For some reason, I decided today was the day. I went to the local pet store to see what they had, and saw one fish floating on his side at the top of the water. I thought he was dead, so I picked up the cup to show the store owner. He moved! I kept an eye on him while I checked out the other fish, and he kept an eye on me. He was visibly bloated and would start turning sideways now and then. I decided that if he was already that overfed, he probably wasn't going to survive there, so I brought him home. :) He's doing much better already with some epsom salts.
Without further ado, here is my new, as yet unnamed, fish friend.
He's kinda purply-blue in real life.