don't be ashamed to think that you love your dog more than anything. I feel the same way about my dog, she is my soulmate and my baby as if I had given birth to her myself too.
I hope your pup recovers well :( I can only imagine what you are going through right now.
maybe the doctor can give you some calming or somewhat tranquilizing pills to keep her quiet for a bit.
1 Doberman Mix: Emmy, 2 DSH Cats: Rowan & Jacob, 1 Bearded Dragon: Rainier (aka Mista Lizad Man), 1 Eastern Box Turtle: Greta, Two 5g tanks: Alchemy (Halfmoon) and Custard (Yellow VT)