Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Going to jump on the bandwagon here and agree with the talk about not being able to make/maintain friendships, for the most part. I have a few friends who I know would stick by me through thick and thin, though there aren't many of them. Even then, sometimes they just aren't there in times of need, like last week. I had a realisation that the abuse in a past relationship had gone much deeper than I had allowed myself to acknowledge both during that relationship and for 2.5 years after it ended (my theory as to why that is is I had quite enough on my plate to deal with without emotionally recognising the biggest violation) and it kinda hit me like a truck. The only person who offered a shoulder at all was my boyfriend, anyone else I tried to speak to about it could only spout victim-blaming cliches. Even my best mate didn't want to let me talk about it - he kept diverting the topic to gaming, presumably because it's a really hard topic to talk about, but still, I just needed the ear of a friend rather than a lover. Of course I appreciate the support from my partner, but with this topic I just needed my buddy.
I'm also going to agree that the best thing to do for depression is to get active, to force yourself to do things. However, at times it really can just be too much, and picking yourself back up and throwing yourself into doing stuff isn't going to help. My fish are definitely the thing that keeps me going. I love to be creative, and knit, crochet, make music and dabble in photography and painting, but nothing gets me off my butt and doing things like my precious boys, because they need me. Everything else can wait, and often does, until the worst of the "badness" as I like to call it is gone, however the fish do not. I reckon if it wasn't for them, during the past week I'd have done nothing except hermit in my bedroom.