How do you tell someone that their fish needs better care?

[littlegreen]

Hello, everyone!

I am the proud new owner of a beautiful betta who was today moved into his new, 3 gallon palace.

One of my best friend's roommates, has a betta, too. He's a big boy in a half gallon bowl with a sharp plant taking up most of the room, and today I realized that his GORGEOUS fins are starting to rot.

I plan on giving her the gallon jar that my boy was in previously because it's better than nothing, and offering to help him nurse her boy back to help, but...

...how do I bring that up to her? I don't really know her at all and I don't want her to reject my advice. : (

[Aus]

Bring it up tactfully and as an offer to upgrade the tank. Avoid giving her a lecture on betta care, but as you bring the tank over, subtly 'notice' the fin rot.. "Oh, now I look at Fish X, I notice he has a little fin issue.. would you like some help with that?"

Then you can tell her the problem probably began with a sharp plastic plant ripping his fins. ><

People respond more enthusiastically to casual offers than judgment. But in the end, its her fish, her choice. Sadly, some folks just don't like to learn anything. I hope that isn't the case here..

[littlegreen]

Me, too. She's a really nice girl, so I'm hoping that things go well... : (

[Ramble]

I agree. I did a lot of animal shelter work and folks don't want to be lectured. Shuts them right down.
If you start with offering to upgrade the bowl, and just 'happen' to notice the fish has some fin issues, that will make an easy opening to offer suggestions if your friend's roomie seems open to it.

[Pogthefish]

ok, I have a friend with the same issue, I notice casually, and ask stuff like curiously and oh really? you shoudl do more water changes, that will help with that issue. Tryo offerign to save money my rinsing out filter cartridges instead of buying new ones to preserve bacteria, and stuff. Offer to help nurse a fish back to health, or give casual advice difinitely..

or walk in, see it, and say OMG how can that fish survive with that plant? oh look its fins are rotting! nahhh dont, try the first method instead lol

[Gamma]

I know a person how refuses to listen to me if a say the word "fish" she change's her betta's tank every three months! He used to be in a one q jar but I gave her a five gallon becaus it would make her fish "prettyier".

[Pogthefish]

ugh i hate these people -_-

[Olympia]

"Hey I just got my betta a bigger tank, so you want my old one? It's a bit bigger."
Some people will pick up that you're trying to lecture them, and once you hit that point most people just don't want to hear it.
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[Pogthefish]

then you can say hey want my old one? it would fit so well on that table! Omg people will be so jealous!

and hey if u have a filter u dont have to do so many water changes :D

[Alcemistnv]

Yea, I'd casually offer a new tank, and maybe a different plant to go along with it. As a gift to go along with the tank.

I have a friend who got a one gallon glass bowl for her betta, but she didn't realize that her fish was a baby and that it was still going to grow. She also had a plant in there which took up half the room. I'd occassionally go and visit her fish and tell her that her fish looks great, but he needs more room. Im sure she would have gotten a bigger tank had she kept the fish -.-