No pun intended in the thread subject. It's actually been a really hard day for me.
It's hard losing a fish friend. It's even harder when you lose him/her by Euthanization. Here's Diablo's story.
Diablo was a Red CT, and the second of three Bettas that I got after getting back into the hobby. When I got him, he had ray curl, fin rot and was severely bloated. I thought I knew enough about Betta's to rescue and save him. He was living in a triple divided 10gal and had everything I could provide for him. He was never aggressive and he only ever flared twice that I'm aware of. He was pretty active at first, but slowly became more lethargic and was always hiding. Since he was bloated I only fed him 1 pellet and 1 blood worm a day, one pellet every other day, and fasted him 1 day a week to try to help with the bloat. I also tried the whole shelled pea, and salt bath thing, but nothing seemed to work. I stepped up the water changes to about 25% every other day.
I did as much research as I could on these forums and every other forum to see if there was anything else I could do, or what I could do differently. I was scared that if I tried too much it would just stress him even more and might be more hinder than help. Some days were better than others and it gave me hope. But about a week ago I noticed his breathing was really labored, and his scales were pine coning. I did what I could for the last week, but things just got worse. Knowing that very few fish ever recover from Dropsy, I felt that it was selfish for me to keep "trying" to help him. Today I decided to end his suffering and it ended up being a lot
harder than I though.
The Marine Corps gave me the mind set that giving up is failing. So I've never given up on anything. Ever. So this made me feel like I not only failed myself, but the little guy that was depending on me. I couldn't understand how I could become so attached to something in only a month. I'm a strong person emotionally, and it takes a hell of a lot to make me cry after some of the stuff I've been through in life. But having to Euthanize a pet yourself is one of the hardest things I've done. I feel guilty because I keep thinking there might have been something else I could have done. And trying to "rescue" a Betta with the issues he had was beyond what I was capable of.
I just hope I did the right thing and that he's in a better place now.