Betta Fish Care  
Go Back   Betta Fish and Betta Fish Care > Journals
Check out the eBook Betta Fish Care Made Easy
betta fish
Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 10-17-2012, 12:43 PM   #221 
Shirleythebetta
Member
 
Shirleythebetta's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Ohio, US
Yea, I just hope that isn't why he is depressed. He was 25 when we got together. He told me all he wanted was to fall in love and be married and own his own home by now. He has accomplished both. I am hoping it isn't because of his sister getting pregnant. She is his little sister (26). I have been asking him if he is affected by seeing her have a child. I always get a "no she's crazy" in response of course.

Both of us want to wait to have kids because we want both degrees. He wants an Associate's and I want my doctorate. That isn't easy to get with a kid. I don't know if I ever want one since that will put a huge damper on my doctorate. I have a ten to fifteen year goal to get it and one of my Proffessors basically told me I was nuts for going for it. He said a Doctorate in Business is "highly agressive, difficult to achieve and rare" and told me good luck, lol. He doesn't realize just how stubborn I am.

Anyways, Jeff and I having a baby would cause our educational dreams to be put on hold since we would have to be at the doctor's constantly and I would have to avoid stress since I would be high risk. Genetically, we have an entire generation of girls who can't conceive on my mothers side. There's four of us. We have the capability but it would require months or years of drugs and possibly surgeries to correct this genetic abnormality. Plus Jeff used to be a weight lifter and started steroids in highschool. He has only been off of them for about three and a half or four years. Therfore he would have to have drugs too. Neither of us feel it is worth it to kill our careers and our bodies to bring another life into the world that doesn't need to be here. We decided a long time ago to adopt when the time is right career wise. I am just wondering if with this 30th birthday coming up he is feeling the "biological clock" pressure.
Shirleythebetta is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-17-2012, 04:05 PM   #222 
Shirleythebetta
Member
 
Shirleythebetta's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Ohio, US
OMG! My tablet's button broke. LOL. It's stuck in stand by and I can't get it to click on. Good thing I haven't paid it off yet. I have to wait until Friday to take it to the rental place and it will probably take two weeks to get it back. AHH what am I going to do I am going to be so very bored. OMG I'm such a nerd.
Shirleythebetta is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-17-2012, 04:52 PM   #223 
dramaqueen
Banned
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Central Texas
Yeah, having kids would definitely put a damper on things. You just have to decide what choices are right for you and if others don't like the choices you've made then too bad. It's your life to live how you see fit. And you can always adopt later if you decide you want a child.
dramaqueen is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-17-2012, 04:59 PM   #224 
Shirleythebetta
Member
 
Shirleythebetta's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Ohio, US
I feel that way too. I don't want to force having a child because society says I have too. It isn't fair to me or the child. We don't really have the money to support a child anyways. But social pressure is very hard. I feel like society looks at us like we are freaks because we are heading to our thirties and havent had four kids like everyone else. I drifted away from all of my friends because at 18 they started having children and we grew apart. We had nothing more in common. I was free and they weren't. I'm a little sad his sister is having a kid because she and I were friends and we did things as couples. She will use this baby as an excuse now and our friendship will be over. I can see it already because all she is talking about is babies. I get tired of hearing about it. All "breeders" do is talk to me like I am in idiot and tell me about children. They don't realize I have taken extensive training in Psychology on Early childhood development and childhood education at a a graduate level at age 14. My education in that hasn't stopped yet and nobody can tell me anything about children I don't already know. I couldn't tell you how many times people have told me I don't understand because I am not a mom and how being a mom is the most important thing in life. My favorite saying is "women are supposed to have kids it's God's way" If God feels that way why are so many women infertile. I don't have friends because all of the women around me have children and that is all they talk about, breeding.
I have never been one to bend to social norms though. Hence the reason I am going after an agressive degree. I always do things the hard way and if physical society doesn't accept me someone online always will . Nothing attainable in life is worth it or properly appreciated without a struggle. I feel better about myself knowing that I can attain goals that aren't the social norm like a doctorate of business. They all may be able to reproduce but how many of them will have a Ph.D? Or even an Associate's degree in something other than friggin' nursing? or any degree at all? LOL

Last edited by Shirleythebetta; 10-17-2012 at 05:12 PM.
Shirleythebetta is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-17-2012, 09:12 PM   #225 
dramaqueen
Banned
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Central Texas
I was in a Sunday school class with all married people and everything is all about the kids and grandkids.n We had a get together and I sat by myself and just wanted to cry because I felt so left out.
dramaqueen is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-17-2012, 09:51 PM   #226 
Shirleythebetta
Member
 
Shirleythebetta's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Ohio, US
It does make you feel bad. I feel like an alien life form sometimes. I'm only 25 and they make me feel like I am such a freak because I didn't start reproducing at 18 like everyone else. Heck my cousin who everyone thought was going to make a huge name for herself (I thought so too) went and got a fancy degree in anthropology. She ended up graduating, getting pregnant and working as a bagger at Krogers.

I feel so bad until I sit back and think about how different I am than them and different is good. You are one of the few people that understand that I think. All they have to talk about is breeding babies and we can speak intelligently about Math, Science, Psychology... If you asked any of them who Irwin Schrodinger and B.F Skinner are they would give you a blank stare. So really we should be proud we didn't conform to what society tells us we should do with our lives as women. I just wish other people would stop looking at me with that sad, stupid pity smile like they do. It really gets old.
Shirleythebetta is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-18-2012, 12:50 AM   #227 
dramaqueen
Banned
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Central Texas
It's their problem, not yours. Where do people get off trying to tell you what to do with your life, anyway?

I've heard of Skinner but not Schrodinger. lol He must be fairly new. lol

Last edited by dramaqueen; 10-18-2012 at 12:54 AM.
dramaqueen is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-18-2012, 12:30 PM   #228 
Shirleythebetta
Member
 
Shirleythebetta's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Ohio, US
Nope, actually he was a Pilosopher/Physics guy in 1935 (Einsteins time frame). He came up with an interesting philosophy about a cat. This hypothetical cat is imagined as being in a closed box. The paradox is, is the cat alive? is it dead? You won't know until you open the box. Basically we don't know anything if it isn't uncovered and proven about space. This is the easiest way I have found it explained but the link is wikipedia. You have to take it with a grain of salt. I am not a physics person and don't know much beyond this. I don't actually much care about Philosophy either since it's only ideas and theories, not based on facts. I just thought the paradox was interesting. I told you I'm a nerd. My mother says I am SO smart. I tell her it isn't inteligence, I'm a dork. I can't multiply large numbers and I can still be out spelled by a fifth grader.

Shirleythebetta is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-18-2012, 12:49 PM   #229 
dramaqueen
Banned
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Central Texas
Lol. No wonder I never heard of the guy. I never took philosophy. I'm going to have to read up on some of the theorists.
dramaqueen is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-18-2012, 01:38 PM   #230 
Shirleythebetta
Member
 
Shirleythebetta's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Ohio, US
Quote:
Originally Posted by dramaqueen View Post
Lol. No wonder I never heard of the guy. I never took philosophy. I'm going to have to read up on some of the theorists.
Schrodinger is definatly an interesting guy.
Shirleythebetta is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Why not? My Journal lvandert Journals 41 06-07-2012 09:24 PM
Koi's Journal a123andpoof Journals 4 01-20-2012 05:20 PM
Shirley and Thelma :( ChelseaK Betta Memorials 1 03-24-2011 10:14 PM


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 02:35 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.