I can't stand my sister's boyfriend. I just want to scream.
He's always around. During the school year, I lived near campus and came home on weekends. Guess who was always there whenever I was home? Her stupid boyfriend. If he wasn't there, I had a WTF moment. And then I couldn't get anything done on weekends. I was in a music program. A key part of my homework was practicing. But I didn't feel comfortable singing or playing the piano when he was in the house. Don't you think it's natural for me to resent someone who was in my home more than I was and who made me feel uncomfortable doing my homework when I was home? It's not like the resentment came out of nowhere! At first, I was fine. But then when he was always there and I stopped spending time with my sister because she was always with him instead, and the few times she deigned to notice me she just jabbered about him or was texting him constantly, was I supposed to embrace him with open arms?
Now that it's summer, I figured things would be better. I'm home all the time now, except for when I'm at work. So I have more time to spend with my sister. Did that matter? Nope. She's still always with her boyfriend. I can't even tell you how many times she's just blown me off to be with him. But he didn't go to college and she commuted! They were both here all year. So how is it right that I'm the one being pushed aside when she's gone months barely spending any time with me at all? And then she wonders why I feel second best and resent him!
And she ALWAYS puts him first. The day after I found out my program didn't want me coming back, did she care to see if I was okay? Nope! She brings her boyfriend to the house before I'm even up and dressed in the morning. One, he had no business being there when I was so vulnerable and upset. She may like him, but I don't trust him enough to feel comfortable around him when I'm going through an emotional crisis and bawling my eyes out. So when I make it clear that I don't want him there, does she ask him to leave and come back later? Nope. She leaves with him, leaving me all alone to curl up in a ball and cry, and then she buys a card for our dad's birthday with him instead of me. All the while, did I get so much as an "are you alright" from her all day? No, she just got mad at me for not wanting her stupid boyfriend around.
And now my parents get mad at me for feeling intruded upon and being hostile when he's always around. HEAVEN FORBID I get irritated when he's there! I've gotten lectures about how it's wrong for me to not like him because my sister really likes him and he's not a bad person, etc. Who CARES if my sister leaves me alone bawling my eyes out to go be with him? Let's just forget the fact that there was almost an entire week where I couldn't go a day without crying, and she consistently ditched me for him!
I feel like he's more at home in my house than I am! And when I mention that? Everyone tells me I'm just not the easiest person to talk to, so naturally she'd rather spend time with him than me. Does it MATTER that I'm irritable and emotional because my school decided to drop me after putting me in therapy and treating me so badly that I had to go on anxiety medication to get through final exams? NOPE! I just get yelled at for being prickly. Why should ANYONE in my family want to be there for me if I'm not making it EASY for them?
Even today, my sister comes into my bedroom as soon as I wake up to tell me that my mom invited her STUPID BOYFRIEND to our cousins' 50th birthday party and then starts snapping at me, demanding to know if I'll be hostile if he comes. WHY? He's not family. This is a FAMILY gathering! I tell her he can come so I don't get yelled at by her and my parents for not wanting him there, but that's not enough. She keeps after me, demanding if I'll be hostile, even though I said he can come. WHY? I said he can come! Do I REALLY have to LIKE it, though? And honestly? I hadn't even gotten out of bed yet. And now I'm bawling my eyes out because I feel replaced and like my feelings are being shoved aside in favor of him, and no one cares.
But, you know what? I live here. He doesn't. This is MY family. So why can't they think about ME for ONCE? The only GOOD thing about this stupid birthday party was going to be that I wouldn't have to worry about HIM intruding.
Oh! And now my dad also started complaining about my fish tanks. My betta tanks are in a small room in the house that basically no one except me ever goes in and my 10 gallon dwarf puffer tank is in my bedroom. Another room basically no one but me goes in. I don't ask him to feed them or change the water, he doesn't even have to LOOK at them! But now he's complaining that my three bettas, in a little room we don't use for ANYTHING other than storing books and stuff or putting things that we want to stay out of sight when my little cousins are over, are taking up too much room. Then he carries on about how I should just get one tank and keep fish where I can have more than one of them in a tank.
But, you know what? For all the time I spend crying, the silly fish do more to make me happy than anyone in my family is right now. And I paid for the tanks and the fish. So they're not going anywhere. But, really? It's okay for me to feel displaced and second best to my sister's boyfriend, it's wrong for me to resent him for it, it's not okay for me to be emotional and prickly when I'm going through an emotional crisis, and now he's telling me even my fish--the fish he doesn't even have to look at--are taking up too much space?
And it's not like I have a million of them! I have three bettas and one dwarf puffer. They don't have gigantic tanks. I have a 2.5 gallon, a 3 gallon, and a 5.5 gallon downstairs for the bettas and a 10 gallon in my bedroom for the dwarf puffer. Tanks that size are pretty dang easy to ignore, anyway! It's not like I have a 100 gallon tank out in the middle of the living room where everyone has to look at it! Though, I had been thinking about asking for a large tank for my birthday because there's a kind of fish I'd like, but I'd need a big tank for them. But I guess if my little tanks that he doesn't even have to see if he doesn't want to offend him the big tank I'd been planning for isn't going to happen...