Rant thread - Page 1412 - Betta Fish and Betta Fish Care
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post #14111 of 24121 (permalink) Old 08-04-2012, 02:32 PM
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post #14112 of 24121 (permalink) Old 08-05-2012, 01:11 PM
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Got my refund check for my loans at school at can't use it till the 15th. My van must wait until then. Driving withdraws.

Keep yourself clean and bright, for you are the window through which you must see the world.
George Bernard Shaw
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post #14113 of 24121 (permalink) Old 08-05-2012, 02:18 PM
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Sucks to have money and not been able to use them...

Dedicated to a soul, i let go away ages ago:
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post #14114 of 24121 (permalink) Old 08-05-2012, 04:59 PM
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My neck hurts.
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post #14115 of 24121 (permalink) Old 08-05-2012, 05:31 PM
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So I get to be the late night manager with the only person I can't work well with.

Last time I was his late night manager, I got stuck doing all the work while he was either on break or somewhere in the back of the store. Not only that, but when the lobby gets full and a manager is on break, they are supposed to go and help. Guess who didn't the two times lobby filled up on his break last time.

And then guess who didn't come up from the back to help when I really needed it and kept calling for it. I am going to be so pissed off if he pulls that again since he's a fan of delegating all the work to everyone else.

I'm thinking I'll go straight to our boss if he pulls it again because I can't do my job, his job, drive thru's job, and counter's job all at once while we're packed. It's impossible to do.
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post #14116 of 24121 (permalink) Old 08-05-2012, 07:36 PM
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I'm going out of my mind. I can't believe I'm back to ******* commuting to school. I need to get away from my family. Yesterday we all had to be out of the house by 9:30 in the morning. NATURALLY my sister goes to her **** boyfriend's house for breakfast and my mom and my aunt go off somewhere, leaving me with my dad's WONDERFUL company. I try to weasel out of it by saying I'd go off on my own but he wouldn't drop it until I caved and went with him.

So I decide it's as good a time to mention that in a few weeks there are some events going on at the store I work at on my birthday and I would like to go. I mention it so I can find out from him if my mom has something planned for the day of my birthday before I ask her and she explodes at me. One of those things is a teacher's workshop. Then he proceeds to tell me how I shouldn't make much mention of the workshop because my mom's terrified that I still want to teach music.

Hello... TEACHING PRIVATE LESSONS! I AM teaching music, thank you very much! Then he starts cramming career advice down my throat, telling me all about how I should be a journalist. I'd shoot myself. If I was writing, I would NOT be writing as a journalist. The entire time we're at breakfast, he keeps shoving journalism down my throat. I could've killed him.

Now today I just want to choke EVERYONE. ALL DAY, it's been about my sister. I've been hearing about her boyfriend, her boyfriend's mom, her exam tomorrow, etc. And this is from everyone. My sister, my mom, my aunt, etc. Meanwhile I may as well not exist.

So I go to play the wii (My early birthday present, btw) where I can play Brawl and kill things and beat things up. Then I get cornered and lectured by my dad about how I should let my little cousin win. My little cousin comes over demanding to play. I don't feel like standing there, letting him kill my character, and then having him gloat, so I set him up to play against a CPU.

When he finishes playing, my uncle comes into the room asking how to turn the thing off. No "are you done playing it?" or "would you mind playing later?". No thought that MAYBE I might be using the TV. Let's ignore the fact that there are other TV's he could watch, but that's the only TV with the wii hooked up and it's a huge hassle to disconnect the machine, unstick the velcro from the sensor, and move it all to another TV.

But I let him have the **** TV and turn the wii off. Now I'm listening to my mom and my aunt talk to my sister, because she's the only one who matters. And I'm just going out of my mind.

Between having unwanted career advice jammed down my throat, the obsession with my **** sister, and getting pushed aside I'm going insane. It doesn't help that I've been diagnosed with clinical depression, either. I've been taking an herbal supplement, but I don't think it's enough. I was GOING to talk to my psychiatrist about prozac, but my mom and my dad both lectured me and lectured me and lectured me until I ended up getting cold feet and sticking with the herbal supplement.

I just can't stand my family. And I can't BELIEVE I'm back to commuting! I desperately wish I had a room somewhere I could run away to when the semester starts.

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post #14117 of 24121 (permalink) Old 08-05-2012, 08:08 PM
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Oh, Anges :(
I'm so sorry that you're family's acting that way. Especially your dad. As a student in a "dead end" major (philosophy/theology), I get how irritating that can be. Parents just want to make sure their kids will be able to take care of themselves, and sometimes concern can come off harshly. It sucks being pushed into something you don't want.
Have you talked to your parents about how they talk about your sister? If you want to address that, make sure you talk to them, not her. I know it's hard not to be angry at her, but she can't help how much other people talk about her. I'm the oldest in my family and sometimes the same thing starts to happen with them paying more attention to me. I sometimes don't notice it myself, and it's my siblings that make it obvious to my parents that they need attention.
And as for the depression, I strongly encourage you to get on medication as quickly as possible. I've suffered from depression and more recently with panic disorder, and I cannot stress how important my medication is to my well-being. If you are detecting that you need anti-depressants, don't hesitate to get them.
I wish your family would be more supportive ... that's a heavy burden to carry alone. If you need to convince them that you need help, I'd say the best way to do it would be to describe exactly how unbearable it feels. Try to make them understand as best you can.
I wish you the best of luck! My betta sends you fishy kisses, lol :*

"It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it." - Aristotle

"For when Thou art our strength, it is strength indeed, but when our strength is our own it is only weakness." - St. Augustine (Confessions 4.XVI)

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post #14118 of 24121 (permalink) Old 08-05-2012, 08:17 PM
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I was told by a neighbor who is a psychologist that you risk having neurological damage if you don't do something about your depression. I went to my doctor and got Zoloft. My mom flipped out but hey, you 've gotta do what you gotta do.
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post #14119 of 24121 (permalink) Old 08-05-2012, 08:22 PM
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I just got switched from Prozac to Zoloft, and I'm doing pretty well so far.
If people give you hell for it, just remember that at the end of the day, it's your business. If you need it, get it.

"It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it." - Aristotle

"For when Thou art our strength, it is strength indeed, but when our strength is our own it is only weakness." - St. Augustine (Confessions 4.XVI)

Feminist, Neo-Darwinist, Libertarian, Animal-Loving Christian
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post #14120 of 24121 (permalink) Old 08-05-2012, 08:31 PM
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They know I need help. I'm going to therapy and I've spoken to a psychiatrist about medication. But my dad just hates therapists in general and even though I explained to my mom why I think I need something more powerful than the herbal supplement I got lectures about how nasty anti-depressants are until I became too afraid to take them. I had every intention of calling the psychiatrist and telling her that I wanted the anti-depressants, but my parents kept telling me what awful medications they are until I became afraid that they'd somehow make things even worse.

And with my sister they just don't get it. If I say anything to my mom I get a lecture about how she loves us both equally and she's hurt and offended that I don't see that. Once when I complained my dad acknowledged it but didn't change anything, but most of the time he just tells me to lighten up. My sister just doesn't pay ANY attention to me at all, or if she does she makes it clear that it's because she feels OBLIGATED to, and once whatever we're doing is over she's fulfilled her obligation and that's that.

And when I told my mom I was clinically depressed, she said "Well, now maybe when you get angry you can realize that some of these feelings are from a chemical imbalance". Sorry! That isn't how it works! Logically, I know that sometimes I'm really, really angry or upset and it's irrational. But that doesn't make me not feel that way. Right now, I know that probably a lot of why I'm feeling so tense and angry and hurt is the depression. That knowledge doesn't make the feelings go away.

And my mom used to have depression, too! You'd think she'd understand that.

Right now I'm taking 900mg of Saint John'swort a day, but I just don't think it's enough. Maybe I'll see about taking 1200mg a day for a while instead of switching to a stronger medication? I'd rather just go to prozac, but my parents would probably accept the higher dose of the herbal remedy more easily.

Last edited by AngesRadieux; 08-05-2012 at 08:34 PM.
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