I'm sorry :( that's hard. But just think- you'll be better soon! <:)
Kath, my mom always said pretty is as pretty does. If people can't see beyond a body that is puffy because of medicine and illness, that's their loss! Being beautiful on the inside is what counts and you're besutiful on the inside.
I agree. Besides, I'm sure you're beautiful on the outside, too.
No offense but I don't see how this is a problem...don't let social pressures get to you, honestly I was 21 before this happened. I'm not like, going to off myself on a bridge. Besides, if nobody likes you in that way because "You're too ugly" then you're better off without. A mature man would be able to look past all of that and love you for who you are. It just depends on how patient you are willing to be. Boys around your age (not to generalize but...) only care about how "sexy" their girlfriend is with all them ragin' hormones.
This may sound harsh, but you have to accept and embrace the fact that your life is not going to be "normal" like other teenagers. The only thing you can do about that is do what YOU love. Who cares if you can't play sports or go jogging or exert yourself physically? Do something you enjoy doing, whether it is sitting on a park bench or playing chess or reading a book.
There is no such thing as a "normal" life, life is what you make of it.
As for "dying" don't spend your time counting your days down. I know this sounds corny (and I hate corny) but you should appreciate the time you are spending with family and friends now, don't dilute your thoughts of being alone, it will just make you feel sad and unhappy.
Don't dwell on your lack of time, make the most of the time you have.
It's like the time we have with our bettas. They only live (on average) 3 years? I won't waste my time thinking about "Oh lord they only have x many years left". You are aware of their imminent death, and it hurts when they go, but you'll always be left with good memories.
You do live in Canada right? What province? Surgery is free in Ontario. There are some jobs and volunteering positions for "disabled" persons (or whatever the hell the politically correct term is,ugh). I have a friend with mild Vrolik syndrome who is constantly wheelchair bound and he has a light desk job at a retirement home. I would also love to get an AB betta one day as well, I don't nearly have as many regular bettas as you do, because as a poor University student with a lame student job, I can't afford it either, haha.
Anyway, life is very frustrating sometimes, but the key to happiness is being able to move forward with friends, family and loved ones.
Finally, remember that I (and everybody else) will always love and care for you with the light of 1000 suns. DON'T FORGET THAT.
Thank you everyone, especially Bahamut. I appreciate your kind words.
I know I'm lucky in many ways, I have a family that supports me, friends that support me. Its just sometimes I feel overwhelmed with everything, you know? I am a pretty positive person in everyday life, I just wanted to vent a bit.
I do a lot that I enjoy doing, but so much I've had to give up. I used to be a pretty good soccer player, I can barely walk now.
And I do agree that I shouldn't give in to peer pressure, its just very hard sometimes! :P
I do live in Ontario. I never knew about those kinds of jobs. Thank you for letting me know, I will definitely look into that.
Thank you Bahamut, I really appreciate the kind words you've said. Its knocked some sense into me. :)