lilnaugrim's Betta Fish Journal - Page 65 - Betta Fish and Betta Fish Care
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post #641 of 5295 (permalink) Old 10-09-2013, 10:25 AM Thread Starter
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So nothing I do is good enough for my boss, this is the third time I've "Screwed up" as he so lightly puts it and I'm effing tired of hearing that phrase.

Okay so we've got five vans with the licence plates; 1942, 1956, 1369, 1138 and 1727. Now I'm in charge of these van's and putting out the key's and approving people's request for them for field trips for the building and their classes. They're also used for labs for when they need to go out and collect samples. Occasionally we have the people who don't return their key's after they go out, they come in the next day or so. Now the issue with that is that I need to use these key's for the next person who needs them. Each van has two set's of key's so usually that's not too much an issue.

Now my biggest thing was this past weekend one of our guy's took the two van's out: 1727 and apparently 1138 however I did not fill out the envelopes, my boss Nasir did. It was also not on the calendar so how am I to know that these key's went out? So yesterday I had taken all the envelopes in from Monday and start to prepare to put the new ones out for Tuesday. How I do it is I take out all the key's and put them back in their binder's first to see if anyone is missing. And then I take out the trip tickets which is just a little paper where you write the mileage or are supposed to, half the people don't do it which pisses me off. And then I put them back in the folder to take out the new ones for the new day.

Yesterday I noticed two key's were out, 1727 and I swear it was 1369, I absolutely swear it because these two are the least used so I notice when they're out because it's not normal. So I wrote a note to my boss since I don't technically work on Tuesday and he doesn't get in till 9. I told him the two key's were missing if this person from the weekend hadn't turned in their key's yet which they've been known to do in the past.

So wrote him a note and came in today and he starts off by saying "So...what's going on?" and that always mean's that I've "screwed up" so I'm like....what the hell did I do now? So he continues to ask about the note I wrote and why I saw 1727 and 1369. Apparently he looked out in the lockbox where the key's go out and said he saw the key he won't even let me get a word in when I try to tell him that I saw the key missing before I even put any other key's out and that Sidio had brought the key's back last night so I had both 1727 and 1369. He told me that Sidio had used 1727 and 1138 which he was right, so which leads me to say that me, being dyslexic and ADHD, had switched around the numbers. But I swear that 1369 was also missing and this is before I even sent out the new keys. I looked to see who had it last and the last person was Friday, the key's had not been used and we were returned so how the hell was 1369 missing if no one used it and it suddenly pops up?

He starts to give me this spiel about how it's important to pay attention and that I should be taking more care in which I agree but I haven't told him about my disability, he has no idea although he's gotten quite the taste of it. So question, how the hell do I tell him that I've actually been sick lately, the meds are making me so sick in the morning that it's a struggle for me to eat breakfast. Normally I down breakfast like there's no tomorrow, it's my favorite meal after all and I CANNOT skip it! Two Monday's ago I was sick and didn't even come into work after calling him and today sick again but I came back in.

So how the heck do I tell him I've been sick without looking like a fool because I know I don't look sick, I hardly ever do even after I've thrown up in the girls bathroom...and then of course when I'm feeling anxious, or moody or depressed, I can never stay that way. I'm always smiling and cheery so people never believe me when I say I'm actually depressed and it's infuriating. I hate crying in front of people (who does, seriously) and I know that if I start to talk to him I'm just going to burst out in tears from weeks of building up all this pressure.

I'm sorry to vent on you guys but obviously I needed to talk to someone. Facebook seriously isn't the place to do it and I'd vent to my best friend but normally it's the other way around and I'm not there when she's there and visaversa so it's hard to see her I really need to just talk to someone other than my mother though and just give a good cry.

On a good note I just got permission to use the microscopes at school! Linda is the best she even showed me where the alcohol is placed so I can sanitize the place after I use it. And because next week is Columbus day, apparently all labs are out for the week which means I can use any darn microscope I want to at any time! So I think next week I'll euthanize one of my girls, one of the more worse ones and take her in to examine her. It's between Mystique, Cherry and Raven since they're the worse of the bunch but neither are bad enough to die :-/

I'm thinking just to do it with Mystique since she's the biggest which will make it easier to cut and look around, Cherry is tiny and literally all bone so I don't think I could ever do it on her just because she's so small, same with Raven actually. Sorry if I gross anyone out by talking about it. Anyway, trying to get commissions done :-/

Rembrandt II, Suiché
Leopards: 1:4 Hawkeye, Luna, Astrael, Dorian, Cullen
Gargoyle: Cloudjumper and Toothless
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post #642 of 5295 (permalink) Old 10-09-2013, 01:49 PM Thread Starter
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So I switched around Selkie's tank when I did her water change ^_^ I like it now I think she does as well.

And she still looks like a fat harbor seal lol

Rembrandt II, Suiché
Leopards: 1:4 Hawkeye, Luna, Astrael, Dorian, Cullen
Gargoyle: Cloudjumper and Toothless
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post #643 of 5295 (permalink) Old 10-09-2013, 02:55 PM
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Eeeee Rembrandt is just so handsome. I freaking love the little "fat harbor seal" <333, she's so adorable.

I can understand how you feel with your boss. I have a horribly bad memory so whenever I do something, if someone second guesses what I did, I really start to second guess if what I thought I did was actually done. Then I drive myself crazy analyzing it all. It can get quite frustrating. As for telling your boss you're sick, can you get some sorta doctor's note? I feel when it comes to telling school/work that you're sick when it's something that isn't so physically seen or if it's side effects from medicine, that a doctor's note does the trick. It's cut and dry and leaves out you having to be emotionally involved with explaining.

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post #644 of 5295 (permalink) Old 10-09-2013, 03:33 PM
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I'm sorry about all the trouble you're having with your boss :(. Selkie is so cute though!

"Animals are reliable, many full of love, true in their affections, predictable in their actions, grateful and loyal." ~Alfred A. Montapert

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post #645 of 5295 (permalink) Old 10-10-2013, 08:20 AM Thread Starter
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Apparently Selkie ate out of my mom's hand! Err...finger but still! She was so afraid of fingers before but my training with her finally paid off ^_^ my mom was super excited and texted me all about it lol. She's so funny, she doesn't want to take care of anything but if it just happens to be there, she's totally all over it XD

Yeah, I have another doctor's appt. next Thursday, so next week. I'll see about getting a note from my doctor. I feel like my doctor doesn't believe me either though >.> if I just had a learning disability rather than full onset ADHD, why would he prescribe me meds? It's kind of scary how willing they are to just get you meds and get done with it....when I first went to him I wanted to be tested not just get meds. I wanted to find out what was really up but he wouldn't listen.

Gee, I seem to have this theme with guys and not listening to me....sigh....Thanks guys though, I'm glad to have your support for sure.

Oh and I got my 20 gallon long stand in last week, that's now at mom's. AND the seller selling me Piple Tails and that female finally got back to me on Tuesday, geeze like a whole week away! And they're being shipped to Linda on October 14th and then I should have them like a week after or so! I'm super excited to see him! I have the 3 gallon QT tank ready for him to chill in while I finish getting the 20 gallon long tank with the help of Lucillia and then I have to get Eco-Complete and then plants to plant it with and eventually move everyone over ^_^ it's going to be quite the change over for them, that's for sure! But it should be good

Rembrandt II, Suiché
Leopards: 1:4 Hawkeye, Luna, Astrael, Dorian, Cullen
Gargoyle: Cloudjumper and Toothless
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post #646 of 5295 (permalink) Old 10-10-2013, 09:35 AM
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Can't get over her! She's too cute!

Really bites about your boss and your illness/med troubles. I don't have any advice, but Drs note sounds good. And if your doctor doesn't listen to you I would press you to find a new doctor, if that's possible. It's so essential to have a doctor who listens and actually checks out your concerns. I've realized how important it is after dealing with jerky doctors, and actually more so after realizing how much I push for people to be advocates for their pets in medical situations and research, that I was never doing it myself!
Anyway I hope you can get all your ails under control soon and stop feeling crappy!
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post #647 of 5295 (permalink) Old 10-10-2013, 09:40 AM Thread Starter
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Thanks Quinn! This doctor is fairly new, I've been seeing him since just about the beginning of June so I thought I'd give him at least six months. He's a great guy but I know that doesn't matter much if he's not a good doctor. But yes, thank you much!

Rembrandt II, Suiché
Leopards: 1:4 Hawkeye, Luna, Astrael, Dorian, Cullen
Gargoyle: Cloudjumper and Toothless
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post #648 of 5295 (permalink) Old 10-10-2013, 03:28 PM
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I have a friend who has all kinds of health issues, chronic fatigue and fibromyslgia being the main ones and she went to some kind of psychologist, I forget the title, to have her memory tested. He told her that her health problems were psychosomatic!
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post #649 of 5295 (permalink) Old 10-10-2013, 04:33 PM Thread Starter
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That kind of makes sense :-/ I know that us younger people of this age are much more stressed than the older generation growing up since we live in such a faster paced world now. I was listening to a study about it and how my generation and ages around me are much more forgetful because of this stress that we're under, not saying that older people aren't, but it was just something interesting. So I can see where my "ADHD" would be more psychosomatic rather than full on ADHD. I know I don't have full on ADHD, I do know that I have some sort of learning disability where I have issues focusing and with dyslexia.

My little brother is full on ADHD and I know that I'm much more relaxed than he and not hyper it's just my attention span sucks.

Yeah I think I need a new doctor since I'm a little intimidated to speak to him since he kind of rushed me into all this. I mean, I did ask to be tested and he asked why and I answered but I didn't expect to be put on meds for's like he's not a doctor at all and I'm playing doctor for him >.> I know that's many people's issue in this world; they just want the medications because they think it's an almighty cure so their doctor just say 'yeah, here you go, have fun!' and let's them run off....that's not how it should be operating >.< to find a good doctor?

Oh wow, Rembrandt has been flaring like crazy! He's sitting there, looking at me and flaring...I tried to reduce the reflection by putting the light directly on the tank but obviously that didn't help...before it was clamped on the back so it was sort of shining in but also shining a spotlight on my bed >.< So I like the lamp placed directly on the tank but I don't think he does..... hmmmm

All other fishies are well!

Rembrandt II, Suiché
Leopards: 1:4 Hawkeye, Luna, Astrael, Dorian, Cullen
Gargoyle: Cloudjumper and Toothless
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post #650 of 5295 (permalink) Old 10-10-2013, 05:43 PM
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I had a history teacher who had ADHD. Least to say, we never gave him chocolate for Teacher's Day. So I bought him a Subway card

At night, when I turn the fish tank lights off, my bettas go crazy and flare for an hour.

"To give them, however small and fragile they may be, a second chance to show their golden hearts."
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