I'm thinking.... still thinking... - Betta Fish and Betta Fish Care
 
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post #1 of 7 (permalink) Old 06-10-2011, 06:08 PM Thread Starter
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Lightbulb I'm thinking.... still thinking...

Thinking....
Can you guys help? I want to write a decent start of a fanmade warriors cat novel this summer. I got an idea but I'm not sure how to start. Don't you hate it when you have a great thing to say and won't get on paper? Well I do.

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post #2 of 7 (permalink) Old 06-10-2011, 06:11 PM Thread Starter
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Oh my start to the story:
Leaves rustled as Goosekit leaped for the mouse. The mouse wasn't quick enough to escape the flurry of claws and teeth that attacked it. Goosekit bit into the brown mouse's neck and ran back to the den.
That is what I have.

Hello, it's Frogipoi. If you need any help, fonts, or pixel bettas, please PM me. Thank you and good day.

Last edited by dramaqueen; 06-10-2011 at 09:08 PM. Reason: edited escaped to escape. :)
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post #3 of 7 (permalink) Old 06-10-2011, 08:38 PM
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I think it sounds really good. I want to know more now, LOL.
The only thing I suggest, is making sure you always try to write in the same tense, whether it is past, present or future.
The mouse wasn't quick enough to escape
Very good beginning, I think its great!

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post #4 of 7 (permalink) Old 06-11-2011, 05:43 AM Thread Starter
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Okay. I was always bad in grammar and english. Okay I will write more XD.
"Goosekit, you are too young to go out by yourself!" yowled Brighteyes.
Sparrowkit and Turtlekit looked at him and his big mouse.
"But I caught a huge mouse to feed my hungry sisters!" Goosekit exclaimed.
Flystar walked to Goosekit and licked his head. Goosekit looked at the clan leader in awe. Her smooth black and white pelt was cleaner than his dirty brown one. Goosekit walked over and licked Flystar on the shoulder.
"It is about time these kits are to be apprentices. Brighteyes, gather everyone up and I will get Shinystone," Flystar meowed. Goosekit started to shake. He was no longer a kit, but an apprentice! Well, almost.

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post #5 of 7 (permalink) Old 06-12-2011, 08:34 AM
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That sounds like a great story!
:D

"Life is an adventure full of beautiful things, and a treasure worth more than gold."
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post #6 of 7 (permalink) Old 06-12-2011, 11:18 AM Thread Starter
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Yayness! Does anyone have ideas?

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post #7 of 7 (permalink) Old 06-13-2011, 10:52 AM
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Great

RIP Russell
RIP Quicksilver
RIP Dominic

RIP 4 cories, 23 Ghost Shrimp, and a snail
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