I'm going out of my mind. I can't believe I'm back to ******* commuting to school. I need to get away from my family. Yesterday we all had to be out of the house by 9:30 in the morning. NATURALLY my sister goes to her **** boyfriend's house for breakfast and my mom and my aunt go off somewhere, leaving me with my dad's WONDERFUL company. I try to weasel out of it by saying I'd go off on my own but he wouldn't drop it until I caved and went with him.
So I decide it's as good a time to mention that in a few weeks there are some events going on at the store I work at on my birthday and I would like to go. I mention it so I can find out from him if my mom has something planned for the day of my birthday before I ask her and she explodes at me. One of those things is a teacher's workshop. Then he proceeds to tell me how I shouldn't make much mention of the workshop because my mom's terrified that I still want to teach music.
Hello... TEACHING PRIVATE LESSONS! I AM teaching music, thank you very much! Then he starts cramming career advice down my throat, telling me all about how I should be a journalist. I'd shoot myself. If I was writing, I would NOT be writing as a journalist. The entire time we're at breakfast, he keeps shoving journalism down my throat. I could've killed him.
Now today I just want to choke EVERYONE. ALL DAY, it's been about my sister. I've been hearing about her boyfriend, her boyfriend's mom, her exam tomorrow, etc. And this is from everyone. My sister, my mom, my aunt, etc. Meanwhile I may as well not exist.
So I go to play the wii (My early birthday present, btw) where I can play Brawl and kill things and beat things up. Then I get cornered and lectured by my dad about how I should let my little cousin win. My little cousin comes over demanding to play. I don't feel like standing there, letting him kill my character, and then having him gloat, so I set him up to play against a CPU.
When he finishes playing, my uncle comes into the room asking how to turn the thing off. No "are you done playing it?" or "would you mind playing later?". No thought that MAYBE I might be using the TV. Let's ignore the fact that there are other TV's he could watch, but that's the only TV with the wii hooked up and it's a huge hassle to disconnect the machine, unstick the velcro from the sensor, and move it all to another TV.
But I let him have the **** TV and turn the wii off. Now I'm listening to my mom and my aunt talk to my sister, because she's the only one who matters. And I'm just going out of my mind.
Between having unwanted career advice jammed down my throat, the obsession with my **** sister, and getting pushed aside I'm going insane. It doesn't help that I've been diagnosed with clinical depression, either. I've been taking an herbal supplement, but I don't think it's enough. I was GOING to talk to my psychiatrist about prozac, but my mom and my dad both lectured me and lectured me and lectured me until I ended up getting cold feet and sticking with the herbal supplement.
I just can't stand my family. And I can't BELIEVE I'm back to commuting! I desperately wish I had a room somewhere I could run away to when the semester starts.