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Annoyed

2K views 36 replies 21 participants last post by  dramaqueen 
#1 · (Edited)
So my father, being the jerk that he is, decided he'd "skool" me on raising betta fish, just cause apparently when he was growing up in Vietnam he raised hundreds of wild bettas and he knows EVERYTHING about them *rolls eyes*

Anyway, he keeps picking on me for doing water changes all the time. Cause well... I do a 50% water change for my girls tank once every week, and I change Shota and Aros' water every 2-3 days (both are in 1 gallon hospital tanks right now). He says it's unhealthy for them and that I'm killing my fish.

I told him otherwise, I was like "Dad, have you heard of the Nitrogen cycle? If you know how it works in tanks, you will know WHY I need to change the water. I know what I'm doing." And then he'd be like "sure sure, don't blame me if they die then."

Everyone on my dad's side of the family who have owned betta fish used them for fighting (Dx grr Asian families) and NEVER took good care of their fish (tiny bowls and rarely ever changed water T_T) and their fish died within WEEKS.

Well anyway, I just felt like wanting to vent about it, but then in the back of my mind I kind felt myself asking if I'm doing the right thing for my fish or if my dad's right. I think I know what's best for them and I just want to kinda confirm that with others I guess?

It just occurred to me though... if I'm right and my dad is wrong, then that would explain why all our fish died in our old fish tank when I was young 8|

(And apologize to Dramaqueen if 'jerk' is considered profanity. I discussed it with a few friends before posting this, and they all agreed it wasn't really profanity, so I used it.)
 
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#2 ·
Aw, that's a bummer.
I sort of know what it's like when a loved one says that you're caring for your pets all wrong. I think you're totally right with your fish! Your dad just took information from his personal experience the wrong way >>

My best friend is a bit silly like that. She says it's just a myth that they're fighter fish and that they won't actually hurt each other if housed together. When I got my java fern, she told me that my fish will just eat it and get sick. I told her right away that she was wrong on both accounts, but wasn't very convinced. I mean jeeze, what does she know about fish? She had one betta in a 1/2 tank that lived for less than a year and a couple of goldfish that lived even less. Wow. It also disappoints me when she's all " GOD, it's just a fish! You can just buy another one, stop caring for it". It's hurtful when she mocks my ways....to me, a life is a life. Your life has the same value as any other living creature out there so respect it like you do to your own.

Oh jeeze, now I went off in a rant, sorry >>;
 
#4 ·
Don't worry! I feel the same! A life is a life for sure.

I love my fish and all my pets lots and it really upsets me when people treat them like they don't even consider them 'alive'. )': It's just so wrong to me on so many different levels... so many people have just let the whole idea that "humans are at the top of the food chain" get to their head and think less of everything else, and sometimes even of one another. To be honest, I'm disgusted with the majority of our species; there's no humanity, why are we even considering ourselves 'humans' anymore?

But thank you :) I feel very comforted and confident now!
 
#6 ·
I agree 100% with you guys. :/

Your dad should respect that they're your animals, and you're mature enough to handle them yourself. I don't see how fresh, clean water can hurt a fish.
 
#7 ·
Awww, I know just how you feel D: My parents were like that at first...until I presented them with the facts, got a gravel siphon, and they saw the results of my WCs and tank care. They don't harp on me about that so much anymore, actually my dad is trying to think of ways to make it easier for me now....:p

Though its clear they still don't get my love of fish and why I'm so attached to them, and its sort of hard as they tease me insensately about it....granted they mean no real harm, but still it does hurt. I've taken to just ignoring it most of the time.
Though, you know what really helped? Got my mom a betta. I She comes in every day and talks and sings to Max, and he responds to her and recognizes her. She seems a bit more understanding of my love for bettas now I believe, and will even talk to my others ^-^

Luckily, with my homeschooling and living in the middle of nowhere, I'm pretty isolated....so I don't have any friends around really to poke fun at me for fish keeping, and the family is surprisingly cool about it o_O;
 
#8 ·
I'm disgusted with our species, too. I live in a "retirement" community and you wouldn't believe how 70+ year olds act!! There is a lot of backstabbing and bickering going on. Everyone looks out for themselves and the heck with everyone else! Thats my rant for the night! lol
 
#9 ·
Next time he gives you bad advice, just point out the fact that your fish are thriving. So you must be doing something right.

And grrrrrrr.......... about keeping them just to fight.
 
#23 · (Edited)
Ahaha... I wish that were true ): two of my fish have fin rot... two of the males at least. Shota has bacterial fin rot and keeps having relapses, and Aros has a mystery fin rot that keeps slowly eating his tail. Now Orenji, which I just got keeps getting mystery holes in his tail, and I'm trying to figure those out >.<;;

The girls are doing good though. I'm doing all that I can for my boys T_T;;

But yeah ):< Hearing all these stories... Really, why do people have to be difficult about our choice of pets? >.< If they think they're 'just fish' and don't care, then they should just leave us alone!
 
#11 ·
wow, all i can say to everyone is, your obviously treating them very well and you actually care about them. that in itself is amazing. for us humans that are "so high on the food chain", to me its one of the highest tests of character in a person that treats and loves animals and fish so well. i love animal and fish people!
they are usually the kindest you can meet.
so bravo to you all

dq, im from ft lauderdale fl originally, believe me, i understand completely what your saying about retirement villages, omg some are worse than "kids" who havent matured yet. no offense to anyones age here, im talking about actual maturity that can come at any age.

good luck with your fish!
 
#12 ·
Unfortunately when I tell people that I have betta fish they laugh or 'ask why? You can't play with it like you can a dog or cat.' My dad doesn't mind my fish collection because he's had fish for years and just switched to salt water fish, so like father like daughter. :p My mom can't stand them, she thinks I'm scratching her new sink up when I clean my tanks, so now I have to do my WC's in the bathroom which ended up working out better. My sister thinks that there's something seriously wrong with me. It's very hard when you have a couple people in your family that hate them and constantly make fun of you or call you stupid for loving your fish. Oh well....
 
#13 ·
Sorry about your dad saying all that!!!!! That is annoying!!!!

my family..... half of them don't even know how many fish I even have!! They don't really care. Haha!! I think that is a good thing though! my mom doesn't even care when I get a new fish, because I take care of them well, and pay for every penny!
 
#15 ·
My family likes my fish as much as I do. I set up my 44 gallon in the living room so my mom and dad can enjoy it to. They even helped with the water changes when the tank was cycleing and it was an almost daily thing. They never have kept fish so I had to explain why we had to do it that way and they were like oh ok. I have great parents and feel fortunate to have them. I am so sorry some of you don't have the support I do. I send you all big hugs to make you feel better.
 
#17 ·
I can totally understand where you're coming from. My dad doesn't understand the need for water changes either. He keeps telling me that in college he had a tank he never changed the water for and it did ok. He must have been very lucky or his memory of their life spans has blurred since then.

He's terrific with all the other animals though, and he supports my habit, so I can't be too hard on him. He means well, anyway.
 
#19 · (Edited)
I had that experience too with a person at the dog park, he was looking at how perfect "Bear" (my dog) was and asked me if I had any other pets. I said yes a fish and he looked at me weird and told me that a fish didn't really count. OMG I was so mad, and for a person that hang's out at a dog park with his dog, a supposed animal lover tells me that fish don't count as living animals or whatever. They live and breathe like any other pet and deserve the same respect as your big dogs or cats.
But sadly I guess no other people has the same idea on life as me, an animal is an animal whether be it a dog or a snake.

My mom wasn't at all happy about me wanting to buy a fish, but now she checks up on him every so often.
 
#20 ·
When it rains, it pours, huh? I don't keep bettas anymore but not many people would ask me questions why I do water changes unlike before. Since returning to goldfish, they notice the frequency and water volume I change from my tanks so they realize just how dirty most fish can get.:rofl:
 
#21 ·
My stepdad thinks he can tell me how to take care of my fish because he used to breed mollies. I try to tell him that mollies and bettas are entirely different fish, but he refuses to see that. On occasion he used to ask why I didn't put them together!! After I told him that bettas are fighting fish, and'll kill each other, he said I should get rid of them, and start raising schooling fish ;x
I don't talk about my fish anymore, since most people make fun of me and threaten my fish D: The sad thing is, is I believe they would actually harm my babies. I've heard too many stories and seen too many things to not believe it. I went to Petco today to pick up a tank for Devin, and I watched a 9 or 10 year old girl walk up to a tiny red betta, and shake him. At first she tapped on his glass, and seeing him flipping out, she grabbed the tub and shook it. I was so angry, I couldn't speak. I wanted to buy that boy so, so bad, but I didn't have enough money for the tank and fish.
 
#22 ·
Ugh!! People are so mean!!! I kept my first betta downstairs until my Mom got tired of having him in the dining room. There were a few times we had people with kids over and I would move the fish to another room because I didn't want him subjected to tapping on his bowl.
 
#24 ·
Both my parents are animal lovers, but my mom does harp on me about the frequent water changes for my fish (and by frequent I mean once a week :/ ). Sometimes when I have problems all at once it makes it seem like she may be right which is troubling to me. But, in the end I know that I am doing what is right for my fish and I am just hoping for the day when I can get a nice RO unit and a UV sterilizer so I'll never have to worry about my darn well water again. I find it so depressing that I can't even tell anyone about my hobby because they would all just laugh at me. No one around here keeps fish, and most everyone is of the same view that it's "just a fish." I just wish that there was someone to share my enthusiam with :( The human race is a sad thing.
 
#26 ·
I have fish, my dad has fish, my bro has fish and my bros girlfriend has fish XP
 
#27 ·
Hey you guys we have each other to share our love of fish with so don't worry about all the other clueless people out there. Hugs to all of you for takeing good care of all your fish.
 
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