I think people need to be nicer. - Betta Fish and Betta Fish Care
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post #1 of 19 (permalink) Old 01-27-2011, 12:41 PM Thread Starter
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Angry I think people need to be nicer.

Seriously. God, I keep seeing SO many (especially ONE SPECIFIC PERSON) being very rude and overreacting on multiple threads.

This site isnt here to reply to questions/ideas/pictures, etc with only:

"YOU NEED AT LEAST 2.5 GALLONS YOURE A BAD OWNER!!"
"OMG YOU DONT HAVE A HEATER I HATE YOU!"
"YOU NEED TO DIE BECAUSE YOU DONT CLEAN YOUR TANK ENOUGH!!"

If that's all we had to say, then why in heck is this a forum and not just a site saying "you need 2.5 gallons, youre doing it wrong" automatically?

Not everyone knows what to do. Help. Dont yell, help.

Also, with breeding:

People are getting sooo hissy. Listen. If someone doesnt understand it well enough, tell them POLITLEY.
You Dont need to be making your fonts huge like this while yelling at them and giving no advice. Wth kind of thing to do is that?

"Youre wrong, heres why. Nope. No advice or how to fix it."
That's stupid.



This site isnt for people to sit here and moan at others about all they do wrong and how awful they are.

Be helpful, be kind, and be aware and courteous of the fact that not everyone may know as much as you.

Dont be a jerk.

Just.

Dont.

Im so tired of this! >:(

/end rant

Last edited by Oldfishlady; 01-27-2011 at 04:02 PM. Reason: language
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post #2 of 19 (permalink) Old 01-27-2011, 01:01 PM
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It's amazing that you posted this, because I have been thinking the same thing for a long time, and I've only been on here a month.
People also need to understand that, by communicating in this way-through posts or chat room, we are not able to see the facial expressions of the other person. So we may not always know if they are joking, serious or angry and hurt.
A lot of the threads sound very accusatory rather than info gather questioning.
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post #3 of 19 (permalink) Old 01-27-2011, 01:10 PM
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i agree!

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post #4 of 19 (permalink) Old 01-27-2011, 01:18 PM
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There has been a few threads on this very topic. I agree with. People also need to realize that when they first started keeping fish they made the same mistakes. Noone is perfect. If somthing is said that is a joke add "lol" or :) or it could be tooken the wrong way. Of course you cant go around telling people off then say, "oh I was just joking" I have notice people lashing out very quickly and then when one starts in everyone else thinks it is ok to chime in. There is a few things a find personally annoying but I wont mention it just cause lol

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post #5 of 19 (permalink) Old 01-27-2011, 01:25 PM
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nobody here is a bad fish owner (though some may not be knowledgeable) i mean they took the time to find bettafish.com for advice. as embarrassing as it is to admit, when i was like 10 i kept my bettas in 1/2 gallon vases with no gravel or plants, and only cleaned it like once a month. but i don't think I was a bad owner, because I didn't know better. I wasn't purposely mistreating my fish. then I found this website, and now I take much better care of my fish. Nobody here should accuse someone of being a bad owner. this website is for people looking for advice, ans saying they're a bad owner isn't going to help them.
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post #6 of 19 (permalink) Old 01-27-2011, 01:45 PM
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I do understand where your coming from on the big fonts thing but...


I have yet to see someone on this board get berated or told they were hated or should die because of x,y,z. That is seriously overreacting. If anything you will see "you should have a 2 gallon tank because of x,y,z" or "not doing enough water changes causes x,y,z"

Lets face it on the water change thing... 90% of the topics in the disease section are related to miscare due to not enough water changes. No one is rude by saying you need to do more water changes... that is helping.


Maybe I'm not seeing the posts your seeing or maybe it's because I'm on other boards who actually tell it like it is while still being respectful. You can be respectful without sugar coating and sometimes that is needed.


Edit..

Oh yeah.. wanted to add. Instead of everyone posting these ranty, passive aggressive threads.. why not either:
1) contact the moderating staff with your concerns about individual posts
2) contact the poster themselves and respectfully address your concerns

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Last edited by 1fish2fish; 01-27-2011 at 01:56 PM.
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post #7 of 19 (permalink) Old 01-27-2011, 04:16 PM
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1fish2fish,

Well said!

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post #8 of 19 (permalink) Old 01-27-2011, 04:28 PM
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And another thing that you can do is post positive posts to combat the so-called "mean" posts. Lead by example. I often give advice, but in a reassuring supportive tone. We can't control other people's voices, but we can certainly control our own :)

BTW, 1fish2fish, what other forums you on? I'd like to expand to tap in to many more knowledge bases!


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post #9 of 19 (permalink) Old 01-27-2011, 04:36 PM
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I'll send ya a PM Monroe

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post #10 of 19 (permalink) Old 01-27-2011, 05:51 PM Thread Starter
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1fish2fish, Theyre not exactly breaking any rules in what they do, so technically I have no reason to report them. Its just getting really nippy and a bit mean at times, which it really shouldnt. I aknowledge, of course- that there are indeed reasons for people to become angry (true trolls, blatant abuse, intentional mistreating), but I do not mean those.

I've asked a few people to tone it down and told them maybe their phrasing isnt the kindest/ the other person didnt know any better, but its usually in vain.

Those examples of "I hate you xyz" were jokes, btw. (Though I did see one person say that, it was actually kind of amusing that time.)

Im am most certainly (obviously) not talking about "normal" and expected answers like "you need to do more waterchanges", etc, because those arent mean. I am talking about people overreacting to situations that can be answered with things like a simple post about needing more waterchanges, etc. (as you mentioned).

I'd like to see a board that can tell it like it is and still be respectful. Of course, most members on here do just that- but quite a few do not.

@Monroe: I usually do, or try to. Or Ill try and pm a person in that way.
I'm aware we cant control others, but that doesnt mean it's not an issue that makes others uncomfortable...
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