Gahh, I'm so angry and upset/hurt. - Page 2 - Betta Fish and Betta Fish Care
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post #11 of 15 (permalink) Old 03-18-2011, 01:57 PM
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Good advice, Goomba.
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post #12 of 15 (permalink) Old 03-18-2011, 09:17 PM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by Goomba3 View Post
It's very sad to say, but a lot of people are like N. They'll be super nice to your face, and if you have something to provide, they'll take advantage of it. But behind your back they're the nastiest people on earth. I go through this a lot, simply because I am a very nice person and a sweetheart by nature. I let people walk all over me and then get upset when they don't do anything in return. It's my own fault, of course.

Usually I find it's best to just act happy and cheery around her, like nothing is going on. There's a song lyric that says "I find it kind of funny that you waste your breath talking about me", and I think this is a situation that you should take those lyrics to heart. I know I do. Just laugh it off. Yeah, it hurts, but think of it this way: SHE is probably miserable and friendless, and YOU are an amazing, smart, funny girl. Don't let it bother you.

Best of luck!
Thanks so much!
I had to deal with her all day at work today and was in a really bad mood when I got home, but then I saw this post and it totally made me smile and made my day.
You rock!
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post #13 of 15 (permalink) Old 03-19-2011, 01:16 AM
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My expirience with people that go behind your back/generally are nasty about you is that chances are, you're not their only target. And people DO notice when people do nasty things like that, even if they don't point it out. So try not to worry, because things have a way of getting back to people.
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post #14 of 15 (permalink) Old 03-19-2011, 05:53 AM
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If I were you I would talk to another supervisor of equal or greater authority about the issue. Probably best to go above her though and thoroughly explain the situation, and probably bring someone to back you up about it also. People like this are pathetic and only do these types of things for the attention they get from spreading the rumors. They also enjoy the "power" they get from convincing people they are their friends when secretly they talk crap behind their backs. It makes them feel like they are in control. If I were in your situation, I would politely "insult" her in such a way that she gets the point that you do not want to be friends, but also cannot say you were exactly "mean" to her. I would also try to straighten out the situation with the others involved, without talking bad about the instigator. That way there is nothing bad to say about you, and hopefully the situation works itself out. Good luck
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post #15 of 15 (permalink) Old 03-19-2011, 01:20 PM
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I've been in similar situations and even cost me a great deal. I agree with HFFF and Goomba - laugh it off but be prepared to defend yourself.

Don't confront others by saying nasty things about her because that might make them think that you're only getting back at her. Show everyone that she is wrong simply by being yourself - like TheCrysCat said; people do notice what you and she are like thus she will eventually get what she deserves.

Most companies I know don't care about the characters of their employees as long as they get the job done. So show your superiors that you can perform - don't let this affect your work. Specially considering that you will soon need working reference from them. Show them that you can separate the personals and the professionals and can work with anyone. I know this is hard but try your best.

Hope everything works out for you.
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