Well the best way would be to show us a picture. lol A bunch of us have had the same dilemma. Females fins are generally shorter (but plakats have those short fins as well), males are the only ones with beards but females can have a bit of beard, females have a certain shape to their head but hunch back can hide that, and females generally have an egg spit but so do very young males. Here this link kinda helped me, but what helped the most was talking to other people on this site.
http://aquaticpassion.animal-world.c...?showtopic=879