Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Orange/Ulster County, New York
Ah, it got better, then worse..
Mood: 8 then 2
Stress: 7 then 5
Around 9, I had two friends come over and we hung out in my room for 2 hours. We listened to music, talked about my fish, and told stories. I literally had a great time, and although we rarely see each other, it was nice to be with some friends that hnoestly don't know what's going on and can just enjoy you for who you are.
Then around 11:30, we had a birthday party set up, and 12 was the birthday party itself. Well, once things started going, things started getting overwhelming. Some people became flat out rude to others, and some just ignored the others. There was a lot of rudeness and inside problems with each other that I, one who is neutral in a lot of this, began to get overwhelemed. I wish I could go into specifics about this, but I can't for fear of who will see this.
But overall, I really wish I could just turn off my friendship with someone with no consequences. Sometimes I just want to leave this school and go by my self.
It's sucks to have such a bad feeling.
I've realized about myself something interesting though. If I ever have an "up" period n which I feel amazing, I do something or go somewhere that with or without my knowledge, will bring me "down." I can spend a total of 2 hours feeling great about myself and my life, but 10 hours after that, I will feel like I'm useless and hate myself.
It's just a continuous up and down, and I don't enjoy this as my life.
I'm going to try to focus on the positives, but it's so hard when there's so few.
Baby Buddha(M VT) ~ Oddball (M-DeTxHM)~ Little Chai ~ Lucky(F oto)
I seem to have a problem with collecting things with scales and fins. Oops