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Old 07-09-2012, 09:36 PM   #13771 
Shirleythebetta
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That's too bad. I love your user name though.
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Old 07-09-2012, 09:39 PM   #13772 
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Yeah I plan to but my dad, I'm unsure of how he will react. He is an hard one to predict. On the one hand he thinks gays are not right and don't deserve equal rights but on the other hand he takes very little seriously.

My mom would probably scoff at first and be slightly disgusted but then accept me anyway. She knows I am not a manly man and we're closer than I am with my dad.

My brother though oh man, I will never hear the end of the laughing and jokes. I can just hear it now "don't turn your back on him"....ok that is kind of funny but still wrong!XD

All in all it's hard to tell how any of them may react. There is always the chance they will turn on me and I'll have to cut ties and run. :(
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Old 07-09-2012, 09:52 PM   #13773 
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That is rough and scary. I couldn't imagine being in your position but I will say that you have to be true to you no matter what they think. Show them you love them but you aren't willing to compromise yourself for anyone. Even though family is important I think of it this way, if they are truly family they will love you no matter what and accept your feelings. You can't change something like this in my opinion. You are who you are.

Like me, my mother-in-law can't stand me most of the time and has told me so. It's because she can't get me to do all of her house work and yard work. Also because I voice my opinion and she doesn't scare me because she has a big mouth like she scares the rest of the family. Remember, thunder is just noise... lol.
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Old 07-09-2012, 09:53 PM   #13774 
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The fact that you're gay doesn't change the person you are inside. You'll still be the same person they knew before finding out.
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Old 07-09-2012, 09:55 PM   #13775 
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the kinetic* "My brother though oh man, I will never hear the end of the laughing and jokes. I can just hear it now "don't turn your back on him"....ok that is kind of funny but still wrong!"

I want to say something about this quote too. This is one thing that always agravated me about straight men when dealing with my gay friends. Why do straight men think that all gay men want them?! I here coments like "as long as you don't hit on me were cool" ego much? What makes them think they are so hot that a gay men will want them when most women don't?
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Old 07-09-2012, 09:56 PM   #13776 
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Originally Posted by dramaqueen View Post
The fact that you're gay doesn't change the person you are inside. You'll still be the same person they knew before finding out.
perfectly said.
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Old 07-09-2012, 10:04 PM   #13777 
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I know, and I'm almost sure they will understand though they are going to have a few words to say. I just dread it becuase I have anxiety problems as it is in awkward situations and I hate conflict. Besides I think they know it anyway.

I am totally true to myself, I have to be. I spent so many years lying to myself and trying to be something I was not. Admitedly at first I didn't understand why I just didn't care about being with a girl, then out of panic or fear I tried to be straight but when women hit on me I just couldn't say with any truth I liked them. And so I've spent so many years alone, and finally just had to stop the lies for my own sake.

And I can say that I've never had so much peace of mind than I do now. :)
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Old 07-09-2012, 10:09 PM   #13778 
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the kinetic* "My brother though oh man, I will never hear the end of the laughing and jokes. I can just hear it now "don't turn your back on him"....ok that is kind of funny but still wrong!"

I want to say something about this quote too. This is one thing that always agravated me about straight men when dealing with my gay friends. Why do straight men think that all gay men want them?! I here coments like "as long as you don't hit on me were cool" ego much? What makes them think they are so hot that a gay men will want them when most women don't?
Well lucky for them I have an excellent sense of humor, I'd probably reply with something like "it's ok you're not my type anyway, I like handsome guys".
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Old 07-09-2012, 10:11 PM   #13779 
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Lol.
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Old 07-09-2012, 11:21 PM   #13780 
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Oy, time to vent...
IT ALL BEGAN WHEN I WAS BORN. Seriously. My mom and dad weren't married (still aren't) when I was born; well, my dad was, but to the mother of my older half-brothers. My parents never maintained an actual relationship, so my dad visits every two weeks. This has been the agreement for 15 and a half years. My mom has her own parental issues (not issues WITH them) where her mother kept her biological dad from seeing her (my grandma remarried and moved to the US) until well into her teens, BUT ANYWAY my mom decided then and there when I was born that she wouldn't keep me from my dad. She wouldn't do that to him.
My dad is great and all, but remember how I mentioned my half brothers and their mom before? Well, after years of my dad steadily becoming less of a coward and slowly letting his family and friends know that my mom and I exist (did I mention we're practically a secret?), my two older brothers and their mother STILL don't know they've got a little sister. My mom went through a similar situation (our family is pretty messed up) so she also decided that I would know of my brothers as soon as I was able to understand speech. My dad objected to it, of course, but he can't really do anything about it now, a decade later.
When I started middle school I started going to my brothers' football and baseball games. It was nice because I felt closer to them in a small way. When that started I was hoping that my dad was getting close to finally telling them, but four years have passed and I've pretty much lost all hope now that the older of the two has graduated from high school. My dad claims he could tell them right now, but he's apparently on bad terms with the younger one and wants to fix things with him before dropping the bomb. I guess I understand that, but why couldn't he have 'dropped the bomb' a year or two ago when he was on BETTER terms with him? or better yet, told them the truth YEARS ago when they were small like I was told. I just get so frustrated about it because my dad really is an awesome guy now that he's calmed down with age, and I love him a lot, but I just don't understand why it's so hard. He's told his own parents already, and I've met them, but I'd think that telling your parents you had a love child with another woman when you were still married would be harder than telling at least the ex. Blah. I dunno. Rant over.
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