Don't know what to do - Betta Fish and Betta Fish Care
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post #1 of 22 (permalink) Old 09-16-2010, 08:33 PM Thread Starter
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Unhappy Don't know what to do

So my roommate and I work at the same place. She's the reason I even knew they had an opening in the first place. She's been trying to get me to apply there for a year and I finally decided to give it a try and I got hired.

Well today I'm talking with my manager. She's super cool, the best manager anyone could ask for, but she told me she was going to have to start getting a little stricter because upper management was getting on her back. I told her she didn't have anything to worry about anything from me because I would never cop an attitude at work or do anything else against the rules (reading, cell phones, drinking *coffee*).

She kind of gave me a weird look and proceeded to tell me that before I got hired "someone" told her that I was a messy, unreliable, *witch* and that she shouldn't hire me. She was super worried about it and she and upper management had planned to fire me before my probationary period was up.

Of course once she got to know me she found out that what this person said is the complete opposite of who I really am.

After a little digging I found out that my roommate (and one of my closest friends) is the one who told her all this stuff.


I'm so upset :( I promised my manager that I wouldn't say anything. The last thing she (and I) want is to start drama but I'm so hurt. I try so hard to always be polite and go out of my way to be a good friend/ roommate and I always end up stabbed in the back. Now I have to live with this girl knowing that the way she acts towards me isn't the way she really feels.

I don't know what to do. I can't start anything but how can I just pretend that nothing is wrong?

The worst part is is that this girl is pretty much the only person I hang out with. I have like 0 *non-forum* friends and I really thought I could trust her. So now I'm just hiding in my room under the pretense of "homework" trying to decide between crying and screaming.

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Last edited by 1fish2fish; 09-16-2010 at 08:42 PM.
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post #2 of 22 (permalink) Old 09-16-2010, 08:46 PM
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Wait, waitt a second... something doesn't add up here... Why would she try to get you to apply, only to tell the manager not to hire you? Someone isn't telling the truth here, and tbh, I'd trust your roomie. You've known her for longer, and you even live with her! I'd say... really, talk to her. Confront her. If you don't, you'll never know the truth. It's easier to know the truth than to think the worst, and wonder all the time. If it's true, I'm sorry this has happened. It seems like there's been a lot of friend problems lately...

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post #3 of 22 (permalink) Old 09-16-2010, 08:50 PM
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Oh man that sucks! That puts you in a really bad situation... I agree with CR, I'd talk to her. Something sounds off. I'm not a very good people person so I don't really know what to tell you :(
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post #4 of 22 (permalink) Old 09-16-2010, 08:54 PM Thread Starter
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My manager showed me the text messages that my roommate sent her telling her all this. After my manager left I talked to the other manager (who is above my manager) and she said the same thing.

I would talk to her about it but that would mean betraying my manager's confidences since I promised I wouldn't talk about it. At this point I believe my manager because she has no reason to start drama since things are going fine at work.

I'm going to ask another girl that works there if she's heard anything like this when I go in tomorrow.

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post #5 of 22 (permalink) Old 09-16-2010, 08:57 PM
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If she's got evidence, then idk what to say except I'm VERY sorry this has happened. Hopefully you'll be able to find someone who will be honest with you.... is there any way you'll be able to find a new roommate?

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post #6 of 22 (permalink) Old 09-16-2010, 09:02 PM Thread Starter
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no :( I live in the dorms so I'm pretty much stuck with who I'm stuck with. I don't have any other friends really which means if I want to move off campus I'm going to have to find another person to live with.. and finding someone who is cool with all my animals is going to be hard.

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post #7 of 22 (permalink) Old 09-16-2010, 09:32 PM
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Since you're kind of in a stuck situation being that you can't say anything, I'd just try my best to let it go.

It doesn't make sense to me either why she would do what she did. Why bother trying to get you in there only to stab you in the back? Which leads me to the conclusion that the girl has issues. It probably wouldn't matter what you say or do. Not a nice thing to do to anyone, much less your roomie who you convinced to get the job in the first place.

Onto your manager! It was incredibly unprofessional of her to tell you those things/show you those messages. Once she knew who you were (as a worker and a person), she should have kept it to herself. All she did was create drama where there wasn't any before. She's put you into a very, very awkward position. Asking you not to confront your room mate wasn't right. She shouldn't have created this chaos in the first place.

Now you know that your room mate is not a nice girl and you're stuck with her. I guess knowing is better in the long run because you can protect yourself by not letting her in on too much of your life and distancing yourself. OR, you can forget the whole thing and go on as if you never knew. Maybe she was having a bad day. Maybe she was mad at your for something ridiculous and took it out the wrong way. Maybe she was hammered. :P

In any case, I'm really sorry you're stuck with her and I'm sorry your manager couldn't keep this to herself.

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post #8 of 22 (permalink) Old 09-16-2010, 09:35 PM
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I'm so sorry that happened :( There have seemed to be a lot of friend problems lately. >.< People are such jerks...


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post #9 of 22 (permalink) Old 09-16-2010, 09:46 PM Thread Starter
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I pried it out of my manager. She originally said "someone" had said such and such but I knew only one person could have said that because no one else knew me. Yeah she probably shouldn't have brought it up but I'd rather know than go on believing I had such a great friend.

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post #10 of 22 (permalink) Old 09-16-2010, 10:50 PM
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I'm so sorry this has happened to you Jackie... like I said that really sucks. both on your friend and your manager's part. I agree with everything VG said, she pretty much hit the nail on the head. Like I said, I'm really sorry :c
People are going crazy right now I guess.
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