I completely understand, it's human nature to feel this way. Dogs naturally have positions in their packs, as you know. This is what their comfortable with. To tell a dog to get off the couch, he will not be thinking "she is so mean" he will either maintain leader position and stay on the couch or get off the couch and be perfectly content with it. Now, I would gently push this dog off the couch if he didn't listen and when he got down he would probably stare at me or try and get back up. Remember he is not thinking "well she sucks" he is thinking he is the alpha dog and he is challenging you for that position. I would in this case wait for the dog to show he is relaxed, then I would praise him with love, affection, attention or treats :) If a dog thinks he is the alpha dog he will push to be in that position and tell YOU what's what, if he knows you are the alpha dog he will be content in knowing so ! dogs are not humans, remember that ;) Be calm and assertive, your dog will feel this.