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Old 12-31-2012, 02:58 PM   #11 
Abby
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lets see. she could b put in the female community and be killed or free swim happily with a submissive male that spends 95 % of the time ignoring her, the other 5% hes like Hey and a small flare, shes warm in a filtered tank.

to me id say that im meeting her and his needs. they are happy warm and well fed. if he was constantly harrassing her she would NOT be in there i am not stupid. i have 9 females and 14 males and have been keeping them HAPPILY (first time one on one granted) for over 4 years. ive had over 80 bettas in that 4 yrs, ive had pretty much EVERY single sickness you can have and every issue you can have and im still with it.
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Old 12-31-2012, 03:12 PM   #12 
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Unfortunately, you may think you know your fish and for the moment they may seem to be living together peacefully, but splendens are so unpredictable it can take only an instant for things to go wrong.

I have had females be completely fine with a male in their tank for over a year. Then I came down one day to find him with all his fins torn off and floating around half-dead at the surface. I had only checked on that tank an hour or so before and everything had been fine. I had no idea then what it was that triggered that attack and still have no idea now.

I worry more about males (particularly the heavier finned and less aggressive males) getting attacked by females than I do about females getting attacked by males. In my experience HM males can't defend themselves all that well if a female does decide to attack him. Their big fins make them slow and vulnerable and it does not take long for them to get shredded.

Then there is your $55 down the drain because if they are badly damaged they never really grow in as nicely as before, and sometimes the stress of having so much damage inflicted in such a short space of time can really knock a fish about.

Don't really know why you think in this situation the benefits outweigh the risks. To be honest I can't really see any benefits to it at all.
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Old 12-31-2012, 03:12 PM   #13 
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I do realize everyone just wants to help, but these aren't our fish. You've given Abby all the advice you can, if she wishes to keep her male and female bettas together, then let her.

Perhaps nothing will ever happen? There are those one in a millions situations where they can get along happily.

If something does happen, Abby has learned never to repeat her mistake.

I think we should step back and allow Abby to do what she likes. She has heaters, plants, hiding places and a filter. She isn't being abuse and neglecting them. We may not agree with what she is doing, but we should respect her choice to leave them as is.

Abby; you've been given advice and you've chosen not to take it. That is fine, I respect your decision. I just hope it stays working out for the two of them. I'd like to be kept up to date so please continue to inform me on this thread. I don't particularly agree with your choice, but I respect it.

I hope it works out for you; HAPPY NEW YEARS EVE.
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Old 12-31-2012, 03:18 PM   #14 
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thank you hannah, I check them many times a day ( feeding and just checking where the next lot of plants should go etc, change things up) and they are in the dining room so im always in there. im not neglecting them or starving them
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Old 12-31-2012, 03:20 PM   #15 
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Originally Posted by LittleBettaFish View Post
Then there is your $55 down the drain because if they are badly damaged they never really grow in as nicely as before, and sometimes the stress of having so much damage inflicted in such a short space of time can really knock a fish about.


if i remove her n he clamps and refuses to eat and eventually dies the moneys gone anyway. he clamps even if she is in the guppy breeder box.
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Old 12-31-2012, 03:23 PM   #16 
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thank you hannah, I check them many times a day ( feeding and just checking where the next lot of plants should go etc, change things up) and they are in the dining room so im always in there. im not neglecting them or starving them
You're welcome.

Like I said, we may not agree with you, but there is no point in 5 different people repeating the same thing over and over again.

Want to see what happens? Keep an eye on the thread. That's all we can do.
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Old 12-31-2012, 03:24 PM   #17 
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No one said you were neglecting or starving them, just that the odds are against you that it is going to work out. Especially in a 20L tank where there is really no room for the losing fish to get away if they do have a fight.

I will never condone males and females living together having had a fish die because of a similar housing arrangement. I also think that as a forum that in part is aimed at educating first time betta owners, the kind of living situation Abby describes isn't one that should be readily accepted as okay.
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Old 12-31-2012, 03:27 PM   #18 
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Originally Posted by LittleBettaFish View Post
No one said you were neglecting or starving them, just that the odds are against you that it is going to work out. Especially in a 20L tank where there is really no room for the losing fish to get away if they do have a fight.

I will never condone males and females living together having had a fish die because of a similar housing arrangement. I also think that as a forum that in part is aimed at educating first time betta owners, the kind of living situation Abby describes isn't one that should be readily accepted as okay.
I never said it was okay; I don't agree with it. But there isn't a point in us giving the advice more than what we have when she's made it clear she won't separate them. Not much we can do, these aren't our fish.
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Old 12-31-2012, 03:30 PM   #19 
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I do not want to see what happens... I've seen what happens. During spawning. Where the male's entrails were strewn across the tank, because of the female, who decided to take it a step higher than I had ever expected.

IF ANYTHING, instead of snapping at us, AT LEAST get a 10 gallon tank. 5 gallons is not enough. Then add a S%@& ton of live, silk and fabric plants so they do not bother each other at all.
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Old 12-31-2012, 03:36 PM   #20 
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This is an open forum. There are certain topics everyone knows are hot-button issues. Housing male and female bettas together is one of them. By posting this kind of thread on a forum dedicated to betta care, you are going to have to expect a majority of people are going to be opposed to it.

I hope Abby manages to prove us wrong as really the only other alternative is that it all goes to hell in a hand basket and one or both of her fish are injured or even killed.

I just never understand why these threads are posted if the OP doesn't want to hear anything negative. If so they really need to put a disclaimer in the title of their thread.
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