@ mb, I really do understand. I lost my Dad a year ago to a heart attack, and the worst thing is is that no one even knew until 2 days later. He was out cutting wood when it happened, and he lived alone so no one knew he was missing. We never imagined it would happen, and it's just not something you EVER expect. I imagine everyone looks at life a little bit differently after they lose someone they love in a way like that, with no warning whatsoever. There's always a "I could die right here, right now," thought. In a way, it's freed me. I do what I want, living for the enjoyment of now. I will never put off anything, thinking "I'll do it later". You never know if there will BE a later. I try not to stay angry at people, and I try to make friends, and never leave someone with angry words. It's hard, like I said before, but you'll feel better in time. A year later, I try to talk about him as much as possible, to remember him. It's hard sometimes, because you begin to forget what they looked like, talked like, laughed like, but it's always nice to simply remember.
Just remember that if you need to talk about it, we're always here for you :P Feel free to open up whenever. We may not have known her, or you, personally, but many of us have been through, or are going through the exact same thing.