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Old 09-09-2012, 03:14 PM   #11 
MollyJean
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Eh.. I have a very broken fish.. No tail at all. The thought of ever throwing her out because she's broken has never crossed my mind.. And my husband has never suggested it. Some people are very odd.. why would you throw away a living creature because it's not perfect? What right does anyone have to decide what is perfection?
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Old 09-09-2012, 03:33 PM   #12 
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So as I have posted elsewhere, my male Pickle has lost a fin. He is struggling it seems. I got him as a pet/project for my daughter when she cae to stay with us for the summer. We picked him out, the decor, everything.

My fiance, who clearly isn't attched to the fish as I am, tells me that I need to flush him and get it over with. She says he is like a 3 legged dog or blind cat now. She wants me to just "get rid of him" and doesnt want me to get anymore fish as "obviously you can't take care of them". I couldn't figure that one out. "It's just a freaking $3 fish for crying out loud and we can get rid of that tank".

Try as I might I can't convince her that it is hard to "just flush him". ANyone ddeal with this and any advice?
It may be that she also sees the fish as a reminder of your daughter and your previous relationship, and thus feels insecure and resents the fish.

Not really about the fish.

A good opportunity to go for deeper communication here. I highly recommend the book Non-violent Cmmunication by m. Rosenberg.

In it he details how he gets opposing sides to communicate, including rival gangs and opposing sides of war like Palestinians and Israelis and Catholics and aprotestants from Northern Ireland.
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Old 09-09-2012, 03:56 PM   #13 
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My loved ones would never say that to me, they know me better than that. Even when I lost a fish my son buried it before I came home so I wouldn't have to see it dead.

Honestly, she sounds heartless if she thinks damaged animals are worthless. How does she feel about damaged humans?
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Old 09-09-2012, 05:01 PM   #14 
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I think she feels the fish take up too much room and was a passing fad for me. I did have several tanks and 11 fish. As they passed I just never replaced them so now I am down to just two males. I think she just wants them all gone so she can have book shelf space and "no mess".

But I just can't toss him.
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Old 09-09-2012, 05:36 PM   #15 
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Don't toss him, I say if you can't keep him give him to someone who knows about betta care and let them have him. It's not worth killing a living animal that still has a big chance of recovery. I am sure anyone here would take him, I know if I had time to set up a tank I would.

Last edited by LadyVictorian; 09-09-2012 at 05:42 PM.
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Old 09-09-2012, 05:59 PM   #16 
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Oh no....he stays. I put my foot down. It's just the tension and the fact a seemingly minor thing could turn into so big of a deal. I just like to know how people deal with this attitude when it comes to fish.
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Old 09-09-2012, 06:37 PM   #17 
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Oh no....he stays. I put my foot down. It's just the tension and the fact a seemingly minor thing could turn into so big of a deal. I just like to know how people deal with this attitude when it comes to fish.
Yeah, it may be good to find this stuff out before the wedding if ya ask me, which you didn't...but yeah, it's your decision about the fish, and she should be respecting that. Sorry if I'm out of line..I just think that the ones who love us should be supportive of us no matter what.
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Old 09-09-2012, 06:37 PM   #18 
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I normally tell them it's my pet, they never touch the animal or care for it so why does it matter to them. I would understand if she was the one cleaning the cage but from the sound of it you care for the fish and they don't take up much space to be honest. Besides point out to her it makes you happy. Something that makes you happy she can't be angry about. Don't you want the person you love to be happy? That's my thinking.
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Old 09-09-2012, 06:43 PM   #19 
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Keep the fish and dump the chick. If such a small matter causes friction and such a violent reaction from her, what's next?
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Old 09-09-2012, 06:50 PM   #20 
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Wow, I could not live with someone so blase about the life of a pet, whether it is a fish or a cat or a dog. That personally for me would be the breaking point of that particular relationship, but I guess it boils down to how much of a negative that is when weighed against the positives of the relationship.

I am an avid animal lover and my fish are a huge chunk of my life, so if I had a partner who could not accept that or was resentful of that fact, then that is a relationship I would be forced to break off.

IMO partners should be respectful of each others' hobbies and passions. Furthermore, I have always found a good judge of character is how someone treats animals.
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