Piercings - Betta Fish and Betta Fish Care
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post #1 of 26 (permalink) Old 04-19-2017, 10:16 AM Thread Starter
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Piercings

This is sorta a rant. Feel free to skip. I'm at the age where you're old enough to get piercings and young enough to be told no by your parents. I would really love to have my nose pierced. My mum doesn't have a problem with it, she got hers done when she was a tween and doesn't regret it. My dad, however, doesn't like them, and thinks I'm too young. I asked him why he thought I wasn't mature enough and he said because my room is not clean (I must admit, I think this is an acceptable reason) I asked him, 'anything else?' He said because I dislike ironing my clothes x_x. So then I asked if I kept my room clean till my birthday (three months away, so I'd be older AND proving my responsibility) could I get it done? Still no. I can't really promise much else, because I already have awesome grades (and a plan to go to college three years early!) I don't spend a lot of time on the computer, I don't game, text, or hang with people he doesn't like, I am mature, etc. I even pay for every non-necessary item myself, including my expensive fish stuff! I kinda feel like going ahead and doing it myself, I read a lot of tutorials and would do it safely. I know this isn't really a great option, but I'm tired of having my appearance ruled by my dad! Every time I buy new glasses, shoes, even a flipping SHIRT has to be 'approved' by him, so he'll let me wear it out. It's not because I dress immodestly or anything (I even wear hijab!) it's just because if he doesn't like it, he won't go out with me in it. I've started just wearing black button downs or men's clothes because he doesn't really have a problem with those. Recently though, he's told me I should dress more 'feminine.' Ugh. I'm not trying to look like a boy (I mean come on, no one's going to think I'm a boy if I have hijab on!) I just actually like dressing like that, as well as it being 'acceptable.' If I do go ahead and pierce my nose myself, I'll probably wait until after my birthday to see if he still says no. If he does, I'll just do it, and let him deal. I feel like it wouldn't be so much of a problem after it's done. I don't know, maybe I'm just being a rebellious teen, but this something I've wanted for as long as I can remember, even when I was a little kid I loved it when my mom wore her hoop.

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post #2 of 26 (permalink) Old 04-19-2017, 10:58 AM
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AGH I HEAR YA GIRL
I'm 15 and I totally hear ya on this. Sometimes it feels like my life is being ruled by my parents. Who I hang with, what websites I'm on, how I dress, etc... I mean, to some extent I understand this because they are trying to look out for me, but, sometimes it's like "Seriously? Let me do stuff!"
*sigh*

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post #3 of 26 (permalink) Old 04-19-2017, 11:04 AM Thread Starter
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I know! It's probably because we're at the age where you realize 'oh hey, I have different opinions and tastes from my parents!' I just keep thinking 'soon I'll be an adult!'
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Raspberry, Sunspot, & Onyx

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post #4 of 26 (permalink) Old 04-19-2017, 11:05 AM
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Ouch I empathize with your situation. My younger sibling is in a very similar situation. Although I am old enough to do anything and everything under the sun (heck I just filled my taxes) I still cant take her to get her ears done.

I wish you the best!


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post #5 of 26 (permalink) Old 04-19-2017, 12:15 PM
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I know how you feel all too well.. Only for me, it was my mother. She kinda backed off when I turned 18 and basically said to do whatever I want. I guess I was one of the lucky ones.

I am going to heavily suggest not doing it yourself. I have my nose pierced, and I got mine done by a professional. I have issues with infection despite cleaning it properly and getting it done by someone who knew what they were doing, using sterile tools. I don't want you to end up with a nasty scar from an infection from doing it yourself.


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post #6 of 26 (permalink) Old 04-19-2017, 12:39 PM Thread Starter
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Thank you! I've read a lot of tutorials and know how to sterilize everything, and I would use the proper equipment, but I'd probably chicken out anyway. The most rebellious thing I've ever done is probably post this thread lol.

My Bettas:
Raspberry, Sunspot, & Onyx

Meet me and my fish in my (somewhat neglected) journal:
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Custom Crochet/Amigurumi bettas for sale!
http://www.bettafish.com/140-betta-f...ml#post7762674
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post #7 of 26 (permalink) Old 04-19-2017, 01:45 PM
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Aquarium
I hear you all too well. I'm almost 30 now so I'm not dealing with it anymore, but when I was 14 I went ahead and put second holes in my ears myself, then at 17 pierced my own lip. My parents weren't too happy, but they got over it and I had no regrets.

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post #8 of 26 (permalink) Old 04-19-2017, 02:21 PM
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I understand how that is. I'm 19 now but when I was younger everything had to be passed by my mom.. I wasn't allowed to stay the night at classmates house without one of my brothers or my parents till I was 11. I did however when issues came up got to stay with our neighbors because my parents trusted them. However I didn't have my first friend over for my birthday till I was 14. And around fourteen I really wanted to get highlights. My dad was like "yeah sure if that's what you want" but my mom was like "nope not happening". I had to work really hard to be able to have friends over or to go over to friends. Lots of chores. It took me two years to convince my parents to let me get a cat. It only took a few months to convince them to let me get a fish tank. They didn't really have a say when I upgraded to 5 gallons because I bought them with my own money and my brother was 18 so he had a way to order online. Since then I've figure out using Christmas and my birthday is a good way to annoy my parents to get what I want. That and doing lots of household chores and begging. Now the only times I rely on them are when my tanks/laptop break or for ordering things online and getting a ride to friends houses and petstores. Which my only friend now lives downstate and only comes to visit her grandma every few months.

All I can say is it feels better to have their permission. Are there any chores you can do like laundry, dishes or cleaning/vacuuming/mopping floors? If your dad still refuses then maybe ask your mom to talk to him. Also keeping your room clean is a good way to get parents to give in. Specially if your the type of person to almost always have a dirty room. Then they will know your serious about wanting them. Its what I did with wanting a cat and guinea pigs. My grandma helped convince my mom with the guinea pigs because she was staying here for a week or two and saw me doing dishes and cleaning my bedroom like crazy because I saw an ad on a for sale site for two guinea pigs so I wanted to ask my parents. XD I regret getting guinea pigs though. They are messy! I had them for eight months before I couldn't stand their messes anymore. For about a month after I was still finding their cage bedding around my room and behind the stand they had been on. Anyways just show them your serious. Begging alone doesn't work all the time. And just keeping your room clean isn't all that much in their opinion. Helping with other chores is the best way. If you do chores already then do even more. Even ask to do other chores to pay for it yourself.
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post #9 of 26 (permalink) Old 04-19-2017, 02:26 PM
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Well it's better than your parents deciding to do stuff to you, my brother got his daughter's ears pierced and she hated them. I still harbor hatred against my parents for thing they did, that I cannot mention. So it was to my delight when I got my ears pierced that they disapproved, and I still revel in their disdain when I wear my potara earrings because they are not what they consider male earrings.

I'm actually trying to decide whether to get a second set in my earlobes or a industrial. They asked why, but being 34 I told them why not. Parents too often forget that their kids will get older and beyond their control.
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post #10 of 26 (permalink) Old 04-19-2017, 02:38 PM
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Personally, I'm finding this to be a very interesting discussion. On one hand, you should do what your parents tell you and listen to them because they know what's best. But, on the other hand, you can't let them control your life and, well, sometimes they don't always know what is best, if that makes sense.
Kinda like that saying "If everyone else jumps off a cliff, will you?"
Basically what I'm trying to say is that you should listen to your parents but you shouldn't do EVERYTHING they tell you to.
I think you should talk to your mom about it and I agree with maybe asking her to talk to your dad.
When I wanted a betta, I spent 9 months of keeping my room clean, doing loads of chores, and showing my parents betta sites (including this one) and randomly telling them betta facts to prove I knew what I was talking about. For me, the reason why it was a no is because my mom had bettas and other fish her whole life and hated cleaning the aquariums and didn't want to have to deal with one again. She didn't seem to realize that I AM 15 and can do this on my own and can make money to buy things my betta needs. My dad didn't want any pets in this house because he's just kinda a no-pet no-animal person. Which is sad because I love all animals and wish it was possible for one person to learn everything about every animal, because I'd love to do that. Anyways, my point is, I showed my parents I was mature and could do it and would work hard to do it and, eventually, they agreed and last Summer I got my first betta.
Anyways, long story short, try being like the best child ever for a while and talk to your mom about it :) Unless there's some real big reason why they say no, you should be able to convince them ;)

P.S. You're 15 too? @moodynarwhal
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