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Confessions of a horrible keeper

4K views 24 replies 16 participants last post by  Shepaski 
#1 ·
(long post)

Hello, my name is Shepaski...and I am here to admit that I am a horrible aquarium/fish owner.

I hope I am writing this is the correct section of the forum, this is like an introduction of myself and I am writing my greetings in this way because I don't want people to start scolding me when I ask a completely ignorant question or when they see how horrible I am treating my fish (though I am prepared to get scolded in the beginning). I come with an open mind to learn, and I now wish to learn how to care for my Betta fish properly.

I am what most people would see as a extremely "normal" Fish owner, or what i would like to classify as a human, who keeps fish's mostly as décor or for novelty because I like viewing a tank with fish swimming around, and I like the fact that I am keeping them.

Before I get going with the story, I shall list why I am considered a horrible owner.
My fish live in a 30 X 30 square tank. It's filtered with a H-300 Dolphin filter. And that is it, I have never considered to get a heater at all(despite the fact that the tank is in my room where my brother and I turn on the AC occasionally), I do not understand the use of adding a pump and i have never checked the pH level of the water in my tank

I own a bunch of corydoras, some otocinclus cat fish suckers. one balloon lamp eye fish, 2 black phantom tetras, 2 female bettas and 1 male betta. All of which are in the same tank, no divider what so ever

I currently have 2 sick fish in my tank, them being my Phantom tetra and one of my female Bettas. My female (named Tiny) is the reason why i have decided to come online and actually figure out things i never bothered to look up before. I noticed Tiny had some white growth on her head some months back, it looked like a wound and I, being your "average" owner didn't think to look twice when I fish saw the wound (or growth, i really don't know what i is). Thanks to my ignorance, roughly 2-3 months later, Tiny's head is now half eaten and now i have to put her down or let her die. please refer to this thread for pictures http://www.bettafish.com/showthread.php?t=124488.

In the past (and still in the present) I have never cared for any of my sick fish before in my 3 years of owning this tank. I've had about 8 betta fish die due to disease under me, 1 of which I..murdered.. each usually living up to a year or so before passing away. 3 out of these died because of my inexperience with tubiflex worms, 1 died because she jumped out of the tank and her head wound from drying up never healed, eventually catching Dropsy and dying. 2 males died, one from dropsy (my fish betta) and the other..i suspect from old age, but he was always hiding, and his color begun to fade with a slight case of fin rott (he was with me for 2 years but he was roughly 3 because he was adopted form my friend who bought him on impulse), 1 female passed away from dropsy. The only fish i ever murdered was a very territorial female I once owned who refused to allow any of the other fish to even go near the food in the tank, I flushed her down the toilet alive and I understand that i shouldn't have and regret that i ever did that. Also, because i have never heard of euthanizing a fish before(thought never crossed my mind). I left my Bolivian Ram in a bucket in the bathroom when it was unwell and waited for it to die.

All of these cases, I never bothered to look up the cause and methods to cure them (a trait passed down from the friend who got me started in all of this). But this time, because the wound on Tiny's face is so bad (literally half her face is gone including one eye) I really feel that I should start caring for my fish the way i would care for any other animal. Because i've still been doing it all wrong, because i've been neglecting them when they are sick.

Before i got into owning fish, i knew nothing about caring for them and my bettas would only last a month(or 2) under my care (no filter, wrong method of changing water). it was only until a friend of mine(then my bf) taught me how to keep my fish alive 3 years ago and since then the survival rate of my fish has been a lot better, in my current stock, some of my fish have been with me for a full 3 years and my last healthy female betta has been with me for about 2 or so years.

But as you can read all my wrong doings above, i think i'm not quite there yet when it comes to making my fish happy. Their basic necessities are there (minus the heater and pH lvl part) they're alive and well (for now)
but from what i see here on these forums, what i have is not nearly enough for my fish is it?
Currently i am waiting for all my fish to die out, but while i do that, i want to keep my current fish alive and happy with me, Rehoming them is a bit hard for my country where i am still unsure of how the betta fish community is like and my fish will most probably end up with another owner like me.
So i come here to learn and hope i can improve in caring for my fish more then i am now.

With this, i hope i can pick up a few things here. and i hope to path to becoming a better fish owner won't be as rough as i expect it to be, considering the amount of thing's I've done with my ignorance.
 
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#2 ·
Hi and welcome to the forum
Firstly don't beat yourself up too much about being a horrible owner, if everyone on here was honest they will admit to starting off with lots of mistakes and disasters.
Ok you will have to get used to doing regular water changes, 50% of your water changed every week.
(good clean water means good healthy fish) you don't want to change all of the water as it contains good bacteria that the fish need.
I won't go into the fish choice you have at the moment as they are in the tank with nowhere else to go, all we can do is help to make the fish a lot happier and healthier than they are at the moment.

So buy a heater, I hope you have a water filter, air pump for oxygenating the water?
If not go to your local fish stockist and buy them,, it is not expensive for a basic heater, air pump with tubing and air stone and a basic water filter, I do not know what equipment you already have but get what is missing from the list.
A bit of heat/oxygenation and filtration will make an instant change to your tank, within hours your fish will perk up and look a lot better.
All of this has to be in your tank before advice can be given about your sick fish
(you can pour medicine into your water,,,but if the water condition is poor it will not work)

Try all of this first, if you are stuck with anything just post it on here as there are loads of helpful members willing to give advice.
Ray
 
#3 ·
That's right Ray. Yes you messed up. And we called you on it in your other thread. But you are willing to learn from your mistakes and that is the most important thing. Heck, if I hadn't had a friend who is a total fish nut (I am allowed to call her that btw because she is and considers it a term of enderement :lol:), I would have probably made all the mistakes you did! Now, you have us to help you like she helped me :-D
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#4 ·
Welcome to the forum and like the first two posters...I agree, a lot of us most likely did a lot of what you did in the beginning.....What is most important IMO, is that you are here-ready and willing to learn.....

We have a lot of great members on this forum ready and willing to help-Keep an open mind with an understanding that there are many different ways to keep fish successfully. Sometimes you need to use bits and pieces of several different methods to make things work-Be warned that we also have some outspoken folks that have a great deal of passion for this hobby and might not come across as very nice-don't take it personally since they mean well.

You made the right decision in coming here and I am sure we can help get you on the right track and on the road to successful fish keeping. You are already successful in that- you know you need help and willing to listen and learn. Knowledge is power.....
 
#13 ·
be warned that we also have some outspoken folks that have a great deal of passion for this hobby and might not come across as very nice-don't take it personally since they mean well.
+1000000000000000000
 
#5 ·
Yip I made my mistakes, years ago heaters came with separate thermostats,, I didn't know this, stocked my tank with a load of fish and plants,,,was proud of it,,, woke up in the morning and the tank was boiling.
I only bought a heater but no thermostat.
At least I am brave enough to admit it.
I thought that I had better put this on here before Mandy put it on to embarrass me
Ray
 
#6 · (Edited)
IMAO! I'm sorry Ray but that is the most horrible yet funny thing I have ever heard! A boiling fishtank!?! Oh my God! I would have cried for a week! Those poor babies, but I gotta say, you made your first major mistake will style. Mine was stocking a tank with 1 male betta, 1 cory cat, 10 Ghost Shrimp, 3 Neons, and 1 Black Widow Tetra. I didn't know Black Widows were little psychos without schools and the thing KILLED all but 1 shrimp, killed my cory cat, and shredded my Betta's tail! I was mortified. The Cory was still alive, so I came on here to try to get some help. Found out Corys were schooling too and I needed at least 4! But that wasn't the half of it. I got chastised for everything I had done and what I should have done to prevent it. Then, people were nice and I realized that they were only trying to help and teach me an important lesson.
Posted via Mobile Device
 
#7 ·
I agree with above posts and yeah I've done some horrible stuff myself due to not really finding out what is involved with fish keeping.. I can remember my first beta, I bought a bowl lamp with a little tiny light, all pretty chrome, thought I was all get out, and had no conditioner, no heater, but a beta in there, and God only knows why it survived..I felt sorry for him, cuz water was cool, so I at least changed water, alot, but I ended up placing a tiny candle under lamp to try to keep him (water warm)..:( you know the rest I'm not gonna go into details...but yes I had and at "reds" sacrifice learned the hard way..
That was 15 years ago, and for past 7 years have read up on just about everything I can on fishkeeping and can truly say its my passion now, and yup knowledge is power!!! :D
 
#8 ·
I had my fair share of mistakes too...when I was 12 we got a 10 gal and stocked it with 6 neons, 5 cory cats, 1 pleco, 2 goldfish and a male betta, not cycled, added them all in one day. Neons started dropping dead, betta ate the neons, goldfish started floating upside down...who knows what happened to the corys, the pleco rotted and the betta was moved to a vase to live off the roots of a lilly....one bad home to another...but I didnt know any better. I lost all those fish, lost several bettas due to the stupid vase. I got out of fish for years....then a few years back I rescued moms neglected betta...from there on out I began to learn and grow in fish keeping. Took a couple years off and now back into it better than ever before! This sites been a lot of help! Good luck with your future fish keeping and welcome!
 
#9 ·
Thanks all.
i had to post this so that i get this all out or else people will just get the wrong idea and misunderstanding will happen which is not what i'm looking for here.

already purchased a heater and a thermometer for my tank and i understand now..why my friend never bothered to tell me to get a heater. I live in a tropical country and when i placed the thermometer in without turning the heater on, the temp of the water in my tank was already 84.4F. Guess i only need it if i'm turning on the AC in my room.

the only thing now is to set the curtains up (cos my tank is very close to the window) and see what else is needed to be done for my current fish.
especially the tank maintaince part, so far i'm only changing 50% of the water once a week and swiping the glass.
 
#10 ·
Yep! I am still ini the making mistakes stage... And I was somewhat prepared! Only thing I didn't know I needed was a heater... but I think that cost me big time... For some reason I guess I got a delicate betta. He is very suseptible... either that, or I bought him with some underlying problems already, who knows.

BUT I am learning to treat him! So if I get another betta, I will know exactly what to do at the first sign of illness! So sad we have to learn through mistakes, though :/

I must say, though, these people on here are VERY helpful. Just be careful with the outspoken ones, like OFL said. For the most part I've had some very kind and considerate people help me.
 
#11 ·
Oh yes! I have made my share of mistakes and so has everyone else, but everyone on here is so helpful. Most only get harsh if your are mistreating your pets and not willing to try to help them. I had a few nearly run me off when I goofed up with my babies, but I'm glad I stayed. They have all helped me out more than once and advised me on things before I did them to make sure I prevented mistakes (which I am sure I would have made PLENTY of if I had just googled stuff instead of ask these guys).

Wow! That's some warm water! Almost too warm! If we would have known that, we wouldn't have been bugging you about the heater. Thank's for letting us know. :)
 
#12 ·
I have read both threads. I must say- I am glad you came to the realization that you need to make some changes. You are in Singapore, so you can probably find a few people really into betta keeping and/or expertise. They might offer medicine, knowledge or spare tanks. It costs you nothing to do the research to find these people.

So your tank - is it like this - http://www.adgshop.com/30cm_Cube_Garden_p/102-870.htm 7.5 gallons approximately. This would be fine for the 2 female bettas (though there would be fighting with less than 4 females).
Craft stores, dollar stores, markets - anyone selling buckets and tanks and bowls would benefit you at this point. Since you don't need heaters for all of them (since your house temp is already pretty warm) this will be fine to start medicating all the fish. I don't remember which other fish are in there but how many of each type? Oto's and cories and what else?

You might want to tread carefully around the whole waiting for them to die thing. Most members here might disagree that it is a good idea since you are stepping around the fact that you have an over population problem now which has caused some serious disease. Most people here are for the medication path: medicate and treat the fish you have now and wish for them to live their natural lifespans. For a betta, that is up to 5-7 years. I don't know about the other fish you have.

I'm glad you came with an open mind though- it's great you are willing to change some things about fish keeping. Keeping a cycled tank with the appropriate amount of fish is a very rewarding and relaxing hobby. I keep my 5g tank on my desk so when I'm working on school work I can look over at them and interact with them. I have my tank set up so it's pleasing to see, colors are complimentary to my fish's so it's still decorative and they have a suitable environment to thrive. You can do this too. IT will just take a bit of doing.

And you want horror stories? One of my tanks when I was a kid was made with those big blue water jugs people have in offices. The top was sawed off and I kept about 4 or 5 goldfish in it. My res turtled lived in a small stainless steel baking bowl for close to a year. My old 5 gallon tank had 3 gourami's, 2 cory doras, 2 rosy barbs, a male betta and at one point for a small period a dwarf puffer fish.
 
#16 ·
I don't remember which other fish are in there but how many of each type? Oto's and cories and what else?
the picture could not load, but if it's a 30cm cube tank it should be the one.

i have 1 balloon lamp eye fish, 1 black phantom tetra, about 4 cories. i think i only have 2 oto's left but i use to have more and 1 male betta.

that's the current stock in my tank since putting down my half headed girl and giving away my last one who suddenly had a big problem moments ago.

It took courage for the OP to make this post. I hate it when people cannot admit mistakes. I was clueless about betta care until I found this forum. Now thanks to members here im pretty confident that my betta get good care. The problem for me now is trying to shut when while shopping at the lfs. They dont appreciate me telling them that their bowls are full of ammonia, betta require heaters in Canada, and that tiny little plastic no filter half gallon he is selling a 6 yr old kid will require daily water changes. I try to be nice about it but feel the urge to educate lfs staff about the myths taht the industry carries on with in the betta department. Some lfs have improved others just go "oh No" its him again".
i believe we have many many people here where i live who don't know Betta's need at least 2 gallons. heck even i didn't know at all! i use to keep all my fish in a small rectangular tank that's 3 times smaller then my current one. note that i use to have at least 5 females, 3 cories and 2 otos in that small tank before i switched to my aunts 30cm cube one because i felt they needed more space. they sell "specialized" betta tanks here which i think are still too small.
before i came here, my logic was, as long as your fish don't start dropping like flies after adding new ones, the amount of fish in your tank is okay.
never knew that you actually needed 2 gallons for 1 betta
 
#15 ·
It took courage for the OP to make this post. I hate it when people cannot admit mistakes. I was clueless about betta care until I found this forum. Now thanks to members here im pretty confident that my betta get good care. The problem for me now is trying to shut when while shopping at the lfs. They dont appreciate me telling them that their bowls are full of ammonia, betta require heaters in Canada, and that tiny little plastic no filter half gallon he is selling a 6 yr old kid will require daily water changes. I try to be nice about it but feel the urge to educate lfs staff about the myths taht the industry carries on with in the betta department. Some lfs have improved others just go "oh No" its him again".
 
#17 ·
Shepaski, as others have said, do not beat yourself up too much about your lack of knowledge and education. If you simply went by the Pet shop's instruction then a betta would be fine in a small unfiltered, unheated, probably highly cholorinated bowl. They are considered an 'easy' fish and there are plenty of cool, contemporary bowls that make them just an accessory for your room. i.e. : http://www.petsmart.com/product/index.jsp?productId=12171515&f=PAD/psNotAvailInUS/No

The 'buying perks' make Bettas very alluring and so does the fact that they are very hearty fish. But as you probably know, just because they can survive doesn't mean they will enjoy. There is a big stigma on these fish--whether you're an expert on Aquarium fish or not. As a general rule, salt water or larger fresh water fish are considered to take quite a bit more work. They come in plastic bags and are somehow considered to be more fragile. Bettas, in contrast, are very pleasing to the eye, come pre-packaged in a bowl, and have aquariums/food directly under them. It seems to be an easy one-stop shop for any person. But it's not.

Like you, when I first started with a filtered, no heated tank and I honestly did not perform weekly water changes, nor did I give a variety of food. It was only in the past 2 years that I become very aware of my fishes needs and was proactive about providing them. I researched like crazy and referred to this site numerous times (before I joined it) because it seems to be the only authority on Bettas. I am happy that you are choosing to learn more now and I hope that you will do better in the future once you learn about proper care. Give yourself some credit because most people will not even bother looking on ways to improve their betta's life.:)
 
#18 ·
This forum is an excellent place to gather information on fish keeping. I knew months ago that bettas liked more space, so I bought my fish a 2 gallon tank to replace his tiny glass bowl. I did not know they needed regular water changes or a heater, and so I just cleaned out the tank (100%) whenever the algae got so bad that I could no longer see my fish. Despite the fact that these fish were living in terrible conditions, most of my previous bettas lived 2+ years! My late male betta, Scully, had the worst case of fin/body rot I had ever seen and that is what really opened my eyes and brought me to this forum. Now I know that they need warm, clean water, and I can definitely see the difference. My current fish are more active, more colorful, and generally happier than my previous fish. The satisfaction from this was so great that since November I have accumulated a grand total of 13 bettas! It's very rewarding once you get it right, the happier the fish the more entertainment you get out of watching them and that's the whole point of having a fish tank!

So glad you are now doing your research and trying to keep your fish happy, it's totally worth it!
 
#19 ·
Very glad you are interested in taking care of your fish! We all make mistakes and we all regret things but the good thing is you want to take care of them properly! I admit I have screwed up SO many times with my Bettas! One time one of my fish had fin rot and it was treating him for it and i had him in my hospital tank and brought it with me to the room were i keep my fish medicines but set it down to check something outside for a minute and I just HAD to leave the topless tank next the the cat food on the dryer! and wile I was outside the cat terrorized him and he died! I was so mad at myself for being so stupid! But this forum has helped me grow in my knowledge and love for fish and I hope you find it as helpful as I did!
 
#21 ·
My mistake at the start was having two males and two females in the same tank. First male was already sickly so he died, second female got egg bound and died. (After this I seperated the remaining two) Second male got dropsy eventually and died. Second female, the stubborn most hard working to survive fish I have ever had, died last night. At the age of seven. SO yeah, I've made mistakes to. But buying her was the proudest mistake I've made, especially once I seperated them. One time she evn blew a ubble nest, BY herself, and put actual eggs in it
 
#22 · (Edited)
ugh, well, currently my progress in caring for these fishes hasn't really improved.

the Female I rehomed to my friends place died awhile ago, though we're not sure of the cause since she looked as if she was recovering from Dropsy, then one day she just became less active and passed on.

the male I had awhile a go caught dropsy as well after I skipped a week on water change as I was busy.
at the moment i got a new fella who's got a really nice personality, it's been 3 days since he's been in the tank and he seems to be doing fine. (though i am a bit worried, he doesn't really display his fins and there're usually folded when i'm not playing with him. but he does swim around and actively follows my finger when he starts to stare at me for too long)

all my other fish seem fine though, i hope there's nothing wrong with my water or gravel that causing this reoccurring illness...
my tanks a 5.9 gal (just found out as its a 30cm by 30cm square cube tank, but online gallon calculators are funny)

would it be a good idea to get a gavel vacuum? i've never cleaned the substrate before(only once when i was replacing it but that was about 4-5 months ago) and i don't really know how since i have 4 corydos in my tank
 
#24 ·
Yeah you should get a gravel vac. The corys wont mind in fact they need clean substrate to keep infection from their barbles. I use vac every time to remove water. Getting the little poops out is key to keeping ammonia down and bacteria from trying to explode. You have no idea how clean a tank is until you vacuum it as even my clean looking tanks have lots of poops in the substrate. Clean is the best and most affordable way to keep fish healthy and diseases at bay.
 
#25 ·
i did a regular 50% water change and scrubbed the very obvious algae out of my ornaments a few days after getting the new guy. though i don't know how to get the algae off my plants, starting to get fuzzy algae bits near the roots on the plants on my coconut husk.

Yeah you should get a gravel vac. The corys wont mind in fact they need clean substrate to keep infection from their barbles. I use vac every time to remove water. Getting the little poops out is key to keeping ammonia down and bacteria from trying to explode. You have no idea how clean a tank is until you vacuum it as even my clean looking tanks have lots of poops in the substrate. Clean is the best and most affordable way to keep fish healthy and diseases at bay.
okay, waiting to get my months pay before i go off to buy more stuff for my tank, have yet to get those test kits :s
 
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