Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Coastal Georgia
This has been a really rough day...beyond rough really. I woke up to my second dead betta in two days, I had to take my dog, Cody to get his nails trimmed at the salon because clipping them has always been a battle and stressful on us both. Watching him get them done through the window was really hard on me, one because I knew he was scared, and two, because I felt like a bad owner by not ever being able to get him used to it no matter what method I had tried. I actually broke down crying in the middle of Petsmart. I felt so guilty, about the fish, about the dog, about hubby working 20 hour days, and me unable so far to find a job.
My daughter is still not speaking to me, and I just found out a few days ago that her grandmother, my exes mom has heart cancer..and I can't even be there to comfort my little girl, because she hates me.
My brother is in psych ward again, and I don't know where or how to get a hold of him...I have had to handle everything around here lately because of hubby's extreme hours, and we still have barely any money. In the past two days I've cut the back lawn, weed wacked all of it, raked and burned the debris, taken care of all the animals myself, done dishes, grocery shopping, paid bills, mopped floors, and applied for jobs. I should be learning my lines for the first read through of the play coming up on Oct. 15, but my days just run out of hours. It is after midnight now..the dogs are sleeping, fish are all okay for now, hubby is asleep, though I feel guilty I didn't make dinner tonight for him..and all he ate was some snacks. Here I sit, exhausted, but don't want to sleep yet. I took my "nerve med", got some chocolate and pepsi...what a combo huh? Now, if I just had someone to hold me, let me cry myself out, tell me it's all okay. I'm 51 years old and "I want my mommy". I'm a mess.
*Buddy Blue CT *Beau Bryce VT
*Brady Bliss VT *Bayou Beck OHM
*Benjiro Baha DTHM *Kahuna Kai HM
*Kyoshi Kano Dumbo SD