How can we improve bettafish.com? - Page 41 - Betta Fish and Betta Fish Care
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post #401 of 409 (permalink) Old 01-09-2012, 06:56 PM
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See what I mean how things can get misconstrued? Pitluvs was trying to be funny and it was construed as criticizing Banicks. It's how we say stuff and how it gets interpreted that starts arguements, IMO.
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post #402 of 409 (permalink) Old 01-09-2012, 07:02 PM
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Precisely. Rarely in chat lately, not had much to say when Miah and Diablo were chatting away.
Gotcha.

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See what I mean how things can get misconstrued? Pitluvs was trying to be funny and it was construed as criticizing Banicks. It's how we say stuff and how it gets interpreted that starts arguements, IMO.
Exactly, like my post to knats as well. I would have said the same thing in person, but maybe she/he? would have seen that I wasn't being an uptight nit picky wad face, but an adult who was just pointing out that it's not nice to lump people like that. No one likes to be lumped, and judged for something someone else does. We're all individuals from different areas of the world with different upbringing... we should be viewed as individuals. I don't think bad of knats at all! I actually feel bad that she/he feels that way about our younger members.


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post #403 of 409 (permalink) Old 01-09-2012, 07:08 PM
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When I first came to this website, December 2010, I came here for the acquisition of knowledge on how to keep bettas. I'm not sure how many people know/remember but I was probably on "bettafish's most wanted" within a few days for starting a topic in which people apparently couldn't hold onto their drawers about.

In any case, I was in a bad position. I didn't kiss anybody's bottoms, I EARNED my respect around here on this forum. Unfortunately a lot of people think they DESERVE respect the second they walk into the room. Now I don't mean I'm going to disrespect new people out of principle; I will be most courteous to them regardless. The one thing I really dislike about this forum now is how people think they deserve to walk on water just because they have a keyboard in front of them and can brag about their 4000 posts when they just racked posts up in chat threads. I agree with Banicks in which we should get rid of post count. And as stated MANY MANY times, post count does not equate knowledge.

Unfortunately this forum has turned into some child's schoolyard, in which, unless people are spitting up rainbows and glitter at each other, they're going to get reported. As Banicks said, some people need a HARD REALITY CHECK. There are only so many times I can calmly tell somebody that you can't feed pizza to your betta before I'm going to say: "Okay, stop telling people this!"

While I agree with Dramaqueen in the fact that there are many different opinions and experiences while keeping fish. Cold, hard, scientific facts are impossible to ignore, and those who try are just FOOLS. In this case, I do NOT see why we have to be accommodating to the lowest common denominator, because that is NOT how education works.

Another thing I see is a lot of people taking things far too personally. I have personally been reported by a member who didn't like it when I briefly wrote a post that apparently implied I laughed at them. I have no comment. -_-. This is the INTERNET. Don't go crying a river of tears and report somebody just because you don't agree with them or they were being mildly abrasive. Only God knows how these members handle stuff in real life. I cry for their future.

People honestly need to pull up their big boy/girl pants and just DEAL WITH IT. NOBODY is here to suck up to you, you're going to have to EARN that.

Just my exorbitant amount of change.

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post #404 of 409 (permalink) Old 01-09-2012, 07:15 PM
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Not trying to start anything here and I'll probably get flack for it, but you yourself told me that a person should report anything and everything they feel is bullying or what have you to the Mods, and ignoring it or ignoring said person is being cowardly. You just contradicted yourself. Sounds like someone didn't like what you said or did, and reported it. Should they have been cowardly and ignored you? You can't ignore people in real life after all.


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post #405 of 409 (permalink) Old 01-09-2012, 07:17 PM
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OH MY GOD.
STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT.

This has gone on way too long.

Just because I don't type with candy and rainbows doesn't mean I'm being mean.
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post #406 of 409 (permalink) Old 01-09-2012, 07:25 PM
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Not trying to start anything here and I'll probably get flack for it, but you yourself told me that a person should report anything and everything they feel is bullying or what have you to the Mods, and ignoring it or ignoring said person is being cowardly. You just contradicted yourself. Sounds like someone didn't like what you said or did, and reported it. Should they have been cowardly and ignored you? You can't ignore people in real life after all.
I know what post you're talking about, I wrote and meant the opposite. I said that I NEVER report anybody because it is cowardly to do so. If something says something I don't like, both on the forum or on real life, I deal with it personally (i.e. not cry about it personally but I mean I will face them myself on a mano-a-mano basis). The act of reporting is cowardly because it is asking somebody to fight your own battles. You will never learn nor will you ever grow.

As a better example, it is like "powerlevelling" a beginner in a video game. You get your level 100 player to fight monsters for your level 1 player. Sure that player will level up very quickly, but what have they learned? They don't know how to stand up for themselves.

Sorry if the message confused, didn't mean for it to be.

The only thing I said we should report is people consistently giving out horrible information (silly example but) such as MOSSBALLS CURE FINROT. XD

EDIT: Not sure if my memory serves me well here but I do remember you appreciating my thoughts on reporting but YOU were the one who said that you wanted to report everybody. Probably wrong though, I have awful memory when it comes to things OTHER people say

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Last edited by bahamut285; 01-09-2012 at 07:28 PM.
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post #407 of 409 (permalink) Old 01-09-2012, 07:26 PM
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Yes, but there's a big difference between actual bullying and what I've seen done on here. Yeah, a lot of these people are my friends, but that doesn't mean I don't disagree with them on some things.

Here's my experiences with bullying throughout middle and high school: in eighth grade I had a group of kids who thought that I was the most hilarious thing in the world and would make fun of me and laugh every time I walked by them. I had never spoken to them in my life before that. In ninth grade, I had one of my closest friends (and at that point in time, a safe haven from a lot of drama going on, and he *knew* that) convince me that one of his friends liked me, and I liked him, leading to me getting "rejected" by a guy I wasn't even going after and one of the most humiliating experiences of my life (at that time, at least).

Point is, that is so, so different than someone saying "Hey, this is wrong, can you please not say it anymore?" Bullying is vicious and without reason. What happened to me (and I didn't even have it that bad, compared to some other people) had nothing to do with my merit, what i was saying, or anything. It wasn't even remotely constructive criticism like I've seen here. A lot of people have gotten impatient with each other, but that's because they don't listen to reasoning before they go off and accuse them of being rude or snooty or anything of the sort.

Please, please don't call this bullying. If this is what it is to you, you've never seen what it truly is and the damage it can cause someone. The last incident messed me up so bad I had trouble talking and physically getting words out of my mouth. THAT is bullying.

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post #408 of 409 (permalink) Old 01-09-2012, 07:27 PM
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Pitluvs, bullying needs to be more defined.

What baha meant as an example, was that because someone interpreted her actions as bullying - a mod was told. You literally have to walk on glass around here lately otherwise it starts a flame war/cry session.

Bullying in my opinion is if you are being harassed unduely on these forums. Constructive criticism, outright and correct checking should not be considered bullying. People who consider this to be bullying have either been babied their entire lives and remind me of the little child who always 'dobbed' to the teacher any form of action against or in disagreement with said child.

In my opinion, there are some people who should not own animals because their mentality is simply so childish that they prove they are not capable of properly and maturely looking after them through their actions/statements on these forums.

I'm not pinpointing anyone in particular. In fact I know a lot of people had dislike for Miah and Diablo, but to my eyes Diablo was one of the most helpful members on these forums. Miah was helpful as well with her information, but her attitude was blatantly insulting - and I'm someone who has said previously I disregard any possibility of tone.

How is it cowardly to ignore? I do it quite often and it's surprising how many flame wars you avoid. I simply post facts and constructive opinions. Unfortunately because this is occurring it continues to allow issues to continue. This is where we need reality checks and unfortunately it will mean some are left behind until their attitude changes.
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post #409 of 409 (permalink) Old 01-09-2012, 07:34 PM Thread Starter
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Hi guys,

Sorry for not replying sooner. As I believe somebody said, I was sick for about a week and a half, and when I got better I had a ton of stuff to catch up on at work. Then of course the holidays rolled around and the rest is history. A number of team members have been following this thread closely, and I plan to find a way to put aside the time to catch up on what I've missed soon. A lot has been said, so I suspect it will take a while to give everything the attention it deserves, and of course to decide on what changes to make in response.

That said, if this thread were to continue accumulating posts while myself and others try to get up to speed, we will never be able to read it all and be in a position to address what's been said. For that reason, I am closing this thread since I think we have more than enough to go on as far as suggestions for changes. Thank you to everyone who has contributed and shared your thoughts, and thank you in advance for your patience as we digest and attempt to address them. We will start additional threads as necessary to announce changes and solicit additional input.
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