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Old 07-17-2011, 07:10 PM   #11 
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Smr2892's Avatar
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Illinois - moving to WI soon
HD, I absolutely adore your story! In chapter two there were a couple typos, but other than that it's beautifully written! Please keep going with it :) I love when people are gramatically correct in their typing, it makes things so much more smooth and easy to read. A little more detail though, maybe? I'd like to know more about the main character's feelings :) how did it feel when he first popped his egg and was in the water? How will he feel when he's swimming? Does the food wriggle in his little tummy? I'm not in any way saying anything bad about your story; I thoroughly enjoyed it so far!
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Old 07-18-2011, 04:03 PM   #12 
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Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Indianapolis, IN
I'm so illustrating this..... It's amazing! :D
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Old 07-18-2011, 06:37 PM   #13 
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Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: The Crab State! In other words, Maryland.
Mmm... Yummy, pink wiggly things, lol, nice story
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