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Old 08-05-2010, 12:58 PM   #1 
Oakly
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Post Betta Poem

Betta in the store

Pets at home is a UK pet store


Water ripples, swirls then starts again.
The water is pure, a perfect blue hue.
And there, in the middle…
Sits a small crescent moon.

But is it a moon? A penny? A star?
A star for a quick unthought-of wish?
No, wait, look closer…
It swims, it’s a fish.

Large feathery fins, a golden colour
Silver scales, too many to count.
I grabbed a box…
And sat and watched as the fish danced about

The fish was beautiful
Pretty and gold
I stood up and looked around
Was this fish sold?

I looked around
Throughout the store
I saw a young man and said:
“Excuse me sir, those fish do you have any more?”

He didn’t reply, he only shrugged.
That’s what you get at Pets at Home
I looked at the fish, its scales, and head
Dammed to swim, all alone.
That’s what it likes.
The young man said.

Yeah, just thought this up in 10 minuets, thought it was okay, could do with some work. Criticism would be great, so would comments!
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Old 08-05-2010, 05:32 PM   #2 
KLeighS
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Sounds great! :)

Its a 1000 times better than what I could do in 10 minutes..I'd be staring at a blank page. :)
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Old 08-05-2010, 05:33 PM   #3 
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Thumbs up

Sounds great! :)

Its a 1000 times better than what I could do in 10 minutes..I'd be staring at a blank page. :)


~Edits~

Oops...double posted it..

Last edited by KLeighS; 08-05-2010 at 05:36 PM.
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Old 08-06-2010, 06:07 AM   #4 
Oakly
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Haha, Lol KLeighS! Don't worry bout the double post. Thanks very much! I've re-read it and I might make a few changes, spend some more time on it you know. Off topic but, I love your avatar!
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Old 08-06-2010, 05:26 PM   #5 
KLeighS
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Oakly View Post
Haha, Lol KLeighS! Don't worry bout the double post. Off topic but, I love your avatar!
Haha, I won't. I was just commenting on the fact that I accidently double posted. Lol. :)

And Thanks. :) bettalover2033 did it for me. :)
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Old 08-06-2010, 08:15 PM   #6 
Jooleeah
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This is cute xD
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Old 08-09-2010, 02:27 PM   #7 
dramaqueen
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Nice poem!
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Old 08-09-2010, 02:52 PM   #8 
Oakly
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Thanks very much ! =)
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