She. Is. Driving. Me. Insane. - Betta Fish and Betta Fish Care
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post #1 of 6 (permalink) Old 12-19-2010, 10:25 PM Thread Starter
wildmagic713's Avatar
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Pittsburgh, PA
Posts: 323
She. Is. Driving. Me. Insane.

Okay, so I have this friend.

She's 15, she's been going out with our other friend since the first week of November. He's a nice kid, funny, sweet, and he plays guitar and bass.

She's a triple black belt, really into art, and plays guitar and piano.

So, they were doing candy cane sales at my school this past week as a fundraiser for the junior class. We were sitting there talking about it, and my friend Haley goes "Sydney, come with me to go buy candy canes."

Sydney went "No, I can't."

Haley said "You can leave Bruce for five minutes, come on."

Sydney said "No, I can't."

EVERY TIME Bruce comes around, she gets super clingy and she can't leave his side. I used to kind of like him like him, but not so much anymore, he's just one of my friends. So it's not because I'm jealous, it's that I hate the fact that you can't have a decent conversation with either one of them if the other one is around, and it used to be Bruce and I would discuss music for hours because I play guitar, piano, sing, and like the same music he does, and he thinks I'm very talented. We can't do that anymore.

And to top it off, while we were talking about the whole candy cane thing, this is what happened:

Me: "I doubt I'm going to get any candy canes."
Bruce: "Don't say that."
Me: "But I won't."
Bruce: "Yes you will."
Me: "I really don't think I will. I don't care if I don't."
Bruce: "I'm sending you one cause I don't want you to feel bad."

Sydney was sitting right there next to him during that conversation. She got this look on her face. It was the "OMG SHE'S TRYING TO STEAL HIM FROM ME!" look. No, Sydney, I'm not trying to. Your boyfriend is a nice person who doesn't want one of his friends to feel bad, so he's trying to make his friend feel better.

Ever since she started going out with him, she's been very defensive around me. Last week she FREAKED out because he didn't come to see her during assembly period. I was walking out to go to class and I said (very sarcastically) "Maybe he's avoiding you." and then I left. She ran off to him and at the end of the day he came up to me and went "Why did you say she was avoiding me?" while she was standing right next to him. I said "I was being sarcastic." and she said "It sure didn't sound like it." so I said "Well, I was. You need to stop taking everything so seriously."

I really wanted to go "Well, Sydney, sarcasm is wasted on you." because it really is. Every time you say something sarcastic, no matter how obviously sarcastic it is, she takes it seriously. My dad is pretty much the most sarcastic person I've ever met, and so I've learned the ways of sarcasm well. It makes me mad that she takes everything so seriously.

I was talking to my mom about it, and she says that she thinks Sydney is so defensive now for a few reasons:

1) Bruce and I hit it off and we're good friends, and she's insecure about that.
2) She has what my mother called average looks, and apparently I'm very pretty (I don't see it, I think I'm average, but everyone else says I am), so Sydney is insecure about that.
3) I don't really care about how I look. I like to look nice, but I don't worry about makeup or whatever. The extent I wear is mascara and occasionally very light eyeliner that you can never see anyways because of how close I put it to my lash line and how skinny the line is. Sydney is very concerned about how she looks, and doesn't like the fact that I can be "pretty" without trying.
4) I'm 5'8.75, almost 5'9 (I grew again) and she's 5' so I intimidate her a little.
5) She dresses very oddly. She hates being a "prep" so she wears combat boots and leather jackets and trench coats and such. Only reason she wears polos is because they're one of the only shirts that fit school dress code. She's obsessed with Hot Topic. I show up to school in nice pants and polos and I don't really care how I look as long as I look nice and I match.
6) They aren't used to the combination of: Pretty, smart, witty, nice, sarcastic, funny, athletic. There are a lot of VERY pretty girls in my grade, but they aren't very smart. I focus on school, I am responsible, I don't really care about guys because I know how high school relationships tend to end, and I don't want to deal with it. I'm obsessed with horses, and only Bruce understands that, and that's because his sisters ride so he can understand why I love it so much. I don't worry about how I look. Basically, to put it bluntly, I don't care. I was raised to be open minded but to stand up for what I believe in, and I refuse to let people walk all over me.

That's what my mom thinks, not me. I just think that Sydney is insecure because I came in new this year and made a big splash and became close with her friends very quickly, not trying to steal them from her, and she thinks that I'm going to steal her boyfriend just because I'm friends with him.

And since she's that bad just for a candy cane, I wonder what she'd do if she found out he hugged me the day after he asked her out because I was having a bad day. She'd probably try to kill me....

I really want to tell her to stop being a defensive jerk, but that's too rude for me. So I do what I learned from my cousin. I'm a jerk with a smile on my face. I make remarks that she can't figure out, but I know what they mean.

It's driving me insane. I just needed to rant to someone. But we're on break now and I'm hanging out with my BFFL on Wednesday (I see her once a year because she lives on the other side of the country). I'm so glad we're on break because it gives me a chance to wind down and just be my normal unstressed self. I HATE teenagers with annoying relationships. I can't thank my one friend enough for keeping her relationship quiet. She and her BF were friendly at school, but they saved the clinginess for outside of school, so you could actually talk to them. Plus they were okay with their BF/GF talking to friends of the opposite gender.

RIP Mister Fishy :(

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post #2 of 6 (permalink) Old 12-20-2010, 07:15 AM
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Oh man, I hate clingy relationships. If fact I try to sell my boyfriend to people on a regular basis. XD
A lot of what your mom said is most likely true. She's probably never been in a relationship before and is stuck to him like a magnet. Plus there are people out there who get very jealous. I know I do. I got pretty pissed off when my boyfriend let one of our female friends sleep over at his house at the beginning of our relationship. Hopefully the clingyness will start to wear off as the relationship goes on, or maybe the relationship won't even last.
Take this break to unwind a little bit.

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post #3 of 6 (permalink) Old 12-20-2010, 01:20 PM Thread Starter
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Posts: 323
Oh, I'm going to. If it doesn't wear off in the next couple months/they don't break up, I may or may not be forced to say something.

I honestly don't want a boyfriend in high school. This is my list of priorities right now (Excluding taking care of Mister Fishy, because that's an everyday task):

Do homework/Get good grades in school
Spend time with family
Make enough money to pay for horseback riding lessons for this summer and preferably longer
Spend time with my friends
Play LOTS of music
Listen to tons of music
Clean my room

I could keep going. But "boyfriend" won't be found on that list until around the 100th priority, if not further down. Most likely further down. I'm not looking for a relationship, because, quite frankly, I'll probably get a boyfriend, spend loads of time at the barn riding, and this is what will happen:

"It's me or the horse."

Bye-bye, boyfriend!


Haha :)

RIP Mister Fishy :(

Divided 10-gallon:

Mister Fishy II (Fishy, Agent II)- solid red double tail male

Flor Azul (AKA Azul, Zully, Azzy, Zu, Zul, Az)- royal blue and white butterfly delta male
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post #4 of 6 (permalink) Old 12-20-2010, 02:00 PM
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People that act like that aren't your true friends. If Sydney really was a good friend, she wouldn't get so uptight :/ Either she's not a good friend or she has some maturity issues. If it is a maturity issue, there's not much you can do but avoid her or look over her actions until she gets a bit more mature.

I can't stand girls like that, they drive me bonkers :P You think this kinda thing would get better when you get into college, but I swear that some of my friends have regressed in maturity XD

I'd quit hanging out with her for awhile until she figures out that her attitude is driving your friendship apart. Or maybe talk to her boyfriend about her clingy/jealousy issues. Maybe he can talk some sense into her.

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post #5 of 6 (permalink) Old 12-20-2010, 02:07 PM Thread Starter
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The thing I find hilarious is that he mocks her. When she complains about him leaving, he imitates her doing that and then everyone laughs and she just goes "WHY DID YOU DO THAT?!?!?!"

And he and I were having a discussion about Vampires Suck (He's seen it, I haven't, but I've seen the previews) and laughing like maniacs while we were sitting on the floor in the hall and we were both literally on our sides because of how much we were laughing and she looked at the both of us like we were insane.

RIP Mister Fishy :(

Divided 10-gallon:

Mister Fishy II (Fishy, Agent II)- solid red double tail male

Flor Azul (AKA Azul, Zully, Azzy, Zu, Zul, Az)- royal blue and white butterfly delta male
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post #6 of 6 (permalink) Old 12-20-2010, 03:56 PM
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Location: Gloucester,uk
Posts: 189
Totally agree with your mothers conclusions.Sydney is over-awed with Bruce and unfortunately love can effect you with a stupidity which although you can't see yourself others can (meaning Sydney not you!).
She is probably very insecure at the moment and thinks every girl in the world is trying to steal Bruce away from her (including her friends & Bruce's friends) hence her constantly needing to be by his side and over-reacting over his interactions with other girls.
You could try taking her to one side and telling her that you have no interest in Bruce (as a boyfriend) and that having the need to be constantly by his side may stress out their relationship.Maybe organise a night out for a film just for you and her to help cement your friendship,or as said by TaylorW take a little time out from them (she may not see you as a threat then and become her usual self with you).

Though saying that,I'm a bloke and have yet to work out a womans mind ,so dont take any advice from me .


* edit a P.S.
Maybe organise a night out with her only,then during the night tell her that your not interested in Bruce and to tell her to maybe give him some space

Last edited by Tomsk; 12-20-2010 at 03:59 PM. Reason: for the P.S,
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