What a great letter! I like how you use forceful vocabulary, but don't go overboard with it! I really quick put it into "business letter" format (I wasn't sure if you'd already done so, but just in case, here it be). There were also a couple contractions I highlighted if that's okaaaaay. XD
Edit: and +1 on registereduser's post. The grammar nazi in me was just looking at format, etc. X3
Your 2-line Address (without name)
Mr. ? Myers
Petco Co, etc.
Dear Mr. Myers,
My family and I have been customers of Petco for many years now, and have always been happy with the service provided by the employees and the products we have purchased. However, some months ago I started keeping Betta fish, and what I have found in Petco stores is nothing short of appalling. The tiny cups they are kept in are filled with excrement, moldy food, and undoubtedly enormous quantities of ammonia. Unfortunately, the water is not the only issue with the condition of these animals; the fish themselves are sick and dying.
I see diseases of all kinds afflicting the Betta fish, from Swim Bladder Disease to a Body Slime Infection, and I see them every single time I enter a Petco store. Aside from the gravely ill Betta fish, without fail I have to point out at least one Betta that is already deceased, lying completely unnoticed in his dirty little cup. I have photos of multiple Bettas I have purchased that depict the poor quality of life I have just described, which will be included on the last two pages of this letter. These conditions are disturbing and completely unacceptable for a company who sells and claims to care about their animals. Another serious concern is the care sheet for these fish that contain numerous incorrect facts and requirements for proper care.
The first and one of the most important pieces of misinformation listed on the Petco Betta care sheet is the minimum size for the tank. The care sheet states: “Male Bettas… do best in containers of one liter (approximately a quarter of a gallon) or larger.” This is very far from the truth. Most Betta enthusiasts will agree that the absolute minimum size for a Betta is one gallon, and that is only if complete water changes are done every other day, and other care requirements are also met. Also, stating that Bettas need temperatures of “72-82 F” (which should actually be 76-84 F) would mean that for the majority of household to achieve that temperature a heater would be required. Safely heating a tank as small as one quarter of a gallon is not possible, and will also not fit in a container of that size. Maintaining a safe aquarium to keep fish healthy is extremely important, and that is also an area where the care sheet is lacking.
“Do a complete change for small bowls (less than 2 gallons) once a week.” Following this guideline will cause the tank to be overloaded with ammonia, and ultimately make the Betta sick and die. As stated above, small one gallon tanks should be changed completely every other day to keep the environment safe for the Betta. Also, larger aquariums need a 25% change every week, not ever 2-4 weeks, and that is if they are cycled (which they should be). They are like any other tropical fish and need to have clean water in order to be healthy and live a full life.
Finally, the diet and feeding sections are not accurate and do not reflect the nutritional needs of these fish. Flaked foods should not be part of a Bettas’ diet, and instead should be fed pellets made especially for them. Frozen treats such as bloodworms should be just that, treats, and only given once a week to prevent over feeding. As for feeding directions, “Feed sparingly 3 times per week and no more than fish can eat in 3-5 minutes”, that is a recipe for a dirty tank and an over fed Betta. Betta fish should be fed about four individual pellets every day, and fasted once a week to prevent bloating. As you can see, the care sheet provided by Petco does not accurately list the proper care requirements for these fish, and misleads many customers which eventually will result in a sickly and poorly cared for Betta.
Something else I would like to bring to your attention that I know is very important to Petco; profits. Promoting incorrect care to make small (but very numerous) sales is a very disappointing practice, and it is unfortunate that things have gone so far as to cause the deaths of countless animals who do not deserve the treatment they receive. However, I believe that if Petco were to promote proper Betta care, profits would increase as the customers would be spending much more on the necessary supplies. Buying a more acceptable tank, such as a 2 gallon or more, is going to cost more money than a small, quarter of a gallon container. Plus, if the customer buys a heater, thermometer, proper food, gravel, and plants, they will be spending even more. Therefore, properly caring for these animals benefits the Bettas themselves, your customers, and your company. On the other hand, if Petco continues this pattern of neglect, it will cause customers (like myself) to look elsewhere for healthy Bettas, and a decline in profits will soon follow.
Whether thinking of trying to provide better conditions for your Bettas for their sake, a combination of reasons, or simply just to increase profits, there is nothing to lose by allowing these animals to live better lives. Thank you for taking the time to read this letter, and I hope that it will encourage you to make changes regarding the care of these wonderful little fish.
Ok great, thank you both for your suggestions. I will definitely put it in business format (I was never any good at how to set that up, so thank you) and will try to edit the care sheet corrections into bullets. Registereduser, is there any particular place where you feel including the promotion of the bookshelf aquarium would be most appropriate?
It looks great with the paragraphs RainbowSocks made, I don't think bullets are needed. Maybe mention the bookshelf aquarium here:
Buying a more acceptable tank, such as a 2 gallon or more, is going to cost more money than a small, quarter of a gallon container. You may not realize it, but the Petco Bookshelf Aquarium is perfect for betta fish! Plus, if the customer buys a heater, thermometer, proper food, gravel, and plants, they will be spending even more.
I love it, sounds very good, I like how you emphasize the points of care, and what it could mean to the company if things that they are doing could be improved, how much it will benefit the Co, and the Health and Safety of the fish. Also did you include the Particular Petco in question, such as the Store #, or address of the store, which city, and or state..and the person who you spoke with at the store, that all comes in to play when a Manager is reading they might just pick up the phone to speak to the manager of that store, and get to the bottom of it, also you might want to recomend that the staff have meetings with Aquarium professionals to keep up with Quality standards of Fishkeeping, that should also render them to show that things have been inspected, and a sticker will show such action has been taken..I would also somehow include that info..if you can..:)