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Old 11-03-2011, 11:52 PM   #1 
inkrealm
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alright, new concept... "every 'another try' = a life"

this is the other thing I'm struggling with. so I'm curious how you guys think or handle this...
my first Betta just gave me my first deathscare tonight... he isn't dead and I have to wait till morning to see how he's doing, but. it got me to thinking, what would I do if he did die? on the one hand, it seems lame to give up after one try. and really, for all I know, maybe he was just old when I got him, and he's lived out his full lifespan... there's no actual telling I guess since he definitely wasn't a baby... or maybe he was just one of those fish with bad health, or he'd just been in the cup too long... since he wasn't healthy when I brought him home to begin with.... so in that respect I think, maybe I should try again.... but then I think, in reality "trying again" means another life... maybe even though I thought I was doing my best and doing everything right and taking everyone's advice, I was actually wrong, and I did contribute to it... in which case I'd be wasting another fish's life which is the last thing I want to do :/
so what do you guys think about this?... how do you handle it?... is it just all dependent on the fish and sometimes we just choose the wrong guy who's already dying and may not be able to be saved? or the one who's actually already really really old and about to die naturally? is "trying again" encouraged, but capable of becoming irresponsible at some point? or?....
( and in this scenario I'm only keeping one fish at a time, not taking on several at once when I may not be able to handle them.. )

I also noticed it seems common to hear the term " I'm not going to name him till I know he's going to live. " so is this truly just a common and natural occurrence? ( I guess kindof like, it really is just "luck of the draw"? [ not to state that a fish is an item in any way what so ever. just for lack of a better term though. ] )



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sidenote: this is more of a curious thing than anything else, I'm not looking for a fight >.<; I know too, that I word things poorly sometimes, where they make sense to me but then everyone else seems to interpret it in a totally different way that wasn't intended in the least. >^<; so please if something insults you just ask me if it's really what I meant or not, rather than assuming I meant anything awful. D:
not sure if anyone even cares to discuss this, but if you do I'd definitely appreciate it... ^-^;
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Old 11-04-2011, 12:25 AM   #2 
Indyfishy
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I'm sorry your fish is sick inkrealm, I sincerely hope he pulls through whatever it is that he's got going on. In my opinion, there's no reason that you shouldn't get another betta if you enjoy the hobby, and take care of your fish to the best of your ability. Fish are not long-lived animals, and they can be very fragile. It's especially difficult when buying a fish from a pet store, since you don't know what the fish is genetically pre-disposed to. And even if your fish is perfectly healthy, accidents happen. Last July, I lost my male Finley. I had him for exactly a year when he passed away. It's suspected that he died from eating a piece of gravel. Total freak accident, but it made me feel terrible anyways. But I just couldn't give up, fish keeping is so much fun for me and I find my fish soooo relaxing, and it makes me happy to keep them happy! If you really love it, don't give up!
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Old 11-04-2011, 12:41 AM   #3 
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I agree with Indy. Fish are so hard to keep sometimes. There aren't vets and information can be conflicting and confusing. We've all had experiences like yours. Sometimes it is just the fish. Sometimes it's a mistake we made. Sometimes illness happens later on. You have to decide what feels right for you. But this is something I'm sure many of us have thought about. I know I have.
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Old 11-04-2011, 12:51 AM   #4 
Pataflafla
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Sometimes they are just too sick when you get them. My sister had a little girl named Frog that was almost perpetually sick. In the end this is what took her before her time, she was stricken with parasites one too many times and the medications had no more effect on them.

Sometimes it's a mysterious illness. Another of my sister's named Toad (We bought him and Frog at the same time and they were horribly emaciated and sick) died from an unknown illness or condition. to this day I don't even know, but the max dose of epsom salt and Maracyn 2 did nothing to touch what he had. The rot on his tail persisted through the Maracyn 2, which is the strongest medication available in my town.

Sometimes they're just prone to illness to. Yet another one of my sister's (She's had such bad luck with bettas, but she always buys the sickest ones) was constantly suffering from chronic sbd. He would get popeye out of nowhere despite the water being pristine, and eventually he just started to bleed internally (Still don't know why) and couldn't keep any weight on him. We had to euthanize him in the end, same as Toad.

You get good streaks and bad streaks. It all depends on the fish you get, and that's a mystery going into it. You could buy the healthiest looking one, and end up losing it the next day to illness.

If you feel up to trying again, all the better for you. You can apply what you've learned to do better each time and to improve upon yourself as well.
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Old 11-04-2011, 01:01 AM   #5 
inkrealm
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thanks Indyfishy... ;u; -awkwardhug-~
I actually never even thought about the genetics bit... I'm not sure you could ever figure that out visually, much less if you knew nothing about Betta Fish genetics... and I imagine that's probably moreso with petstore fish where breeders have 'nothing to gain' with good genetics [ except maybe in the aesthetics department, which even then our sometimes AWFUL genetics :( ] so who knows what genetics those poor sweethearts have if you don't find a good breeder ;-;"
I think I vaguely remember Finley... :( <3 that certainly is a freak accident though D: I really am so ridiculously sorry that happened :( <3
they are pretty hard not to love.... ;u; for better or for worse x3
anyone who says fish can't have feelings or personalities has obviously never had a Betta or closely watched one ^-^;;
and thanks for the well wishes... for all I know that little jerkwagon will be staring at me with a big stupid smile on his face tomorrow morning knowing he scared me half to death. <3
after the new disease the forums found going around in male blue bettas, I guess there really is a very large possibility it was genetics afterall... I hope he won't get that disease. but with something like that going around seemingly limited to the blue male betta genetics somehow, who knows what's going on? that stuff is scary ;-;
I think I might try again if it comes to it, but for now I'm staying away from the blue boys and this time whether I like it or not I'm going to choose one based on health signs rather than personality. maybe when I've had a few more I'll be able to get the less healthy guys... I think till I know for sure I've got everything down though, like kits and all, I'll stick to the hopefully healthier ones. and really, how could you possibly hate any personality of a bettafish anyhow? ;v; even the not-so-"chatty" ones have their own ridiculous perks. :3
I appreciate the feedback, it definitely helps. ^-^;
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Old 11-04-2011, 01:26 AM   #6 
inkrealm
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@vaygirl @Pataflafla
thanks for the feedback you guys... I really appreciate it.. <3
I guess it is another good point that despite having a reputation for being "easy pets", fish can be kindof high maintenance simply due to the fact that they're not necessarily as easy to read as say, a dog. no noises, more complicated symptoms, smaller scale that probably makes physical symptoms harder to see and symptoms in general harder to locate and isolate.. if they swallow something they shouldn't have, you certainly can't have a surgery to remove it. ;-; and I have yet to meet another fish person around here, much less a Betta person. most people who have never had one don't take them seriously, and it's almost impossible to find a good petsitter for them. <T^T>
plus i.e. if my pup's tail started splitting, I'd definitely notice. D: it would be obvious right away. >.< but on a fish sometimes it's really hard to see till it's well-started even to the closest of studies ;-;

@Pataflafla
I'm sorry about Frog and Toad... :( and your other fish as well. :/ <3 I'm sure euthanizing must be especially hard... though it is comforting to know they won't have to suffer anymore... Instances like those are one my worst fears. I can't even imagine. :(
I think I do remember reading about someone on here who had gotten an appearance-wise-healthy fish from an awful jar, to have the boy get massively sick a week or two later, despite pristine water conditions, because the damage had already been done before she got him. :/
I'd love to be able to begin trying to get some of the sicker ones and work on healing them back up... I want to make sure I know how to first though.
I am hoping the learning bit is true. a lot of people don't seem to have issues with their first Betta... but I guess some of them may have already been keeping other fish prior, or just managed to make a good choice when they picked theirs..
I'm sure regardless you're always learning something new and learning how to make something better.. ^-^;

Last edited by inkrealm; 11-04-2011 at 01:46 AM.
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Old 11-04-2011, 11:38 PM   #7 
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Sometimes, no matter how well we take care of them they still die. I lost one last year while I was gone and I wondered if there was anything I could have done for her if I'd have been home to take care of her. All you can do is do the best you can.
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Old 11-04-2011, 11:55 PM   #8 
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They sadly really are fragile. A lot of animals that have large numbers of babies really are just fragile animals. They reach maturity fast and have a lot of kiddos because even in the wild, in their perfect habitat, things go wrong and they will perish. In captivity as responsible owners we give them a home with no predators, no one walking through their waters spreading chemicals and toxins, we give them food free of parasites and treat them when they do become ill. But we cannot always save them. They are fragile. Getting just a little too sick and a little too stressed at the wrong time could mean their sad end, no matter how well cared for they are in the wild or in a home.

I think a lot of fish do not handle the shipping process well. Remember, pet store bettas..well, usually aren't the top of health. They are often the fish that a breeder here might cull because they noticed it had health problems and clear deformities. But when you have thousands and thousands of babies, it's hard to catch everything. The breeders will cup the gorgeous ones they want to sell as breeder quality, and the rest will go bagged up and set to pet stores. Most of them will be healthy, they do take good care of their bettas. But with an animal so small we can't really tell if one has a heart condition or some other problem that might make it unable to handle shipping. The amount of stress is bad and then they are taken to possibly the first actually cold water they have ever touched. The strong healthy fish can survive until a good owner comes and gets them, but some of them simply aren't going to make it, even if they arrived immediately to warm water and a clean home. They might not have even made it to adulthood if left in their original waters. It happens. :( Not just with fish either. Any living thing sometimes can just have too many things wrong with it for it to go on properly. When it's a larger animal, sometimes we can operate, but there isn't always anything we can do.

All we can do is look for signs of a strong, healthy fish and hope for the best while giving it the best care we can. Sometimes the sick ones will be fighters, surviving what the weaker ones would have died in... And they can go on and survive and be strong again. We just do the best we can, and they have to do the rest.

<3 and remember, anything you can do is better than a dirty, cold cup. Keep learning through each experience and you'll simply become a better and better betta owner, even helping to save other betta lives when friends you know get bettas who fall ill! You can take misfortune and turn it into experience so you can become a fishy hero :)
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Old 11-05-2011, 05:11 AM   #9 
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The way i view it is if you're trying to do what you can, it's at least more then what it gets at the pet store.

Even people who have their bettas in a heaterless half gallon critter keeper with one water change a week are doing better then the small cups they're stuck in with no room to move and no heater either, with water changes no where near often enough...and very few members here keep their bettas in the afor mentioned conditions for very long.
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