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Old 09-09-2012, 01:26 PM   #1 
MrNighttime
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When your loved one says "Just flush him."

So as I have posted elsewhere, my male Pickle has lost a fin. He is struggling it seems. I got him as a pet/project for my daughter when she cae to stay with us for the summer. We picked him out, the decor, everything.

My fiance, who clearly isn't attched to the fish as I am, tells me that I need to flush him and get it over with. She says he is like a 3 legged dog or blind cat now. She wants me to just "get rid of him" and doesnt want me to get anymore fish as "obviously you can't take care of them". I couldn't figure that one out. "It's just a freaking $3 fish for crying out loud and we can get rid of that tank".

Try as I might I can't convince her that it is hard to "just flush him". ANyone ddeal with this and any advice?
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Old 09-09-2012, 01:38 PM   #2 
LadyVictorian
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DON'T DO IT HIS TAIL WILL GROW BACK.

And I think it's heartless to say blind cats or three legged dogs should be killed. I know those animals can still live full lives. I know two three legged dogs who are just as happy as four legged dogs and I HAVE a blind cat who is just peachy thanks. People don't even realize he is blind because his whiskers help him feel around his home.

Also it's animal cruelty to flush a living fish. I would say if she makes it a it's me or the dog...pick the dog.
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Old 09-09-2012, 01:42 PM   #3 
lelei
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Wow..how cruel..if you treat your fish the fins will grow back..clean, warm water, and Aquarium Salt will help those fins heal right up..daily water changes with salt for 4-7 days.

Last edited by lelei; 09-09-2012 at 01:45 PM. Reason: noticed a missing word
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Old 09-09-2012, 01:47 PM   #4 
MrNighttime
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It's his left pectoral that is missing.
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Old 09-09-2012, 01:49 PM   #5 
lelei
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They all grow back, I took in rescues, that had no tail, no lower fins, anal fins, and hardly no dorsal the one on top..and all my fish after treatment all had their fins grow back..Get the Aquarium salt, and start treatment asap:)
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Old 09-09-2012, 01:52 PM   #6 
Bettanewbie60
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I am so sorry about your fish...and your fiance..well, that is just cold, sorry.
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Old 09-09-2012, 01:58 PM   #7 
MollyJean
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A lot of people have spouses that don't like fish. I'm not sure why.. It's like having a fish in the house is insulting. My husband, while he is as accepting and supportive as he can be, hates my fish. He can't explain why, but he wishes they where all gone. Of course, he's very quite about it and doesn't make me feel too bad about loving them. But he doesn't want to hear about them, doesn't want to see them and doesn't like it when I spend time with them. There are points when he just says "enough is enough" and I have to pretend we don't have fish for a few days, feed them when he's not around, and do water, heat and body checks very fast.

I guess the only advice I can give you is tell your spouse it's your pet, you take care of it, and if they don't like it, don't look at it.
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Old 09-09-2012, 02:00 PM   #8 
LadyVictorian
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Yup all the fins grow back with treatment and care. I still think it's cruel and honestly insulting to me who owns a blind cat to have her say they are not worthy of living. She should have said we might as well shoot cripple humans too and take out my aunt who's missing a leg while we are at it, drown babies with mental deficiencies, and hang people who have spinal injuries and now have to live a life in a wheel chair. crippled animals deserve to live as much as healthy ones, birds with broken wings get along just fine in captivity, three legged dogs well one of the ones I know DOES AGILITY AND WINS. Blind cats I said my part I own one, horses with bad legs can still survive so long as they are not ridden, and my aunt despite one leg left after an accident still plays soccer. Gesh some people, it makes me wonder if they were ever hugged as children T.T and if they have that train of thought where they got the idea they could play god and decide who was worthy of life and who wasn't (Hitler). Sorry if I offend with that but god, seriously saying crippled things don't deserve to live is not only wrong but looking at a human point a view it's pretty much what the Nazi's said.

I agree with Molly, tell her to ignore the fish, it's your damn fish not hers. She doesn't have to touch it or look at it if it makes her happy.
And Molly I think it has to do with jealousy, sometimes they wonder if we love the animals more than them. My ex boyfriend openly admitted to me once he thought I cared more about my cat than him because I skipped our date to take her to the vet and after that day he couldn't stand my cat and always made up crazy stories about her attacking him. In the end it got so bad he told me to have her put down because she had a bladder infection and I dumped him. My house, my cat, my law. I also had a boyfriend who said I was only seeing him but I was married to my show horse Lucky Memory...which was kind of true but he was cool that I enjoyed spending so much time with my horse and despite the fact he was afraid of horses he tried to bond with Lucky too (figured out the way to my heart is through my horse, Lucky i like the gay best friend who has to pass approval). Even though we were broken up over different issues when Lucky died he called me up and said I cried a little too when he heard the news just because he knew I loved that horse so much.

Last edited by LadyVictorian; 09-09-2012 at 02:06 PM.
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Old 09-09-2012, 02:05 PM   #9 
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I think there are many dynamics at work inside all of us and when something triggers our inner fears, we lash out at it.

It may be that your fiancÚ has a very critical view of herself and doesn't like any reminder that life can be frail.

It may be that she wants all your attention herself and resents the fish bc it takes up the time and care that she wants all to herself.

It may be that she feels overwhelmed by many things and the tank is the easiest thing for her to use to distract herself form her own internal dialogue.

And the fin will grow back. My blue girl lost part of her left pectoral fin and it's now almost as long as the right one. That was in July.

May you have harmony and joy in your home.
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Old 09-09-2012, 02:10 PM   #10 
lelei
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I took in a fish that someone didnt want and was bout to do the same thing..as your fiance stated, how would she like it, if she only had one leg, and someone said well, your useless now, I will get rid of you..I dont think she would like it..and btw..the fish I took in is doing quite well, and he is adorable, funny, smart, and feisty..and he is the one that was going to get flushed, and then you can prove her sooo wrong when she sees that your fish will be just fine, after treatment..:)
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