Many of you won't remember me.
I came here on betta number two after reading the forum without joining for a couple of weeks.
I joined though an emergency involving a sudden temperature change where I lost one of a pair due to my impatience. The pair being Patriot and Independence, two of the most amazing fish I have ever seen.
Independence died, but Patriot survived due to the immense amount of guidance from fellow forum users.
Well, he survived but not healthily.
I was very unsuccessful in curing the finrot that clung to him stubbornly after the accident.
It came and went and I was absolutely terrified.
I took the best of care for him that I could.
But he's gone now.
I've been too ashamed to show my face on here for a while...
Reading but never posting because I've been too afraid to get another fish.
I actually just read my last thread on here and broke down crying.
But I'm home for the holidays, and seeing wallywestisthebest333's
fish made me cave.
I've fallen in love with the idea of a little friend again.
I want that feeling again, of loving and caring for something unconditionally.
That feeling of being the best thing in the world to somebody.
I'm working and going to school from 7am-6pm and working on homework sometimes (half the time unfortunately) until 5 or six in the morning the next day.
I rarely see my boyfriend because of all this "all school no play" seriousness, so that feeling of unconditional love is barely there anymore.
But I'm terrified.
So here's a warning:
I will be stalking your posts.
I will be asking too many questions.
And I will be comparing your answers to others, nit picking and finding the best possible solutions.
If I can't come up with something that works I won't get a fish. I can't take that pathetic and pitiful level of sadness again.
But I WANT that feeling again, so I aim to find the perfect equation for me to have a fish again.
You guys were wonderful last time and did all you could for me.
This time I aim to plan ahead of time instead of just cling to my spontaneity and buy a fish on impulse.
So your advice will be heard, weighed, and taken to heart before the tank is even bought.
I plan to buy a 2 gallon, plant it walstad style, and keep it close to my bed so I can observe the condition of the tank and the fish closely and make sure the new fish gets all the care and attention they deserve.
If everything goes well for this 2 gallon I will re-purpose my old 5 and 10 gallon tanks in walstad fashion, one fore my living room (closely watched) and one in my boyfriend's living room.
I hope all of you have been well and I look forward to talking to you again.