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Old 01-04-2013, 07:42 PM   #16141 
Sparrowhawk
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Originally Posted by ZergyMonster View Post
This is the whole India rape protest in a nutshell. We live in a day and age where we are challenging traditions and social paradigms. There are people who will continually stick to the "olden ways" of thinking and ruin the advancement of the human species.

Personally, I find that there are too many situations where it's a problem with teaching our children what is correct; we see new parents who leave their children to learn solely by schools and lack enrichment in their daily lives. Our children are being exposed to the internet and technology at earlier and earlier ages to the point that they are more likely to have their faces stuck to a screen then looking at their surroundings. Exposing them to things that they are not ready for (violence, gore, explicit language and adult entertainment).

If we as parents, brothers and sisters can help bring the level of understanding to the new generation up, and give them excitement to learn and explore we have a much better chance of reaching a world where greed and hatred are not as prevalent.

This is my rant because I was fortunate enough to have a mother and father who taught me when I was young beyond what I learned at school and that got me to explore and wonder about the world and its possibilities. I feel bad every time I see a story on the news about how something horrible is happening on this world, but I do know as well that the news is a source of propaganda that shows the worst of the world to jerk and pull at people's emotions.

I am lucky and fortunate. And I'm truly thankful for that.

Sorry, I got a little side tracked on this rant.
I was also lucky enough to have a mother who taught me these things. She also taught me the difference between fiction and reality, video games/movies/books and real life. I was allowed to see gore, but only if it was monsters being fought against. People killing people in film or games was a no-no until much later in childhood, when I better understood everything. She taught me that there is no one true way about things, but there is learning and kindness.

It's kind of astounding how little children are taught by parents in a lot of cases these days. Schools are cracking under the pressure of kids who aren't taught right from wrong in the home, and we're seeing the effects of this attitude of "let somebody else do it" in young adults today. I'm not sure what the situation is like in other parts of the world, but yeah...

I hope that if I one day have a family I can be as good a mother as mine was, but I fear for the well-being of the child that I may bring into the world in this day and age.
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Old 01-04-2013, 09:01 PM   #16142 
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With all the talk about men and women being different from one another, I kinda feel compelled to jump on the bandwagon of denouncing these sorts of ideas. On top of the fact that these ways of thinking don't take transgender (or gender-fluid) people into account, as someone else has already said, there's also those of us who just don't fit into either pidgeonhole. I have only ever been feminine when forced to, or when I felt it would be inappropriate if I didn't feminize myself in some way (special occasions: dresses, makeup etc.) which is a subject I have a whole other beef with (if I, say, wore a suit to a special event because being hyper-feminine just ain't me, the completely unrelated topic of my sexual orientation would be brought into question, wouldn't it?). My friends have frequently called me a "man with breasts" in the past. Interesting that they say that, rather than simply a "person". I am female, but don't fit into society's idea of what female should be.

Bringing that round to someone else's point about dating sites being ridiculous, it's made finding a date very difficult in the past. It would seem that those sites only really work if you fit into cookie-cutter ideals of what you should look/behave/be like for your age, gender and hobbies.

All this ties in for my rant about today. The idea of "decency". To me, someone who is decent is someone with good morals, who stands by them. Someone who is polite, courteous and kind to other people. It has nothing to do with what they choose to wear (or not to wear).

I had an argument on a social media site with a friend of a friend about this. He kept claiming that women should cover up because it's "decent" and "we're not animals". Well, actually we are, we're just more evolved animals, we're still mammals, an offshoot of primates. That argument doesn't really stand. As for covering up being "decent", I don't agree with it. I adhere to that standard because I must, but would rather that the focus of decency be put on people's behaviour rather than their state of undress, because we're all born with the same bits, depending on gender, and we're only taught that they're naughty, or that they're taboo.

It is that same idiocy regarding anatomy that's brought a lot of grief to women, and a lot of stupid ideas about men ("they can't control themselves when confronted with a scantily-clad woman" - pffffft, they have enough cognitive function to control themselves, I can assure you of that, some have just been taught that they don't have to, which is a massive shame). It would seem much more fitting to apply the "we're not animals" logic to this, in that as a species, we're better than what people say about an entire gender: men are most certainly capable of controlling their behaviour, regardless of what a woman is wearing.

I apologise for going on for so long, I just feel very strongly about this subject. In no situation, ever, is it okay to pull the "but she was wearing..." argument. I've seen far too many people damaged from this ridiculous attitude.

About the first part of your post - I totally agree! I actually have been known to wear suits to more formal occasions and I sometimes get stares because all the other girls in my class are usually in dresses or skirts. But when I wear that suit I feel like me. Not that I don't like wearing dresses, I do, but I feel the most like myself with that suit on. Some days I feel like dressing really feminine, other days I'm more masculine. I'd like to work on making my wardrobe more androgynous if I can.
On the other hand, I love love love love love wearing makeup all day everyday. It also makes me feel like me. So gender expectations can mean totally different things for different people.

As for the decency issue, I think I'm also with you there. It's the same as the rape issue (don't tell me what to wear or what to do to be safe, tell men not to rape!). In other words, women should be able to wear what they want and men should learn not to lust and objectify women.
The only reservations I have about it are motivation, as in who you're doing it for. I know a lot of young girls my age that break standards of "decency" for male attention, whether they'd admit that or not.
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Old 01-04-2013, 10:39 PM   #16143 
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About the first part of your post - I totally agree! I actually have been known to wear suits to more formal occasions and I sometimes get stares because all the other girls in my class are usually in dresses or skirts. But when I wear that suit I feel like me. Not that I don't like wearing dresses, I do, but I feel the most like myself with that suit on. Some days I feel like dressing really feminine, other days I'm more masculine. I'd like to work on making my wardrobe more androgynous if I can.
On the other hand, I love love love love love wearing makeup all day everyday. It also makes me feel like me. So gender expectations can mean totally different things for different people.

As for the decency issue, I think I'm also with you there. It's the same as the rape issue (don't tell me what to wear or what to do to be safe, tell men not to rape!). In other words, women should be able to wear what they want and men should learn not to lust and objectify women.
The only reservations I have about it are motivation, as in who you're doing it for. I know a lot of young girls my age that break standards of "decency" for male attention, whether they'd admit that or not.
I like wearing dresses sometimes, especially during summer (hmm, thin, floaty thing or thick denim jeans on a hot day, which is more pleasant to be wearing? haha) My issue is just with being expected to be feminine, all the time.

You bring up a good point about young girls breaking standards of what is "decent". Unfortunately it's a product of the same silly patriarchal standards. If girls are taught to attract boys with their bodies rather than their wit or intelligence, I imagine a natural response for some is to try and do just that, in the same way they see it done in the media.

I believe that if our anatomy was not highly sexualised, that is, if while we're young we're not taught that certain parts of our bodies are "naughty" and are only for your partner to see, that rather than the hedonistic free-for-all conservatives seem to think would result, there would simply be less ooh-ing and aah-ing about things that are only body parts, and thus less of the acting out that we see in kids, young adults, and not-so-young adults in trying to garner attention from the opposite sex.

The funny thing is that the argument I spoke of in my original post about this was brought on by a friend saying they wished both genders could walk around topless in extremely hot weather, not just men. Not that radical a concept when you consider both men and women have nipples, and the only difference is ours are also made for feeding babies. That's the only difference if you look at it from an objective standpoint, rather than "oooooh, women's chests!".

Perhaps I've said too much for a family-oriented forum, I've tried to keep my points as family-friendly as possible, and honestly don't believe that there's anything adult about these things, or at least more adult than what everyone is exposed to day-in, day-out on TV. But mods, if you read it, please tell me if I need to censor it.

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Old 01-05-2013, 02:27 AM   #16144 
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I dress however I want. At home I am legitimately in sweatpants or pyjamas. When I go out to a friends house, I wear just jeans and a tshirt. When I go to a hyper formal event, I bring out the most gorgeous dresses anybody has ever seen. I do it this way because people are so used to seeing me just dressed like "meh", then I bring out the big guns XD

In any case, gender norms =/= what I was talking about lol. Men and women are different and the same. However the difference is not just at their bits and pieces or even have anything to do with which chromosome you got from yo daddy. The way your brain develops is different between men and women (once again there are many exceptions). Various studies done over the course of many years with a VERY large sample group.
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Old 01-05-2013, 02:51 AM   #16145 
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I've been accused of not dressing feminine enough. I hate wearing dresses and feel much more comfortable in jeans and a t shirt. I'm not out to impress anyone.
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Old 01-05-2013, 03:10 AM   #16146 
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I wear sweat pants and cardis or jerseys arounf home. When I leave my house I'm in dresses or corsets and skirts :)
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Old 01-05-2013, 03:15 AM   #16147 
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@dramaqueen I'm the same way. They complain and whine about it, but when I do they look at me strange and ask what I am up to. It's really a no win situation.

I made a new years res. to make my boyfriend decide what he wants. It was a very liked facebook post. Boyfriend admitted he was to much of a coward to move out here despite how he feels for me, and he feels perfectly fine in his dead end job to find anything better (thus encourage me to move out there). Oddly the person who's been there listening to me rant and making me smile is an ex-boyfriend.... ... It's going to be a LONG year.
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Old 01-05-2013, 06:31 AM   #16148 
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In any case, gender norms =/= what I was talking about lol. Men and women are different and the same. However the difference is not just at their bits and pieces or even have anything to do with which chromosome you got from yo daddy. The way your brain develops is different between men and women (once again there are many exceptions). Various studies done over the course of many years with a VERY large sample group.
I admit I left a gaping hole in my reasoning by not covering the developmental differences between the genders, and was more thinking about fully grown adults rather than children and adolescents. It has been proven that females mature more quickly than males, and each gender has things that overall they are better at than the opposite sex.

Since that has been proven, I'm not disputing that at all. Only disputing the unnecessary stuff i.e. traditional gender roles, differences in pay based on gender, the fact that female athletes get more comments on their figure than their skills... The list goes on.

Anyway, I've hijacked this thread enough with political views. >.<

Rant: I know it's midnight on a Saturday night, and I know I live near a popular partying neighbourhood, but it'd be lovely if just once party-goers could use some different side-streets to sing drunkenly at the top of their lungs!

It is rather funny, and usually I'd giggle my head off, but this means my boyfriend won't be able to sleep before his 5am start. If I could forward his tired whinging to the people who will undoubtedly be nursing hangovers in the morning, I wouldn't be complaining.
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Old 01-05-2013, 07:57 AM   #16149 
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LittleBettaFish I don't understand why your mom does t care that the cat is sick? She cares that everything else is sick and will tend to it. That right there is animal abuse... He's 12! My family's old cat, Baby, was almost 18 when she had a stroke in her sleep and had problems walking or sitting since she would always fall down. The nerves to her body were on a fritz! And we dealt with it until we all agreed we needed to put her down and it was the hardest thing to do for all of us...
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Old 01-05-2013, 08:41 AM   #16150 
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My rant about people and the ecosystem

Ecosystem: Does not mean just people, dogs and birds. -.- ECOSYSTEM refers to everything living that have been placed there to keep everything going. Us as people obviously are too blind to see the miniscule damages placing a fish or snake or bird into the wild, since obviously it's "okay" to. It's not. Sure, we don't see what happens... We don't care! We're the ones poisoning the ecosystem, damaging it, destroying it... We may not feel nor see what happens when a foreign fish is introduced into the ecosystem, but it does happen.

Fish dies: ammonia polution.
Fish lives: depending on size, eats everything else. Goldfish especially grow big and can survive some pretty ruthless weather. Good bye native fishes, fry, and plants!
Fish has a disease or parasite: Now you have more than one problem. A dead or alive fish PLUS the problems it has. Columnaris? Good bye other fish. More ammonia sludge in the lakes. Parasites? Sick fish. Sick fish die. More ammonia poisoning...

And who is the blame? Not an animal lover. But a naive little person who is caught is now fined for taking down an entire working ecosystem first hand. Good job.
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