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Old 03-08-2013, 08:44 AM   #11 
purplecandle
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Wow! This my mom before she passed away. Notoriously bad with animals and no matter what you say she will not listen. My mom also had similar mental health issues.

If I were you...just avoid the subject of the betta all together. When she asks about him (if she does ask) just say he has a long recovery ahead. Emphasize all of the work you have to do to get him healthy and how long it is gonna take. If she is like my mom, eventually she will be glad to be rid of him because it will be one less thing for her to do, one less responsibility.

And talk about what you will have to do to keep him healthy, tell her it is an on going battle.

Now, with that being said...she probably won't let you forget that you have her betta. Just let her talk and then you change the subject. I really doubt that she will ever knock at your door demanding her betta back.
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Old 03-08-2013, 09:01 AM   #12 
Laki
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Thanks :)

He seems to have fallen back to worse again. I had him eating bloodworms like 10 minutes ago but he was uninterested in picking them off the floor (unable or "grossed" out from the conditions he's used to) and I don't think he will eat floating food yet, bc mom said she was trying and he just wouldn't go up and eat them. Then she left sinking food in front of him until I took him. So....

I don't think it will be hard to keep him as long as I need, mom has no backbone and therefore won't stand up to me. Because of her, I have the strongest personality in the immediate family (excluding my 8 yr old niece, lol). And I did mention yesterday that after everything I am doing he still might not make it, and he will most certainly never be the same.

I have a feeling, without my consent, my mom's birthday celebration thing is happening here tomorrow. So she can see the state the fish is in and I will emphasize the length of recovery he has yet. It's obvious he's unable to swim still, and he looks pathetic.
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Old 03-08-2013, 10:33 AM   #13 
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I wouldn't give her back the fish. If necessary, I would tell her he died and hide him whenever she comes over.
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Old 03-08-2013, 12:38 PM   #14 
Xaltd1
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I can relate to both situations.
I'm in my early 50s, and have lost everything due to a nasty divorce, death of my Dad, tax & lawyer bills, and many other complications. I'm really depressed.
BUT, the one thing that helps me is caring for something else. My cat and fish eat better than I do! I took a p/t job as a Nanny to a 3-year-old girl- that helps a lot. I feel worthless and abandoned every day. But, when I fuss over my cat and fish (and RCS and even my blackworm colony) I really feel better. As for my cat's water bowl, he won't drink out of a bowl!! He insists on drinking out of the toilet! Yuck... but, it's what he wants; I just have to be careful not to use strong cleaners on the toilet. (yes, I treid the Cat-It fountain; no go.)
My Mom (83) is a complete space-case. She dosen't understand why I (and her friends) have pets. She sees them as a burden (although we had lots of pets growing up.) She is highly critical of my having pets, to the point that she is banned from my apartment. That being said, I have to check on potentially dangerous situations at her apartment. Recently, I discovered that the dryer lint filter had never been changed!!! Ever!!! I scolded her & of course she got mad! I worry that she does not have a pet, and I wish I could get her to adopt a cat or fish- I think she's remember how great a little companion is and not be critical of those of us who have the audacity to own a fish!
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Old 03-08-2013, 04:20 PM   #15 
Laki
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Thanks xaltd. It's helpful knowing other people who have the same conditions as my mom in helping me understand her point.t of view. I'm sorry to hear of your troubles :(

It's also helpful to know your situation with your own mom. Nobody is perfect. Actually I remember when my nanny met my two bunnies back a few year's ago. We encouraged her to pet my mini rex's plush fur but she still couldn't figure out why i kept rabbits as pets lol

I am sitting here waiting for fishy's water to cool down so I can clean the tank again. I have been siphoning water in and out since i got him, never did a 100% yet.
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Old 03-12-2013, 10:44 AM   #16 
ashleigheperry
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I'm sorry about your difficulties with your mother. My grandmother (who's in her mid sixties now) bred Yorkshire terriers for years and though she loved them she still managed to neglect them. Terrible food, months without grooming. It was terrible. Good luck!
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Old 03-12-2013, 09:11 PM   #17 
Laki
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Aw :( Sorry to hear that ashleigh!

Unfortunately, the poor thing passed away. I think he had nitrite poisoning. His organs were pretty dark when I took him out.

I asked my mom what she wanted to do with his body- she inadvertently gave me the impression that flushing him was okay so I have him wrapped in newspaper in my freezer for a proper burial.


Thanks everyone.
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Old 03-14-2013, 08:56 PM   #18 
LittleBlueFishlets
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I'm sorry he didn't make it.
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Old 03-14-2013, 09:12 PM   #19 
Laki
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Thanks , it means a lot. At least he had someone caring properly for him in his last few days. All I can hope for is my hospital tank at least relieved him of some of his discomfort.
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Old 03-14-2013, 09:27 PM   #20 
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I'm sure that being in warm, clean water helped ease him the last few days. And I know that your Mom didn't intend on neglecting him. She probably struggles to take care of herself, so I can understand that little guy didn't get the care he needed. Please note that I'm not excusing her neglect, and I'm not saying it was OK to neglect him. But I can see how her illness made it difficult (or impossible) for her to care for him as he should have been cared for. And hopefully, she won't get another fish, now that he is gone. I also hope that she can manage to take care of her cat OK.

I know that if the little guy had come into your care sooner, that he'd have been OK. Unfortunately, it was too late to save him. But hopefully, the warm, clean water made it easier for him to breath at the end, and made his passing more peaceful.
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