I feel so horrible. Help would be appreciated, rest in peace sweety, Icen.
My young little boy, Icen, died today. He was only 2-5 months old, and was very small.
I feel so horrible.
I was always so mean to him. By mean, I do not mean I didn't take care of him. He got his 100 water changes 2 times a week like the others, fed properly, a beautiful bowl and care. Verbally I was mean. I know fish can't hear us, but I feel so horrible. I would always say things like " You're so ugly " because he had raggedy fins and lost alot of color from the tiny tiny BABY FOOD jars the fish farm sold him in. That's always going to haunt me. I never laid a finger on him, or tried to hurt him in any way, just the " ugly " word I called him makes me feel so horrible.
I was just about to go to sleep, it was 2:04 AM here, and I was exhausted, but determined to stay up and watch Degrassi videos I've missed. So I finally am ready, and as always, before I go to sleep, I do a quick fish check. I look at the top of their bowls and check if it's all clean, check their eyes for ick and their fins for rot, and see if they're swimming, or sleeping. Heather, good. Brent, good. Suellen, good. Skyden, good. Aubin, good. Icen.. not so good. Garland, good.
He was stuck underneath a plant, and I guess couldn't get up for air.
If anyone can try to help me through this, please do. I'm hysterical right now, I feel so horrible for calling him ugly all this time, and not giving him as much affection as I do the others.
Thank you if you actually read all of this. Please remember, never say anything mean about someone who has done nothing to hurt, offend or make you mad, because if something happens to them, no matter if they're a fish, a cat, or another human, it will scar you and fill your heart with regret, making you contemplate your life and put you in deep sorrow.