposite gender, I can't really see my attitude changing any time soon.

So while my friends and family can offer support, they are never going to be able to fully understand how I feel, because they have never felt the same.

Also PetMania I would not open that particular can of worms. You are only young and it is easy to view things in black and white.


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post #98 of 199 (permalink) Old 11-20-2013, 07:13 PM
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? I am confused. How does my previous post compare to my age? I just think that you shouldn't have to be separated from others and labeled as this and that. You are a human being, not something to be labeled and thrown out. I have friends who carry different orientations at my age and they are being treated like there is something wrong with them. And those friends don't have to go to a community as they get support from family and friends.
Yeah, they can get an understanding from those who share similarities, but you can't get support from strangers rather than family and friends who truly know you.
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"To give them, however small and fragile they may be, a second chance to show their golden hearts."
Golden Hearts Rescue:
http://www.bettafish.com/showthread.php?t=493601
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post #99 of 199 (permalink) Old 11-20-2013, 07:17 PM Thread Starter
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I think what LBF meant was the whole "man and woman were born to be together" statement.

taking a break from fish-keeping.
3 lovely male betta still keep me company.
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post #100 of 199 (permalink) Old 11-20-2013, 07:17 PM
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Yes exactly. ... it's not a choice unlike celibacy.. People seem to think it's a choice but it's really not.
People don't know what they don't know. I always laugh when I hear people say such things, as if they have any clue about that of which they speak.

Petmania - I wrote that before I read your post. Nevertheless, I laughed. You are young though and your breadth of life experience is limited. You cannot understand about having a non-straight orientation any more than you can tell people about anything else you have not experienced.

125 - BGK, chanchito cichlid, pictus cats, silver dollars, palmas bichir
125 - cichlids (severums, bolivian rams, chocolate), rainbows ( turquoise, red), loaches (angelicus, zebra, kuhli and horseface), plecos (BN, RL and clown), denison barbs, tiretrack eel, pearl gouramis, betta
90 - Congo tetras, african knife, upside down cats, spotted ctenopoma, kribensis, delhezzi bichir
2.5 - betta

Last edited by jaysee; 11-20-2013 at 07:29 PM.
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